Leblanc's Smeggin Awesome Mega Pub Brawl Battle

[Leblanc4prez]

yeah, It'sa me... So What?
I'm back and ready to randomise the world... Mwahahaha!

Concept
The setting is a rural area public bar.

Rules
-This is not an RPG, feel free to god mode (but be fun about it)
-If you happen to die... who cares. Unlimited re-spawns!
-No weapons can used that would not normally be found in a pub. i.e. No guns (unless it happen to be the smith and wessen bolt action above the bar)
-The only items that can be used are those found in a pub. Your person will not bring with them a thermo nuclear device into a bar! Essentially your person came in with a wallet, the clothes on their back and a determination like no else!
-This is not a 'kill the above poster' topic in any sense. If someone did somthing to you a page back.. feel free to have your revenge
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Leblanc sits down on the bar stool, asks for a martini, and views the football on TV.

[donteatpoop]

donteatpoop steps behind the bar and fixes himself under the Guiness tap.

[apotheosis]

Apoth asks the bartender for a nice tall glass of Devils Springs 160 proof vodka and a barrel of raw eggs. He then proceeds to eat his lunch.

[Nappi]

Napiophelios strides into the bar,knocks the dust from his hat and asks quite loudly:
"Where all da white women at?",then seeing Apoth and DEP,"oh neber mind I see dim bitches now."

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc, now slightly buzzed walks over to Apoth and smashes his martini glass over his head.

[apotheosis]

Apoth dropkicks Leblanc, and then proceeds to give the entire bar a golden shower.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

3J stumbles into the bar, being chased by two men in black suits.

[donteatpoop]

/throws bananna peel in front of suits.

[apotheosis]

Chugs a beer to fuel his ongoing urination over the drunken crowd.

[Vesnic]

Ves mosies on in and, ignoring the ridiculous vulgarity and violence around her, quietly orders a Cosmopolitan.

[apotheosis]

Apoth offers Ves to allow her to buy him a drink.

[Vesnic]

Ves politely declines the tall tipsy man wobbling in front of her and, seeing that the person under the Guinness is now relatively unconscious, pushes him gingerly aside to fill her own glass. (Wow, that was a slide downhill from the Cosmo...oh well, can't keep up appearances forever...)

[apotheosis]

Apoth is angered by the rejection and proceeds to throw a chair through a window and step on an unattended baby for dramatic effect.

[Vesnic]

(But you offered for ME to buy YOU a drink!) :confused:

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc gets up.

Shaking his head a bit, he slowly looks around... and throws a right that could knock the liberaty statue down... The force of it sent apoth flying, crashing through the wall, now there's a doorway where there wern't one there before...

[apotheosis]

Apoth gets up, dusts himself off and proceeds to give LeBlanc a nice curb stomping to keep him in line.

It goes down sort of like this.

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EDIT: Damn, I can't embed videos.

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc landed arse-up in the toilet with his feet stuck in the air
With bricks and shit and broken glass and paper ev'rywhere
And caked in that and crap he ripped the dunny off the wall
And armed with that and no bloody brains, he went back for more.

He slammed that dunny over Apoth's head, shatterin' it to bits
Pepperin' 'em with porcelain and splatterin' 'em with shit
And there was teeth amongst the muck and shit whose they were you couldn't tell
But it looked like Leblanc had lost an ear as well.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

3J Looks around, noticing the stupid suited men are laying down, unconcsious. He approaches Apotheosis and thanks him for saving him from his mothers lawyers.

[Locke]

Locke walks in and looks around, trying to make himself heard above the din. "Has anyone seen my call girl's lawyers? We were supposed to meet for scotch on the rocks, but I think I may have the wrong address."

[Nappi]

Apoth gets up, dusts himself off and proceeds to give LeBlanc a nice curb stomping to keep him in line.

It goes down sort of like this.



Man,Apoth,that's a pretty fucked up little scene.I think I am gonna have to start downloading the Sopranos now...

[apotheosis]

Apoth puts the Sopranos on the television.

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc starts eating the television.

[apotheosis]

Apoth uses the glory hole in the back of the room.

[Vesnic]

Ves passes out on a chair with some vodka still dribbling alluringly down her chin. Pity I didn't get to dance on the table. I'm just not what I used to be.

[donteatpoop]

Poop relises that this is the most retarded thread ever and promptly leaves.

[apotheosis]

Leaves to go onto the otherside of Apoth's glory hole that is.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

3J, persists in trying to thank apoth.

[apotheosis]

Apoth says your welcome to JJ and then proceeds to enjoy DEP's hoover-like blowjob skills.

[Leblanc4prez]

A small fox\boy enters the pub.

Shippo: Mr Leblanc?

Shippo is then pelted with rancid feaces by DEP's Dog.

However at the time leblanc is trying to chat up vesinc by talking about his Star Wars action figures, including the ultra rare Talking Chewbaca that accidentialy had Han Solo's voice chip installed.

[westernjesta]

Jesta strolls in through an opening in the wall (doors are for squares) and heads toward the restroom. Jesta is disgusted when he finds Apoth using HIS glory hole! Jesta begins pumeling Apoth with his soap-on-a-rope and kneeing him in the nads.

[march5th00]

March walks in and pushes Vesnic off of her stool. He has a cheap laugh then walks to the bar down the street where he orders a Negroni. It's been a good day.

[Vesnic]

Ves is too trashed to land on her feet, so she lands on her head instead. A big pool of red begins to collect around her skull.

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc stares at thew pathetic human for a while. He draws a Mustartch (I can't spell for shit) on her and walks over to see what Jesta is up to.

[westernjesta]

After giving Apoth a what is known as a Cleveland Steamer, Jesta ventures back to the bar and reaches behind it to get a shot of Whisky. He downs it and then chucks the shot glass at the person who just walked in the door, that person happened to be Leblanc. Leblanc falls to the ground in a loud thud whilst Jesta gets himself another shot.

[Leblanc4prez]

With a cry of "DIe Beaner Towel!" Leblcnc jumped the bar and grabed the battle axe that was co-incidentaly hanging from the wall. Unfortunatly as it was purely ceremonial, the blade came off and sliced off leblanc's fingers.

Just then the floor exploded and through the new hole came a mewoth, a gengar and a jynx, all brandishing sawn-offs and shouting various rasist remarks.