Can someone help me?

[fredika700]

I have written many stories on different subjects and I would like to share these with other people so that I can expand and develop my skills on writing. I don’t have much experience in this but its my passion, because for me writing is a dream which elevates me to the peak of the mountain and then brings me down to the deep depths of the valley, it’s like a adventure where I have just started to explore and I know someday I will reach there. Can someone help me? Thanks!

[Vesnic]

Help you with what, exactly? Climbing mountains and valleys? I'd suggest a sturdy set of hiking poles and maybe Some Gore-Tex apparel. My ex-boyfriend swore by his Gore-Tex hiking shoes. Then he strung himself up from a tree, maybe with his GORE-TEX shoelaces. But we probably don't live near you, so I'd suggest your closest sporting goods store. That'll do 'er.

[Locke]

On a more serious note, if you've come here to do something with your stories, you might try posting one in the forum or (as the community is built around a distinct form) writing one in the more usual IS format on the main page. I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for with your writing, but chances are if it involves those who frequent this site, posting some of your work will in one way or another be involved. Welcome, by the way. You'll probably see people saying some moderately offensive things here now and again. Try not to take it to heart; it's meant mostly in good fun. Happy posting.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Don't listen to Vesnic. She doesn't have a boyfriend.

Sometimes I print my work and then throw it at it people in the grocery store. They cry and I run. It's all part of the creative process. Although I have a chimpanzee I keep locked in a room with a single typewriter that does most of MY stuff. We're still having plot-hole problems and a few spelling and grammar issues, but 'Bobo', as I affectionately call the savage ape, puts out some pretty decent material.

Here's a sample:

UWadhl, I, banana...RSAASAWWWW!!! Poop. Bananakwl....banana.

"Banana," sdrtwyth shosurts. "asji banana poop."

As you can see, we still have some refining to do! :D

That silly ape! Now if I could just train him to quit flinging his feces at my girlfriend! Hope that helped, fredika.

And remember, writing is a lot like taking a crap: If you keep your sphincter clenched tight then the crap just wont come out. Toodles

[upikasha]

Passion is the source of energy and willingness to make the things go on the path you want. I have myself not being a good writer but recently I have joined a community which is making things happen. Here we write stories which go through a submission period (http://www.endofthisworld.com/) and are ranked by amateurs and professionals which help us to know a layman’s view as well as a master’s view on the subject. Later, the best is submitted to a large directory which is a collection of chapters. In this way it helps us to polish our skills and make the best come out. I would certainly advice you to make a presence here as your mountains and valleys will be met at a single place.

[Vesnic]

Don't listen to Vesnic. She doesn't have a boyfriend.

You really are getting stupid in your old age. Are you illiterate or something? If you'd read my post, you'd have seen that I said it was my ex-boyfriend, and that he's dead now. Have you ever had someone close to you commit suicide? I make jokes about it because it's all that's left to do. We're all just kidding, right?

And you, Upittykasha, it's not appropriate to pimp out your site on our site. We don't even know you yet. Keep it up and you'll get your ass banned real fast.

Is it just my impression or is this place really swirling its way down the crapper?

[Dragavan]

Is it just my impression or is this place really swirling its way down the crapper?

It's you... this place, like all places, goes through cycles. This is the same as several other such cycles I have seen this place go through in my long run hanging out here. Things will go this way a while and either some old members will suddenly start getting real active again and perk things up or a group of new members will join that brings everything back again too... just like the wave of people that you are part of that helped bring things out of a slump the site was in... I don't think these shiny new forums are going to change these cycles, as they weren't caused by the old integrated forums but the people who frequent here.

As for Chubby... he's always been that way and doesn't really mean anything by it. Don't worry, he'll change the posting and replace it with nonsense soon enough.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

You really are getting stupid in your old age. Are you illiterate or something? If you'd read my post, you'd have seen that I said it was my ex-boyfriend, and that he's dead now. Have you ever had someone close to you commit suicide? I make jokes about it because it's all that's left to do. We're all just kidding, right?

And you, Upittykasha, it's not appropriate to pimp out your site on our site. We don't even know you yet. Keep it up and you'll get your ass banned real fast.

Is it just my impression or is this place really swirling its way down the crapper?


