Started a new novel

[donteatpoop]

It's called High Score.

It's still very much in the early stages of development, but most of it is pretty clear in my head.

The first few pages can be found here (http://www.infinite-story.com/story/3807/) if anyone is bored/interested.

[Vesnic]

I was wondering why you'd been so quiet around here lately.

I'll be sure to check it out soon, Poop.

[Locke]

So, what of "Untitled" and "Of Stones and Stars"?

[End Master]

I was wondering about those too.

It's weird since I did a really short CYOA called High Score once. (Totally different though)

Are you still working on Foresight?

[donteatpoop]

Of Stones and Stars is on the back burner a bit, Forsight is still in the fridge, and Untitled Novel is on the counter spoiling.

[donteatpoop]

DEP, I pity you.

I'm glad I don't have to answer for all the crap I've started and left to rot. (It's a lot, for those who don't know.)

It's because people actually like the stuff I started.

You wouldn't understand.

[Usoki]

It's because people actually like the stuff I started.

You wouldn't understand.

Zing! So true. How many one-room fragments do you have?

It's an interesting start, DEP. Not only am I totally clueless as to the title's significance, I have no idea what will happen next. I can't even tell if Joel is going to turn out being magical in someway. Half of your stories are grounded in farce-reality, and half are grounded in supernatural-reality. Were it not for the tone of the work, I could totally see the nice woman getting hit by a roller coaster just for wearing a cursed costume.

[donteatpoop]

It's an interesting start, DEP. Not only am I totally clueless as to the title's significance, I have no idea what will happen next. I can't even tell if Joel is going to turn out being magical in someway. Half of your stories are grounded in farce-reality, and half are grounded in supernatural-reality. Were it not for the tone of the work, I could totally see the nice woman getting hit by a roller coaster just for wearing a cursed costume.

My blog (http://donteatpoop.blogspot.com) has a few more details on what is to come, if you're bored/interested. The ideas are rather scattered on there, but the basics are there. And yeah, there's that underlying strange-magic thing going on in this one.

[Usoki]

That sounds awesome. I have no idea how you'd conclude it, but it's a very intriguing plot device.

[donteatpoop]

Thanks. I'm hoping that the ending will come to me as I reach that point and build the characters more. I tend to get direction for the ending as I get closer to writing the ending.

[apotheosis]

Good luck DEP, this whole novel thing is much more difficult than I anticipated.

[Usoki]

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

[donteatpoop]

Indeed I wouldn't.


(People love what I write.)

I'm not sure what's worse, that it took you two days to come up with a come-back, or that that was your comeback.

[donteatpoop]

It may shock you to find this out, DEP, but I don't actually spend every waking moment on here.

Crazy, right?

So many sinks to pee in, so little time...

[donteatpoop]

That you pee no longer in sinks has little impact on your chances of living it down.

[donteatpoop]

I've been off and on on this, but it's also been the ONLY thing I've been writing.... I've had to do some "research" with the actual Galaga game lately....

What do you think of the mood of the story so far? How is it? Do you find it difficult to read through?

I know that I need to describe the game play, and have; but I don't want to bore the reader with video game details. How am I doing on that?

I also need to work in an additional plot line or two. One plot will be easy, the next laundromat visit there will be an attractive female and thus a 'romantic' sub-plot, though it will be a minor subplot.

I don't want to write any scenes that take place outside of the laundromat, however; so any additional info will likely be the character in thought, or some flashbacks... Not really sure... Any ideas?

I appreciate any feedback, even negative feedback that I will likely get defensive about.

High Score (http://www.infinite-story.com/story/3807/)

Thanks in advance to any of you who take the time to check this out.

[End Master]

The game details were fine, you pretty much got it all out of the way so you won't really need to elaborate too much more on it in the future and you can concentrate on other things.

There's sufficient colorful description about the laundromat, so that's good

Does directly outside the laundromat count? You'd still be in the same vicinity.

For additional info, I'd go with whatever is appropriate at the time. If its minor piece dealing with just that character, you can easily make the character explain something in an amusing anecdotical way if he's talking to someone else in the laundromat.

Or if he's by himself you could just do something like: "John thought about the first and last time he went fishing. It was a horrible experience since a mutant Sharkalope attacked him. Sometimes the sounds of the water in the machine made him think of that dark day."

If it's a little more complex than those where the character would be having long conversations or interaction with one or more people in the past, then you could go with a flashback.

[Locke]

Actually, I think the game segment ran a bit long. It'd be better as a few lines here and there throughout the story, usually present but mentioned in smaller blocks of text, interspersed with dialogue and so forth - more like a backdrop against which your story is set, rather than the singular focus of the story. As it's a novel, I think the laundromat could play a significant part, but including other scenes - apartment/dorm, school/work - would make it a better story as the character adapts to the city. Flashbacks in that vein would work, I suppose.

If you are intent on keeping it laundromat-only though, I agree with End that outside the laundromat is fine, particularly if your character smokes; there's bound to be a group of smokers, some of whom have nothing to do with laundry, out there. Then again, the story has kind of an eighties feel, so smoking could conceivable occur indoors. Also, I hope this guy gets some friends and maybe a babe during the course of the story.