Leblanc's Interview show!

[Leblanc4prez]

It's back, the thread that won me the esteem and laughter of all my friendies.

For those of you new to this, I interview a videogame, book, or movie charecter. Hilarity ensures.


Shippo interviews Tingle



Shippo (S): Good morning everybody! I’m here on the cliffs of Ikana Canyon today to give our viewers a one-time interview with the head cartographer in Termina, Tingle. I haven’t found him yet, even though this map says that I’m at exactly the right spot…

Psy over the Reporter’s headset (P): Have you tried looking right above your head!?

S: What!? Is he a bird or something?

P: No you moron! Haven’t you ever played Majora’s Mask?

S: Well, yeah, but I never got past that part in the beginning in North Clock Town where you have to get the leader of the Bomber’s gang, Jim, to tell you the password for their hideout. I keep talking to him and all that he ever says is “Don’t bug me, dude! Can’t you see that I’m trying to pop this balloon?” I can’t figure out where this balloon is that he’s trying to pop.

P: This is a common problem with you, isn’t it? Let me ask you something: You know how the townspeople in Clock Town are all worried about the falling moon?

S: Yeah.

P: Have you ever thought to look up at it?

S: Well…no.

P: I thought so. Back on topic, Tingle isn’t a bird, he’s a lost little Kokiri boy who is 35. He usually is found about 20 feet in the air floating under a balloon.

S: Are you telling me to look at the sky?

P: Actually, no. You’re on the edge of a cliff, so 20 feet up from the base of the cliff is actually about 100 feet down from where you are. YES YOU MORON I’M TELLING YOU TO LOOK AT THE SKY!!!

S: Don’t get so uptight! *Looks up* Woah! The sky is blue! What are those white things that look like cotton balls?

P: Well, those are… Ya know what? Let me ask you something: Have you ever used an eraser for a chalkboard?

S: A few times, yes.

P: Ya know how all of the chalk dust gets all over the eraser so that it won’t erase anymore?

S: Yeah.

P: How do you fix that?

S: You find another eraser and bang the two together so that the dust falls off. That stuff makes me cough like crazy, so I don’t do it that often.

P: Right. Those white things in the sky that look like cotton balls are actually the collective dust from all of the chalkboard erasers in the world.

S: Wow. So in the future, won’t the entire sky be white?

P: Um…Yeah….That’s right…. Back on topic, to get Tingle down, just hit his balloon with a rock and he’ll fall.

S: Ok. *throws rock up**misses*

A few seconds later…

S: OW! What just hit me on the head!?

P: Oy! Move back a few steps and throw another rock at the balloon.

S: Ok, but there’s a cliff right behind me…

P: SO GO THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!

S: Whatever. *Walks away from cliff**Throws rock at balloon**Hits it this time**Tingle falls with his signature yell*

Tingle (T): What’s this!? You are not Link! You have no fairy!

S: Relax. I just want to ask you a few questions.

T: Ok, but we must become friends first, and to do that, you have to buy one of my maps.

S: I already have a map. That’s how I found you.

T: Ah yes, but my maps are special. They also show what is up in the air, not just what is on the ground. And for a person like you, that could come in very handy.

S: Fine. *Gives him a bottle of hobo whiskey* Can I start the interview now?

T: Don’t you want me to give you your map first?

S: OK! *takes the map* Alright! How does just one balloon enable you to float in the air? Shouldn’t it take many hundreds of balloons?

T: Yes, it should.

S: So how does it work?

T: The balloon is so light that it makes me float up with it.

S: But what is in the balloon?

T: Air from my lungs.

S: That isn’t enough to cause just the balloon to float up.

T: No, it isn’t.

S: So how is it that you are able to float?

T: The balloon is so light that it makes me float up with it.

S: But what is in the balloon?

T: Air from my lungs.

S: That isn’t enough to cause just the balloon to float up.

T: No, it isn’t.

S: So how is it that you are able to float?

T: The balloon is so light that it makes me float up with it.

S: But what is in the balloon?

T: Air from my lungs.

S: That isn’t enough to cause just the balloon to float up.

T: No, it isn’t. Get to the point.

S: I’ll just ask my next question. Why do you float 20 feet up in the air?

T: Because if I were buried 20 feet underground then I wouldn’t be able to breathe. And what’s worse is that nobody would ever look down there and I wouldn’t be able to sell any maps or make any friends.

S: I never thought of it that way. Since you are a map-maker, you know a lot about the geography of Termina, right?

T: Actually, I don’t know squat about the geography of Termina.

S: So how can you make maps of it?

T: I never said that the maps were accurate. I like to think of my maps not as navigational aides, but as works of art. The prettier the map, the more I can sell it for. Each map is unique.

S: But if each map that you draw is different, then wouldn’t the world look different for each person that buys one of your maps?