Correction #1: I have always been stupid. Old age has nothing to do with it.

Correction #2: I meant 'doesn't have a boyfriend' in the broadest sense. Implying you never had nor will you ever have a boyfriend. As in 'haha calm the fuck down you hormonal spaz'

And by hormonal spaz I mean 'brilliant young lady'.

So some guy you were involved with offed himself. That sucks. And this is my fault because....?

*crickets chirp*

You know, if you folks can't grow some thicker skin I don't see what the point is. Quit taking things so seriously. If anyone has any honest emotional problems they can PM me and I will provide what emotional support I can.

But anything posted on the forums is fair game. Christ, Ves. I know you're going through a hard time but if you REALLY have something serious you need to rant about just PM me or something.

Otherwise lighten up. Life is cruel. We all know this.

WELCOME TO THE SITE, upikasha!

*goes back to smoking crack*

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Help you with what, exactly? Climbing mountains and valleys? I'd suggest a sturdy set of hiking poles and maybe Some Gore-Tex apparel. My ex-boyfriend swore by his Gore-Tex hiking shoes. Then he strung himself up from a tree, maybe with his GORE-TEX shoelaces. But we probably don't live near you, so I'd suggest your closest sporting goods store. That'll do 'er.

Gore-tex, huh?

*takes some notes*

It's good to have options. Lots of options...

EDIT: Sorry for your loss, Ves. But if you are going to present personal matters in a tongue-in-cheek style then you have no right to be upset. It's not MY responsibility to decipher your intentions on a post to post basis.

[apotheosis]

Ignoring the insanity of the other posts, just make a thread and throw up some of your literary works. Expect critique, some good, some bad, most irrelevant, but overall it will be a growing experience. I also suggest you try making a story on the main site with a minimum of 20 rooms. If you already have or if you do, post a link.

[Vesnic]

Cut the shit, Chubby.

You're always telling people to chill out, yet you yourself get backed up when someone has the audacity to react to your constant verbal diarrhea. You seem to think you have a carte blanche to say whatever, whenever, and it's all just cute and funny. Yet I'm the one with a thin skin when I don't find it cute and funny? That's bullshit.

Your comment about my boyfriend was annoying because it showed you obviously hadn't read what I wrote. It didn't even make sense as a joke. You just have this way of steamrolling what people say to make way for your own showmanship. Bravo, my friend, fucking bravo!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

*Bows gracefully*

I aim to please, m'lady.

[End Master]

Can someone help me?

As you can see by the various responses, no, nobody can help you in any meaningful way.

But please, feel free to explore, we encourage such experimental behavior around here. Welcome to the site!

*Goes back on vacation*

[ChubbyTeletubby]

It aint hard.

I'm killing ol evil eye...

[apotheosis]

As you can see by the various responses, no, nobody can help you in any meaningful way.

But please, feel free to explore, we encourage such experimental behavior around here. Welcome to the site!

*Goes back on vacation*

Sad but true.

[Vesnic]

Dudes, what's going on? Someone tells me I got into a fight with Chubby last night. It's news to me.

And, new person, you can tell from looking at the work on the main site that the focus here is the choose-your-own-adventure format. Within that constraint, you can do pretty much anything. Learn from example. Check out a genre that interests you, or look at some of the most popular or highest-rated stories. I think you will find therein the answers to lots of questions you probably have. If, after perusing things thoroughly and maybe doing some of your own work, you still have a specific question, then we might be able to help you.

[donteatpoop]

Hey new person; if you legitimately need help with writing something you will need to post some details so that we can help. The vagueness of your initial request is what lead to the insanity of the responses you've recieved so far.

So post some details and we'll see where we can help, short of writing it for you of course. Assuming you ever log in, that is...

[Leblanc4prez]

If you want help with removing a brain-slug, Killing a Hypno-Toad or writing insane disjointed, retarede stories, I CAN HELP!

[Usoki]

Pssh. Fredika and Upikasha are the same person, taking a more personalized approach to spammy site advertisement.

[Leblanc4prez]

Kill them now! I must bathe in the blood of all Spam merchandisers! for more such rants visit me on *Sudenly gagged* MRGGHHGR!!