LeBlanc's Loony Lyrics

[Leblanc4prez]

Hey, Just like I started in the Poetry thread. Take a song, change the lyrics.

The Max Rebo Band
sung to: Billy Joel's "The Pianoman"

It's nine o'clock down at Jabba's place
the regular crowd waddles in
there's a weird thing sitting next to me
it has three eyes and mottled grey skin.

Fett says “Max can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
but it's haunting and sweet and if you miss a beat
this carbine will blow off your nose.”

He said sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.

La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum..

Now Jabba the Hutt is a friend of mine
he gives me my life for free
And because he's a Hutt, why, we all kiss his butt
or the rancor will have us for tea.

He said "Bo Shuda, offom da Tukatti!"
as he stuffed a frog into his face
but we don't know a woid, 'cause he shot the talkdroid
So we'll smile and nod, just in case.

Oh, La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum..

Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.

Sy Snootles is our favourite vocalist
her face it ain't launching no ships.
Don't know why it behove her to go kiss a hoover
but that's how she got those weird lips.

A Gammorean guard is head butting bricks
as another one gnaws on a bone
and I don't know which has less intelligence
either those two big thugs or the stone.

Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.

Oh, la da da da de de dah
la da de de da dah dum..

It's a pretty good crowd, here at Jabba's place
it's a killing, that's why we're all here
we'll sail over the dune to the pit of Carkoon
and we'll toss someone in with a cheer.

'Cause we gotta new droid on the pedestal
and a man in black's come in the door
he just pointed a gun over Salicious Crumb
and then promptly sank through the floor.

Oh, La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum..

Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
for the Jedi Skywalker is down below
and the rancor is gripping him tight.

[Usoki]

LeBlanc...I'm stunned! That was coherent! And canonically accurate, down to the very names! I wouldn't have guessed you to be capable of such wonders!

[Leblanc4prez]

Starwars is my Hobby. I want to go to Vegas and go to a convention. I made this a coulple years ago cause I was bored in class.

[Leblanc4prez]

My name is Chubby!
Sung to: Emminem's My Name is

[Chorus (2x):]
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Chubby Teletubby
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Chubby Teletubby

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the forums for one second?


Hi guys! Do you like drug addled violence? (Yeah!)
Wanna see me get stoned on crack up to my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than LeBlanc's brainis? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which crack Ho I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Psy said, "Chubby you're a sociopath!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Hey put down the gun man!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung Shippo from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Serenity's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than LeBlanc when he drank that metho too fast
C'mere Suki! (Kurt: Chub, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, Severenz sent me to piss the world off!

[Chorus]


My dealerwanted to charge me $125
Thanks a lot, next month my paycheck will be $35
I smacked him in his face with an Whiskey bottle, chased him with a nine
And shot of his nuts and threw them to a pitbull (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the hospitallub, had my jacket zipped in
Flashed the head nurse, then stuck my dick in the sharps bin
Psy 'n me are extraterrestrials, running over pedestrians
In a space ship while they screaming at us: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out Shippo does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told him I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doing drugs and name it after him (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear MRH, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

[Chorus]


Stop the tape! This kid needs to be Lobotomised, right away! (Get him!)
Psy, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!)
Am I coming or going? I can barely decide
I just smoked a mighty joint-- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!)
Brain dead, like Shippo and Bulb (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so pissed I'd shoot things
HOW YOU GONNA RUN NOW? (WAH!)
I JUST SHOOT YOUR FUCKING Knees! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way, when you see Shippo? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I shot his ass, in this dream I had

[Chorus]

[ChubbyTeletubby]

My dealer wanted to charge me $125
Thanks a lot, next month my paycheck will be $35

That was pretty good, my man. I like you, Leblanc. You make me laugh and I think you're a lot smarter than people give you credit for.

[Vesnic]

My favorite part was putting on the bullet proof vest and then shooting yourself in the head. Yeah, it's always good to keep the coroner chuckling. Keep it up, Leb-o!

[Leblanc4prez]

Hey anyone can put their songs here too ya know?

[Leblanc4prez]

Working... Snakes are awesome....

And now for an OMEGA MOMENT

Psyduck Killed Omega
Sung to: The Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Star"

I saw you on the Securi-cameras back in 2002
Lying awake prepared and tuning my rifle.
If I was prepared it might stop you coming through.


Oh-a oh


You took the credit for destruction of my world.
Destroying all of my machines and new technology,
and now I understand the problems Spectre could see.


Oh-a oh

I felt your presence
Oh-a oh

It stuck like resin.
Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.


You came along came and broke my heart.
Oh-a-a-a oh


And now we meet in an abandoned power plant.
We have a stand off and I reach for my gun.
You went all psychic and then I was done.


Oh-a oh


You were the first one.
Oh-a oh


You were the last one.


Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.
In my mind and in my heart, I need money to restart.
Oh-a-aho oh,
Oh-a-aho oh


Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.


In my mind and in my heart, I need money to restart.
You came along and broke my heart, I put the blame on You you fucking retard.


You are a retard.
You are a retard.
Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.
Psy killed Omega corp.