T: It could. I’ve never really seen much of Termina so I wouldn’t know.

S: Ok. My next question is: Is the guy who runs the pictograph contest really your father?

T: NOOO!!! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!! Yeah, he’s my father.

S: Judging by his appearance, he can’t be more than 40 years old. How could he be your father if you’re only 35?

T: Did I say that I was 35? I’m actually 53 years old. I got in a hot air balloon accident during my junior year in high school that damaged part of my brain, so I’ve had numerical dyslexia ever since I was 71.

S: So let me do the math. You were born when you were 54?

T: 45.

S: Sorry. So that would make you 80 now, right?

T: But I just told you that I was 53.

S: So you’re only eight…

T: Eighty.

S: EIGHTY years old?

T: That’s right.

S: So your father is 40 years younger than you are?

T: No. I’m 40 years older than he is.

S: So he’s 40 and you’re 80.

T: I’m 53.

S: So how old is your father?

T: I’m 40 years older than he is. You do the math.

S: Ok. *Looks up at sky**counts fingers**shakes head* No! That can’t be right! *looks down at ground**counts toes**thinks for a minute* He’s thirty one!

T: You don’t have that many toes.

S: So he’s 13?

T: Finally you got it!

S: But I don’t have 13 toes either.

T: Just ask your next question…

S: Alright. Is there some special meaning to that weird saying that you don’t want anybody stealing?

T: You mean “Tingle Tingle, Koolah Limpah!”?

S: Yeah that’s it. “Tingle Tingle, Koolah Limpah!”

T: Hey! Those are the magic words that Tingle created himself! Don’t steal them! If you do I’ll sue you to no end!

S: Do they have a special meaning or not?

T: Actually, they do. Say them backwards and you’ll find out. Go ahead. Try it.

S: Ok. “Elgnit Elgnit, Halook Hapmil!”

T: A perfect sentence in Russian.

S: Oh! I get it! So what do your “magic words” mean in English?

T: I dunno. I don’t speak Russian either.

S: Yet you know that they form a perfect Russian sentence?

T: Yep.

S: Very interesting. Just out of curiosity, do you have any medical disorders? I mean other than your numerical dyslexia?

T: Acrophobia.

S: Which is…

T: Fear of heights.

S: I see. Doesn’t it hurt when you fall from 20 feet up?

T: Yes.

S: So why do you float up in the air if it hurts to fall and when you have acrophobia?

T: I also get altitude sickness.

S: Do you? So why do you float up in the air instead of standing on the ground like a normal person?

T: Because I’m not a normal person.

S: I knew that. There must be some really important reason that you float up in the air.

T: There is.

S: What is it?

T: Well you see, ever since I was little…

S: You still are little.

T: Ever since I was FOUR, I’ve had this, well, addiction…

S: To what?

T: Chalk dust.

S: Oh! I get it! So 20 feet up you are in the big floating balls of chalk dust and you can satisfy your addiction!

T: Right.

S: Well, that’s all the time that we have today. Coming up next We interview Team rocket. What have those wacky crims got in store for us? Find out next time.

[Leblanc4prez]

Leblanc interviews Team Rocket.

