You're lucky you only know me through the internet

[donteatpoop]

Because for the last two nights I have been eating 2 bowls of chili and drinking 2 pints of Guiness.

The aftermath in my pants is fearful.

[End Master]

The aftermath in my pants is fearful.

LOL.

I always did like your use of words to describe truly horrible situations.

[apotheosis]

This is possibly the most unnecessary thread on the forum. I love it. And yes, I consider myself quite lucky because I am very adverse to bad smells.

[donteatpoop]

I let one out a moment ago and an air-raid siren went off.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

You know you've been married too long when you rip one in bed and then hold your wife's head under the sheets.

[Leblanc4prez]

You know you've been married too long when you rip one in bed and then hold your wife's head under the sheets.


Psy: DUTCH OVEN

[apotheosis]

No, no, Chubby.

Married too long is when you feel the Apocalypse brewing in your ass, get up out of bed, go around to her side where she is gently dreaming, bury her nose between your ass cheeks, and then let loose with gaseous death strong enough to wake her from her sleep in time enough to also get a mouthful.

...not that I ever did that in my marriage, mind you. :rolleyes:

That would explain a lot.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I had a friend who stuck animal cookies up his wife's ass while she was passed out drunk.

They're divorced now.

He said her ass actually sucked the cookies in. Good times.

[Usoki]

He said her ass actually sucked the cookies in.
Well...yeah. That's the entire basis behind a suppository.

[xnull]

Plus animal crackers are delicious.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

He said he also used to cum in his ex's ear.

She was definitely a freak. For a while they had a live-in girl friend they shared. Pretty decent looking. Total meth junkie, though.

Fucking animals. I hate meth junkies.

Animal crackers are a delicious treat, taken either orally or anally.

[Leblanc4prez]

Violet: That's why I like Psy. He's always to buisy with his medical\chemical\mechanical experiments to do anything too bad to me.

[Vesnic]

Who gives a fuck about anything?

[Leblanc4prez]

Psy: Why does anything give a fuck about anybody?

[Vesnic]

Hahahaha! I don't even remember last night too well. It's all a little hazy. I'm boring Ves at the moment, but I'll be back in form in a few hours!

[apotheosis]

I had a friend who stuck animal cookies up his wife's ass while she was passed out drunk.

They're divorced now.

He said her ass actually sucked the cookies in. Good times.

hahahaahahaahahaa!

That made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Haha! I laughed my ass off too. Especially the WAY he told the story. He kind of mentioned it in passing.

I was like, 'WHAT!? DUDE, you gotta give me all the dirty details'

It belongs in a movie. His wife was using the bathroom the next morning, when all of a sudden he heard her shouting, "WHAT THE FUCK! BRIAAAAN! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME!?"

They were a violent couple. He choked her out once, she hit him from behind with a golf club once. Great folks.

[Vesnic]

Heh that reminds me of a story told me once by my Canadian cagefighting friend from Vancouver. He told me about this really intense Puerto Rican couple he was friends with. Both of them were professional fighters (some kind of obscure martial art) and they agreed at one point in their relationship that the best way to solve problems was to beat the shit out of each other, then have mindblowing make-up sex. He said she could break someone's back if she kicked them the right way. She tried this move on her boyfriend, but he managed to trip her and then jumped on her, twisting her arms behind her back. The next day, they were snuggly as ever.

[Leblanc4prez]

Psy: And I thought I was fucked-up!