Psy killed Omega corp. . (You are a retard.)

[Leblanc4prez]

Heh heh heh.... Pootie Tang....

[Leblanc4prez]

Welcome to the house of Guns
Sung to: Madness' Welcome to the house of Fun

Shippo: Good morning miss

Clerk: Can I help you son?

Shippo: Psy wants me, to buy some guns
Im a big boy now
Or so they say
So if youll serve
Ill be on my way

Box of grenades
With the bang-explody touch
Pack of tracer bullets
That trace in the night
A flamethrower and chainsaw
body armor
Anything really that can cause harm

Welcome to the house of guns
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to your death today
'cause Psy is on his way
Welcome to the house of

N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
My best friend psy
needs some new weapons
Im up to date
And the dates today
So if youll serve
Ill be on my way

Welcome to the house of guns
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to your death today
'cause Psy is on his way
Welcome to the house of (Guns)

Clerk: Im sorry son
But we dont stock
Guns or ammo
In this shop
Try the house of guns
Its quicker if you run
This is a chemists
Not a gun shop!

Shippo:rifle ammo
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
A pack of rifle ammo
With the hollow tips
Too late!
Gorgon heard gossip

Serenity: Hello Shippo

Shippo: hello miss Serenity
Kurt the meowth is crazy ain't he?

Welcome to the house of guns
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to your death today
'cause Psy is on his way
Welcome to the house of guns

Welcome to the house of guns...

[Leblanc4prez]

Still Don't Give a Fuck
Sung to Eminem's: Still don't give a fuck.

[LeBlanc]
A lot of people ask me.. am I really insane?..
Hell yeah I'm insane
I don't want to be sane
A lot of people think.. that I just pretend to be fucked up..
that I do all types of.. retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you? Good
Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, typin' a post
Hopped in the window, eatin' som cold toast
A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this
Livin amuk, never givin a fuck
Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck
But I post nonsence on my computer
I'll grab you by the balls and crush them with my scooter.
Come back the next week and ejaculate all over your computer (YEAH!)
A killer instinct runs in the blood
Emptyin forums and buryin the other posts in the mud
I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn
The rest of my body's still bein operated on
I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm typin this shit
Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin and shit

[Chorus:]

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS
For all the postts I've typed - yo I'm still gon' type
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past
But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS


I walked into a flame war, with intent to embarass you
And typed so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue
I'll hang you til you dangle and chain you with both ankles
And pull you apart from both angles
I wanna crush your skull til your brains leaks out of your veins
And the fuckin things become carpet stains
So tell Mrh not to bother with Typin another post to harm.
Cause I'm crushin the entire forum in my palm
Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a firearm
So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb
I'll buy chubb a new crack-pipe and some cocaine
So we can smoke till dawn ("Here Chub, try this one")
I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives,
a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives
(Shittin on rappers) Causin hospital accidents
God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again

[Chorus]


I wanted an post so rugged nobody could touch it
Spend a million a word and went over my budget (Ohh shit!)
Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?
I can't type anymore - I just murdered the alphabet
Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches
I'm withdrawn from zoloft so bad my blood itches
I don't type to get the women - fuck bitches
Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
Never ran with a click - I'm a posse
Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me
From the second I was done, Psy lost me
I'm a cross between Psy, Shippo and Ozzy
I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?
Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

[Chorus]

[Leblanc4prez]

I am the Fuckwit
Sung to: The Beatles' I am the walrus

I am wrong as you are right as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like LeBlanc from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Typin' up a post, waiting for the reply to come.
sittin' at my compy, stupid bloody tuesday.
"Man, you been a naughty boy, you type random stuff."
I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob.

Mister city Endmaster sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they type like Apoth in the sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, i'm crying.
I'm crying, i'm crying.

Stupid fucking Shippo, dripping from my dead, dead brain.
Crabalocker Bulba, pornographic psyduck,
"Boy, you been a naughty dude, your posts still suck."
I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting at my big brown desk waiting for your posts.
If the posts don't come, I get the most
From typing even more shit.
I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert Ves and choking Chubby,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they type.
I'm crying.

I'm sick of random, gunna be sirious for once!
Elementary post typin, Staying on topic.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Michale Ray Holt.
I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

[Usoki]

That's...kinda depressing. You are nota fuckwit. You have had a lapse into annoyance, and the instant it was pointed out to you, you made a full 180 degree repentance. I'm not even remotely mad at you. I don't think I could be if I wanted to.

...Still, I'm impressed with your ability to keep the words in perfect line with the melody.

[Leblanc4prez]

Ah, I feel better... Want another Star Wars song?

This one is a joint effort between me and someone called Compubrains at a forum known as Tau-Online.


Y.O.D.A.
sung to: The Village People's "Y.M.C.A."

YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said
YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said
YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I
*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*
YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am
WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you
GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say
*WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*

You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!

You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Come and get yourself clean!
Come and have a good meal!
Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!

YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into
SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this
TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got
*SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*
YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He is
COMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll be
HAVIN' this bright thing that ain't hot. It is
*MINE* *OR* *I'LL* *HELP* *YOU* *NOT*

You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!

You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Don't just stand in the rain!
You're all covered with mud!
come and sample my homemade crud!

OLD BEN, Are you listenin' to me? I can't
TRAIN HIM, he's so reckless you see! Like his
OLD MAN, he's so angry but brave! Betcha
*HE* *SCREWS* *UP* *AT* *THE* *CAVE*
YOUNG MAN, If you start will you end, or be
GOING, off to save all your friends? To be
TRAINING, needs commitment and work, if you
*WIMP* *OUT* *THEN* *YOU'RE* *A* *JERK*

You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You should stay here and train!
You don't have to save Han!
If you do so, you'll lose your hand!

You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A.
(repeat and fade).

[donteatpoop]

This is the first time I have glanced at this thread, and holy shit have I been missing out. Fucking brilliant leblanc. The Star Wars ones stand out as my favorites; especially the first one with the line "we're all in the mood for a melody, except Solo whose in carbonite." Funny shit, man. Nice thread.

[apotheosis]

Don't be so hard on yourself man. You are an asset to this community.

[Leblanc4prez]

YAY Thankee Apoth... All you guys are all-right!

The Posts of Apoth
Sung to: Simon and Garfunkle's "The sound of silence"

Hello Apoth, my old friend,
Ive come to PM you again,
Because a vision softly striking,
Left its seeds while I was typing,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the Posts... Of Apoth.

In restless dreams I typed alone
Narrow chips of silicone,
'neath the halo of a desk lamp,
I typed my oppinion to the peoples who's brains were aflight
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
blinding light
That split the night
And typed the posts of Apoth.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People posting without meaning,
People reading without thinking,
People typing posts that on topic never stayed
And no one remained
to return the posts of Apoth.

Fools said I,you do not know
Nonsence like a cancer grows.
Read my posts that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And remained un read
In the wells of Apoth

And the people bowed and prayed
To the nonsensical God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of LeBlanc
Are scralled accross the subway walls
And classroom halls.
And hidden in the posts of Apoth.

[Usoki]

YMCA? A Simon and Garfunkle song?

You beautiful man, I could hug you. But you're a bit far away, so I'll have to pass. But still.

Y.O.D.A. isn't quite as showing of your Star Wars geekdom like The Max Rebo Band is, but YMCA isn't really set up to allow that much room for words. It's good, but not as good- but you followed YMCA perfectly, so that really isn't your fault.

(I'm partical to Yankovic's Yoda- it's way better than the orgininal Lola, thinks I.)

I am now going to have various Simon and Garfunkle / Paul Simon songs stuck in my head for days now, by the way... most likely Kodachrome and Cecelia, but I'm sure The Boxer will make a guest appearance at some point.

[Leblanc4prez]

Yankovic is a hero of mine... he is the reason I worked for a week at my Pianoman song.

Anyone else got a song?

[Usoki]

This is the song that is nine words long.

[Leblanc4prez]

Is that you Shippo?

Pretty Snubbed for a Deku Shrub
Sung to The Offspring's: Pretty fly for a white guy.

Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
And all the forum says I'm pretty snubbed for a Deku Shrub

One, two, three, four, five, five, six

You know its kinda hard just to get along today
Usoki isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue, and he may not have the most
But everything he lacks, well he makes up in his posts

So don't debate, post it straight
You know he really doesn't get "it" anyway
Gonna type some shit, you know it
For you know it, for you know it
So if you don't break, you can compensate
And type about Ves and LeBlanc
The world needs Usoki
Hey, hey, post some fucking thing!

Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty snubbed for a Deku Shrub

He needs some Ideas, not just any will debate
But LeBlanc wasn't there so he fought MRH
Now typin on da forums, he sees Ves and Chub
But if he looks twice, they're gonna Kill dat Deku Shrub!!

So don't debate, post it straight
You know he really doesn't get "it" anyway
Gonna type some shit, you know it
For you know it, for you know it
So if you don't break, you can compensate
And type about Ves and LeBlanc
The world needs Usoki
Hey, hey, post some fucking thing


Now he's starting on DEP yeah, he's getting iit done
He knocked him for his dreams, but he got shot in da bum.
Friends say he's trying too hard and he's not quite hip
But in his own mind he's the, he's the dopest trip

Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty Snubbed for a Deku Shrub!

One, two, three, four, five, five, six

So don't debate, post it straight
You know he really doesn't get "it" anyway
Gonna type some shit, you know it
For you know it, for you know it
So if you don't break, you can compensate
And type about Ves and LeBlanc
The world needs Usoki
The world loves Usoki
Let's get some more Usoki!
Hey, hey, Post some fucking thing!!

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Y.O.D.A. is freaking awesome. How long have you been writing these?! I missed them... excellent work. Proof of your genius. Definitely awesome, you should keep it up.

[Leblanc4prez]

Ahhh, thanks kate. My brain is a bit empty at the moment... Anyone else got a parody? or even an origional, all new, work?