(In a small, waiting room like place Team Rocket waits to be interviewed)
Jessie: Do either of you know who this guy who's interviewing us is?
James: I don't know but if he's not here in two minutes I'm outtahere.
Meowth: Ditto.
Jessie: I hope he's not like that Team Rocket guy who interviewed us.
Meowth: Yeah, he was pathetic.
(Just then, the sound of people and and objects being knocked over are heard along with the sound of shuffling papers)
Leblanc: Oh, whoops, I'll pay for that! Don't worry! Ooo....sorry ma'am. Is your jaw okay. Aw don't worry sir that broken leg will heal in no time. Oops, sorry about that copy machine. It shouldn't have been in my way. Alright, now what idiot puts a water cooler up against a wall where its supposed to be?
(Finally, a nerdy twenty year old who bears a strikeing resemblance to Prof Lyman Banner from Yugioh GX rolls through the door knocking over four chairs.)
Leblanc: Howdy, Team Rocket!! Sorry I'm late. I was busy organizing my sock drawer.
James: Your....sock drawer?
Leblanc: Indeedy-do! Its loads a fun!! I guess I better get going to that interview on Team Rocket.
Jessie: We ARE Team Rocket!!
Leblanc: I know,I said that when I came in here. What are you deaf?
Meowth: What are you DUMB!?
Leblanc: No, little walrus, I'm just stupid.
Meowth: I'M NOT A WALRUS!! I'M A MEOWTH!!
Leblanc: I know you're a wolverine.
James:(Holds Meowth back from killing Leblanc)
Jessie: Lets just get on with the interview.
Leblanc: Oh, right! I'm late for an interview with Team Rocket. Bye, Team Rocket.
Jessie: YOUR SUPOSSED TO BE INTERVIEWING US!!
Leblanc: I know, I'm supposed to be interviewing you, the Voltron Force.
James: WE'RE NOT THE VOLTRON FORCE!!
Leblanc: WOAH!? I've got an interview with the Voltron Force? I gotta go!
James: NO YOU DON'T!!
Leblanc: Of course I'm not going anywhere, I've gotta interview Team Rocket. Bye!
James: YOU JUST SAID YOU WERN'T GOING ANYWHERE.
Leblanc: I know, I'm interviewing you.
Jessie: THEN WHY....*sigh* never mind.
Leblanc: Don't I know you people from somewhere.
Jess,James and Meowth: (Look at Leblanc strangely) YES!! WE'RE TEAM ROCKET!!
Leblanc:WOAH REALLY!? I'M INTERVIEWING TEAM ROCKET TODAY!!
Jessie: WE KNOW!! WE ARE TEAM ROCKET!!
Leblanc: I know....
Jessie: ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!(Runs into ladies room)
Leblanc: Hmmm I wonder what's her problem?
James: Look you better wise-up.
Leblanc: Um, sir do you have a purpose of being here?
James: YES YOUR INTERVIEWING US!!
Leblanc: Sorry sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the amusement park. That kind of behavior is not suitable for the movie theater.
James: What the fuck!? WHATEVER!! I'M OUTTA HERE!!(Leaves)
Meowth: (Oh no, I'm here alone with this screwball) Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Leblanc: Ever been to Europe?
Meowth: No
Leblanc: Me neither.
Meowth: Oh I know, you remind me of that Team Rocket kid. Giovani's nephew.
Leblanc: Hmm,isn't he a real stud?
Meowth: STUD!? HE ACTS LIKE YOU!!
Leblanc: My mistake....SUPER stud.
Meowth: AAAHHHHHHH!!! (Runs out)
Leblanc: Well, looks like my interview with Pee Wee Herman went pretty well. Now to go interview Team Rocket.

[Leblanc4prez]

Psy Interviews Prof Lyman Banner.

Psy (p): Here I am today, after a long search, at Duel Academy, where I hope to interview the illusive Prof. Lyman Banner.

Lyman (L): Oh hello there strange kappa creature, are you a spirit monster perchance?

P: What? No I'm the guy who spoke to you on the phone last night; I'm here for the interview for Infinite-story's off topic forum.

L: Oh, before we start, would you like a sardine?

P: NO, now first questi... *Sees Pharaoh* What the hell is that?

L: Oh, this is my best friend Pharaoh

P: Your best friend is a cat?

L: *Sad* Well truthfully he's my only friend...

P: Any Idea why?

L: Well, I'm an Alchemist, and as such I work with a lot of strange substances, I guess I must smell.

P: Oh, that's what that was; I thought it was a dead skunk. Anyway first question, what do you do here?

L: I teach alchemy to the children.

P: Isn't that a bit dangerous?

L: Well, it was, until all my students died of lead poisoning, so now my classes are quite safe. Those bastards can't attack me with box cutters anymore.

P: No I meant.. Oh... Next question, how long have you worked here?

L: Since the beginning.

P: What, after What ever God made the world, did just that?

L: Um... No, not quite that long... um...

P: Anyway I have a friend called Shippo and he just loves your show...

L: He wants my autograph?

P: Well no, your underwear actually.

L: O....K..... Is he some kind of weirdo?

P: Hey that's a bit of a pot and kettle situation isn't it?

L: What!? You think I'm weird? At least I don't look like a retarded duck.

P: *Starts glowing blue* CON-FU-SI-ON!!!!

L: *Hit by confusion attack and now lying on ground charred and slightly smoking* Whawababba?

P: That's all the time we have today, join us next time, and please, if you have a character you want interviewed, just post its name and where it's from here. BYE.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

:confused:

You are totally insane, Leblanc. And that's why we love you.

[Leblanc4prez]

Shippo (s): I'm here today inside chubby's nose because Mr. Leblanc told me to find and speak to a booger. oh, I think this is one now...

Mucinex Booger (B): Herro I am Mr. Booger, how may I serve you?

S: I'm just here to sak a few questions, you have no prob with this right?

B: Not at all young sir.

S: Ok, so, why did you choose to be a booger?

B: Well I wanted to be a civil enginear, but my grades wern't high enough.

S: I see, so, why do you live in this man's nasal cavities?

B: The rent's cheep.

S: Anything bad about this place?

B: Sometimes the evil finger comes to capture me, the missus or our little snotboy.

S: Evil finger?

B: Where, Where!!

S: no I was just asking... forget it... So How long have you lived here?

B: Two weeks, thats as long as I usuarly can as the evil Mucinex attempts to always evict me.

S: You could always live in my nose, I don't even know what Mucinex is.

B: Taht would be nice, but i think i'll remain here for now, Amphropological Fox-Children probisscus aren't my first choice of home... er.. no offence.

S: None taken. So now i will give you a present for answering my questions... *Rummages through pockets* Ah... here *Gives Mucinex Booger a strange slimy thing*

B: What is this?

S: I don't know... I found it in my armpit.

B: Well before you go.. wanna join me in a conga?

S: I thought you'd never ask.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Now THAT'S what I call comedy!

You should write for Jay Leno, dude!

I'm actually serious.

[Leblanc4prez]

ok, I just did Mucinex Booger for Ves:D.

Not my best work, but As I had no idea about who this critter was, a sterling effort I must say.

:confused: Anyone else have some they want interviewd? If not, I'll interview Hervey Birdman.

[Vesnic]

Thanks, LeBlanc! and good use of the scant bit of information that I supplied you with about the Mucinex Booger. He is a booger after my own heart. Thanks, man.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

HITLER!!!
Interview Hitler!!!

That guy was HILARIOUS! Great Job!

[Leblanc4prez]

Hey chub. I'm writing one now.

[Leblanc4prez]

Psy (P): Ok so here I am back in time. I don't know how I got here, but I am in Berlin during the height of the Second World War So... Um... Lets see if I can find someone to talk to eh?

*Psy walks around aimlessly of a couple of hours, until he meets a strange short man with a toothbrush moustache*

P: Hello? Who are you?

Man: Mein Gott, ein fremdes sprechendes Ente-Ungeheuer! (My God, a strange talking duck-monster!)

P: Oh... I forgot, you speak German.... ok... try this.. *puts a Babble-fish in the man's ear* Now you can speak and understand English my good man.

Man: Oh, my. That strange fish has broken the language barrier.

P: Now that that's out of the way, what’s your name?

Man: I am Adolph Hitler, Hear my name and tremble puny duck!

P: Ah-Ha I knew you looked familiar! So, what do you do for fun around here?

Adolph (A): I usually head on to the “Boozen Puken”

P: This would be a bar?

A: Yes, something like that.

P: Ok now I have heard many rumours about you

A: yeah….

P: Do you really only have one nad?

A: *angry* See for your self. *Drops trousers*

P: I’m BLIND!!!!!! Oh, wait… I thought a dictator would have a bigger di..

A: Enough.

P: How do you get the girls with that thing?

A: Power is the greatest aphrodisiac. How do you get girls?

P: I use my psychic control to great effect .

A: And I thought I was a bastard.

P: This is about all the time I have so.. um…
A: Wait. Do I win the War?

P: Um…. Yeah, what ever. See ya.

*Psy activates a time node.*

Note: Hitler did not win the war. However, the brief meeting with psy changed history and Hitler survived to become A Talkshow Host and now has a larger fan base than Oprah and Dr. Phill combined.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Boozen Puken.

Nuff said! :D

[Leblanc4prez]

Bulb (B): Today, my insane friend LeBlanc has asked me to talk to Vegeta. So here I am at Capsule Corp, and As I wait here in the wiating room, there's nothing to read but company brochures and old fasion magazines.

Secretary: Mr Briefs will see you now.

*Bulb trots through the huge metal doors into Vegeta's office.

Vegeta (V): So, you must be the annoying creature I am forced to speak with today.

B: Um... I'm Bulb sir...

V: Well get on with it.

B: Oh. Ok, so what do you do for fun?

V: I beat the living shit out of people who ask me useless questions.

B: Err.... so they say your not human, is this right.

V: Puny grass creature, I happen to be the prince of all Sayians.

B: Oh, your royalty. *Bows*

V: What the fuck are you doing!? Get up off the floor you strange creature.

B: Huh!? Oh fine then. *Gets up* So you married a human, how was that?

V: My wife Bulma is none of your buisness, but befor you ask, no she can't take it all at once... a sayian's tail is not the only large appendage he has.

B: But you have no tail.

V: *Angry* Only because a fool called Yaijerobi cut it off.

B: Why?

V: To stop me me from turning into a great ape monster.

B: O...K... *Mutters* Psyco.

V: What was that!?

B: nothing, nothing. Well I have to get back to my boss now, um thanks for your time.

V: Hmmm, before you go *Throws a capsule to Bulb*

B: What's this?

V: A Dyno-Cap, this one contains the best artificial woman money can buy.

B: Human?

V: Why what's wrong with that?

B: Well Chub might like it I Guess.

V: Chub? You mean ChubbyTeletubby!? That bitch owes me an 8-ball!

B: so you like pool?

V: No, Cocaine. How else do you think I can work out so long with out tireing.

B: Ok I'll tell him. See ya.

*Bulb leaves*

V: Hahaha, When that capsule is opened, doom will befall all. I will get my revenge Kakarot!

[Vesnic]

Um...isn't Vegeta an MSG-loaded cooking enhancer?

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Silly Vegeta, what you call an '8-ball' I call a 'line'.

Please don't kill me.

[Leblanc4prez]

Um...isn't Vegeta an MSG-loaded cooking enhancer?


Nope, he's a saiyan from Dragonball Z

Ok, I think I'll interview Princess Peach next... Unless you have another request?

[Vesnic]

I'd like you to interview Mickey Mouse, see what that excessively capitalist little bastard has to say.

[Leblanc4prez]

Yay... I'll be right on it!

[Dragavan]

Nope, he's a saiyan from Dragonball Z

Ok, I think I'll interview Princess Peach next... Unless you have another request?

I'd rather see an interview with Daisy, she always gets shafted in favor of Peach and her Farah Hair.

[Leblanc4prez]

Spector (s): Today I the famous Mercenary, Spector the Gengar have been paied by Leblanc to visit the Flower kingdom (next warp pipe off mushroom kingdom) to interview young princess Daisy of the flower people. Say hi to the camera

Daisy (D): Errr. Hi?

S: Now my good woman, First question; Name any seven digit prime number.

D: What?

S: What latatude and Longditude did the wreck of the Hesparus occur?

D:Huh?

S: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

D: I know this one...um... CL.

S: CL?

D: Yeah, one hand goes CL and the other one goes AP.

S: Er... Well done

Kurt the Meowth over headset (K): What are you doing you idiot?

S: Scuse me... *Into headset* What is it now pathetic fluffball?

K: This is not what we were paid for... Read the questions leblanc wrote!

S: Fine... *Mumbles* I don't get to have no fun.

D: er? What is going on?

S: Nothing... ok, what do you think of Peach, the monarch of Mushroom Kingdom?

D: What? WHAT? THAT BITCH? YOU DARE ASK ME, THE GREAT DAISY ABOUT THAT BLEECH-BLONDE NO IQ SLUT!!!

S: Well it says on the card Leblanc Gave me...

D: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

S: Ok, skip this question then... Next one, What gives you the right to rule over the flower kingdom?

D: It's my birthright.

S: What? You are monarch just because your parents were? You have no skills? You took no tests? You didn't consult the people to see if they wanted a monarch?

D: What are you talking about?

S: Nothing... Next question... Vanila or chocolate? Fuck this these questions stink...
I'm outahere... Peach would make better interview matireal, and she wouldn't be as hard on the poor camera.

D: WHAT!

S: I'm leaving now.

D: Your under arest!

S: look you silly tart I'm going.

D: *tries to attack Spector* What are you?

S: Takes one to know one.

D: *confused* What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

S: I know you are but what am I?

*Sudenly Bulb apears*

Bulb (B): Alright this is getting too silly, end of interview now!

S and D: PISS OFF!

*Ends with all fighting*

[Leblanc4prez]

Shippo (S): My second bestest friend Ves sented me to Florida to Disneyworld... He said I gotta find The Mickey Mouse and ask him questions or somthing.

*Suden fan-fare, Mickey arives*

Mickey (M): Hello, I'm Mickey, The face of Disney and ruler of the world.

S: Hi, I'm shippo... and i'm a shippo.

M: What do you want with me?

S: I gotta ask some questions for Ves.

M: What's a ves?

S: I'm asking the questions.

M: Fine.

S: What exactly do you do?

M: I'm the face, I just hang around, mooch off my creator's residuals, and in turn earn more for his gigantic empire.

S: What's with the voice? Do you do Helium?

M: When you're as famous as I, you feel very pressured. Some take coke, I do Helium.

S: Mr Psy said helium can kill.

M: I'm still here.

S: But you're an ampropological representation of a mouse and not in any way alive.

M: Er.... I'm Mickey!

S: Oh. I'm Shippo.

M: I'm Mickey.

S: I'm Shippo.

M: I'm Mickey.

S: I'm Shippo.

M: I'm Mickey.

S: I'm Shippo.

M: I'm Mickey.

S: I'm geting sick of this joke, let's just get back to the questions. Is it true your creator was a Nazi?

M: Nazi's are mean.

S: Answer the question

M: *Sweating* um....er... Look is that Jack Sparrow killing the little Mermaid?

*Shippo turns to look*

S: No it's just *turns back* Hey!

M: *Has gun* You ask too much questions. I'm afraid I must Take you to the hidden Lab under the Matterhorn.

-Under the matterhorn-

*Shippo is tied to a bench with a lazer above him, like in Goldfinger*

S: where am I?

*A strange man walks in, his face covered in shadow*

Man: So you are the one. Who sent you? The CIA? The KGB?

S: What's happening?

Man: You have tried to uncover a conspiracy that goes beond Disney, The revival of The Forth Reich! *Man seps out from shadows to reveal a cyborg Walt Disney*

S: Ahhhhh! Cyborg!

Walt (W): Yes! And with your body, The re-constructed brain of Adolph finaly can have a home.

S: Please stop, I'm scared.

W: With your powers, the forth Reich will be the greatest of all!

S: You'll never get away with this. Psy is my off-sider, if anything happens to me then.

W:*interupting Shippo* That duck? Hmm. This complicates things a bit....

*Sudenly Kurt the Meowth appears in a flash of cheep pyrotechnics*

Kurt (K): Stop right there, Nazi scum. The CIA have hired the infamouse mercanary squad, "Team Omega" To take you down!

W: Ha, you have no proof.

K: I planted a wire on fox-boy here.

W: Nooooooo!

K: Say goodbye Walter. *Shoot's Walt with a tranqulizer pistol*

S: You came to save me?

K: Not exactly, you were bait. Ves of the CIA contacted me with a contract on Walt here, then she fed you a story to get you to come. I just snuck a wire on you.

S: But you'll save me now right?

K: It'll cost ya!

S: I'm not allowed to have money... But I can give you a girly giggle?

K: You're in luck, Girly giggles are the only currency I take.

S: *Shippo giggles*

K: That'll do. *Rescues Shippo*

S: Yay. Let's go home.

K: What about Psy? Isn't he your off-sider?

S: Is he?

K: That's what you said?

S: Did I?

K: Forget it.

-end-

[Dragavan]

Have you ever considered interviewing the now famous and much loved Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube from Portal (part of the Orange Box from Valve).

http://a70.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/34/s_44ba2c5007618f7b25ff2dc767961fdd.jpg http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/6075/companioncubecustomjk9.png

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2159/1707628296_ec65e0b056.jpg
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/images/news/forevercube.jpg

And if you can't get the Weighted Companion Cube (I know they are hot right now), then how about GLaDOS? I can't imagine she is busy any more, other than with her continuing experiments.

Remember, The Cake is a Lie.

That is all.

[Leblanc4prez]

Researching now.................

Research continues.................

Must research..... As soon as research finished, Interview will begin.

[Dragavan]

Researching now.................

Research continues.................

Must research..... As soon as research finished, Interview will begin.

If by research you mean playing Portal, good on you. The game rocks. Best game of the year. Best new innovation in gaming of the year. Best everything in my opinion. Who cares if it's short, it rocks.

The cake is a lie.

Dragavan

[Leblanc4prez]

Violet the Goth Wigglytuff (V): Hi, I'm Violet... My new boyfriend Psy asked me to do this... Well *Looks at cube* What are you?

Weighted Companion Cube (C): I am the official Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. I am no ordinary Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube, I am THE Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. I am your best friend.

V: I thought you coudn't talk.

C:Er...

V: anyway it is stated that "The Cake is a Lie" But in the final cutscene you are shown with a cake... as welll as some of GLaDOS' core chips.

C: Fine, if you must know, I am not THE Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube from the game, but one made after for merchandising purposes.

V: I see.

C: Um, Did you know that GLaDOS won the award for having "lines that will be quoted by gamers for years to come." at G4?

V: No, now go away you annoying peice of scrap.

C: Me scrap? What about the junk that your boyfriend makes? Particularly HK47.

V: Hey, most of them suck, but HK47 is a work of art.

C: What ever he didn't win G4's "Best New Character Award" like I did.

V: Look, if you don't want an EMP enema, piss off!

C: What ever, I'm going, just don't expect GLaDOS's morality core to work next time you enter the enrichment cellar.

V: Look, I don't live in your universe, Half life holds no threats to me.

C: Fine... but remember.. THE CAKE IS A LIE. *Self destructs*

V: Glad that's over. Psy owes me big time for this.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

As a member of the live studio audience, I'm confused. But strangely aroused.

GREAT JOB!

[Leblanc4prez]

Anyone want an interview? How about Psy interviews shippo?

[Leblanc4prez]

Any one have an interviewee?

[Vesnic]

Hey, Psy, whaddaya call a pissy German?

...
.....
........

A SOUR KRAUT!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Leblanc4prez]

Psy: How do you make a Nazi Cross?

.................
............
........
.......

Stamp on his Feet!

[Leblanc4prez]

OMG NAGA NAGA NAGA!!! I WILL WORK ON THIS RIGHT NOW!

Shippo: It's scary in this forest... Why did Mr Leblanc send me here?

???: Mwahaha!

S: Wah!!!

?: What have we here? *Looks at Shippo* Are you a Demon?

S: Er... No, no, Please don't kill me!

?: Kill you!? Mwahahaha! Foolish child, I merely wish to take your possessions.

S: But I ain't got nothing.

?: Sure you do, kids are loaded these days.

S: No really, I don't have nothing.

?: Hmmmm. you say your not a demon, but you have a tail. You say you have no possessions, but if you didn't you would not be so far in the woods alone.

S: No, honest, Mr MRH, my second bestest friend, told me I had to find the most beautiful sorceress in the world. Do you know her? Her name is Naga.

?: Naga? Mwahahahahaha, that's me.

S: AGHHHH! Please don't kill me!

Naga: Look kid, I won't kill you, geese, what's wrong with you. Anyway, what does this MRH want with the great White Serpent NAGA!?

S: He wants an interview.

N: Is that all? As Seyruun's most beautiful woman, I am used to such things. So, what would you like to know?

S: Why you so pretty?

N: Oh, that's sweet. Now stop kissing up to me and ask a proper damn question.

S: Why are you wearing a bikini in the forest?

N: This is my battle Bikini. It might not look like much, but it offers very good protection from male attackers.

S: Why?

N: *sigh* didn’t your mommy ever have that talk with you?

S: I don't have no mommy. *cries*

N: Shit. Er I mean, sorry kid, don't cry. Er... I'll show you some of my treasure if you stop crying ok?

S: *Spluttering* What, treasure?

N: I got this *Holds up ruby* from a Goblin chief. Nice eh?

S: *Nods*

N:*Pulls out orb* I stole this from Lina. I don't think it works anyway.

S: *Nods*

N: And *Pulls out sword* This is what I'll use on you if you don't stop with the tears!

S: WHAAAAAA!

N: Not the best approach... hey brat, how'd you get so far in the forest anyway?

S: I walked.

N: But what about the monsters?

S: I supposed they walked as well.

N: NO I don't mean...

S: Your silly... and pretty. I like your boobies. Better then the ones belonging to red-hair lady who told me where you were. Bye-bye. *Shippo disappears*

N: Silly person, well I guess that's what I get for drinking the Saki I found in the goblin chief's hut. *Lays down and sleeps off her drunkenness.*

END

[Leblanc4prez]

OK. Hey Psy, Get to work will ya?

Psy: Fine I'm on it.

[Leblanc4prez]

Almost done... Oh and I havn't had flu... I've been working. Nothing too interesting, ecept for the two headed Snake. Snake DNA is very fragile... As you might know I'm a herpetologist (in training) after all.



And now for somthing exactly the same as last time!
Psy and Anng!

Psy: Well here I am in fudal China. Oh and please don't ask me about my accent. I have a normal english accent, but I am fluent in German. OK! Now that's over I have to find one person in a population of millions.

Anng: Wow, what's that thing!

P: Woah, that was quick!

A: Errr. What are you?

P: I am the mighty Psy, Lord of the mind and master of the four sciences... at your service.

A: I'm Anng, I'm an air bender!

P: I went on a bender last week.

A: What?

P: Nothing, so your Anng? Great, Just the guy I need to see!

A: Err, why?

P: Oh, just an interview, mabey an experiment later.

A: O.....K...

P: First thing, what's an Air Bender?

A: I can controll the spirit of the air.

P: Facinating! And it does your bidding!

A: Well to put it bluntly... yeah.

P: My God, would you like to work for me?

A: No, I must unify china, or destroy the fire nation, or what ever the hell this show's about!

P: *Whispers* Err, Dude,No breaking the forth wall ok!

A: Ok.

P: Now, what's up with that strange leaumer thing?

A: Oh, that's Momo.

P: Does it bite?

A: Pat him and see.

*Psy attempts to pat Momo*

P: ARGH! The Bastard bit me!

A: Ahahahaha!

P: Now you die!

*Psy and Anng have a very long battle*

P: This is getting nowhere, I call a truce.

A: Ok, you're the most fun opponent I've ever faced. Mabey some day I'll join you after doing whatever quest i'm currently doing!

P: Fine then. Oh and by the way, TELL YOUR GOD DAMNED FLYING BISON TO STOP SHITTING ON MY TENT!

A: Oh, Ok then.

[Leblanc4prez]

YAY I love Foamy and all his friendies!


*Leblanc is helping out at the local book store as a stacker*

Leblanc (l): well, that's the last of the bibles... I wonder if Psy was right
They don't seem to fit here in fiction. Oh well, now on to all
theese unsold copies of Mein Campf.

*Germaine walks in*

Germaine (G): wow, this place has changed!

*Germaine looks around the book shop. Everything is totaly messed up*

G: Who are you?

L: I'm LeBlanc the Lucid, master of chaos and world famous Alchemist, at
your service mamm.

G: Alchemy? What are you babbiling about?

L: Alchemists spend their lives trying to turn base metals into gold as well as
trying to find a cure for death!

G: O...K.... So does it work?

L: *Sobbing* NO!

G: Yeah.... well anyway I'm here for a Wiccan spell book and a Vegitarian
cookbook.

L: Er... I think I filed the Wiccan books under self-help and the cookbooks
under biographys.

G: Why?

L: I don't know... I'm bored as hell.

G: So you seem like a strange person, why are you working here?

L: I came for an Alchemy book and the man said "I'm late for a wedding, look
After the place for me willya?" and so I've been messing around here
scince about... two days ago.

G: Sorry I asked.

L: Hey are you a gothical?

G: I do happen to b e Goth... Why?

L: My friend's girlfriend is one too.

G: Yeah, so?

L: Errrr.... I can make things explode!

G: Ok, I'll just grab my books.

*Germaine grabs her books and goes to the counter*

G: *Thinks* Good, I finaly got away from that freak.

Shippo (S): Hey, How may I serve you?

G: *loseing her composuer* What the fuck are you?

S: Well if that's your attitude, you can just piss off.

G: What are you doing here?

S: Mr LeBlanc told ma to sit here and press the pretty buttons on the register.

G: Fine... How much?

S: Hmm... *presses buttons at random* $2500

G: But the prices on the stickers add up to $35

S: Lets Haggle!

G: Wha?

S: $50

G: Fine anything to leave...

S: No, No, No, youre supposed to haggle.

G: No, I'M NOT DOING ANY FUCKING MONTY PYTHON SKETCH!

S: *Starts crying* Wahhhhhhhh!

G: Shit.

L: Hey what have you done to my friend!?

G: I, I, I, I,...

L: I just might sue you!

G: But, but, but, but...

S: $35

G: Done.

*Germaine pays and runs as fast as her chubby legs can carry her*

L: Well, I'm going back to file Harry Potter under True Stories.

S: I'll just press the pretty buttons.

L: Now where did I put that box of Harry Potter books?

[Vesnic]

Am I the only person who has no idea who any of these characters are?

[Usoki]

Quite possibly. Foamy is a popular cartoon (why exactly it's popular illudes me- Foamy died years ago) of illwillpress.com, Germaine is Foamy's sidekick/owner, and LeBlanc's characters are all archived in some random thread.

I'm sure MRH will argue that Foamy is some sort of unbridled genius amidst the murk of modern internet culture, but I couldn't care less. It was a bit funny a few years ago- by now, it's just painful.

[Usoki]

Pssh. As if I'm going to bother watching something Megaman thinks is worthwhile. I have only watched two worthwhile episodes- One, "Five More Minutes", which I saw...what, three years ago! is the most popular and the most quoted. It wasn't that great. It has no replay value. Get your own damn bagle. The second, "Hypnotism", is so old that it will never appear in the pay-per-slot archives ever again.

[Leblanc4prez]

Shippo: Me liked "Amnityvill toaster".

[Leblanc4prez]

Ok... any new requests.....

[Vesnic]

Yes, yes, interview Fezzik! I just finished the book and fell madly in love with the lovable giant. Of course Andre was marvelous. Fezzik! Fezzik!

[Leblanc4prez]

Bulb: Hello people, Here I am back in time. Psy sent us here by a Temporal time shift.

Psy: Damn straight.

B: well anyway, we are supposed to interview a giant by the name of Fezzik.

P: Wasn't he Andre the Giant?

B: NO BRAKING THE FORTH WALL!

P: Ok, ok, *muttering* stupid motherfuking dumbass plant monster*

B: Now let us go behind theese rocks.

*A boulder narrowly misses them*

P: SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK WASX THAT!?

B: There goes our G rating.

*A giant steps out from behind the rocks*

Fezzik: I didn't have to miss... oh you not Wesly?

B: Well hello my good sir, are you by chance Fezzik the giant?

F: Yes. Dat is me.

P: Why the fuck did you hide behind the rocks and almost turn us into pate?

F: I thought you were the man I had to kill...

P: Hiding behind rocks, throwing a boulder? That is not very sportsman like!

F: I know... but my boss made me do it.

B: so who are you waiting for?

F: Wesley. He is discuised though.

P: hey, didn't we pass a man like that?

B: Yeah, you used telekenisis to push him off the clif remember?

P: OH yeah, him and the spaniard!

B: I find your love of wanton destruction quite hard to deal with sometimes.

F: Excuse me.

P: MY wanton destruction? What about your weed habit!? Fucking passifist!

F: Excuse Me!

B: Pacifist!? I may be a pacifist, but you are a facist!

F: EXCUSE ME!

P and B: WHAT!?

F: You souldn't fight. You are oviously friends. Why not see past your differences and use your particular strenghs to compensate for your partners weekness?

P: Um... You're a fucking moron.

B: Yeah, stay out of our conversation... rude!

F: Fine then. I'll just inform my boss of Wesley's death.

P: Yeah, just piss off and let us talk will ya!?

B: Yeah... dummy.

*Fezzik walks off as Psy and Bulb bicker.*

[Leblanc4prez]

Ok. I'll just research her through the Allmighty WIKI! and then.... We'll see.