gojo345 is a fucktard.

[apotheosis]

Gojo345 gave Hall of Infinite Doors a rating of 1.

This was the message in his rating.

I rate this story as a 1. I do this because the writer of this story used a program to rack up hits for it. This can be seen by the rather huge difference between the hits from the first room to the second. Room1 hits=100,000 Room2 hits=3,000

This takes a really really small dick.



I sent him a personal message, which read:

I have put countless hours of work into Hall of Infinite Doors and am not responsible for the surge of hits to the first page. I am aware that someone did this but have no way of ascertaining who it was. It all occurred over the course of one night and I believe someone used a coding flaw in the site to refresh it remotely. There was really nothing I could do, my story had enough hits without that flaw.

I had nothing to do with that petty tactic of statistic raising, and don't appreciate your accusations and remarks.

Go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,

HOID Administration

PS: I have a huge dick.





I don't know who added all the hits to Hall of Infinite Door's first page, but it was an unnecessary waste of bandwidth and gave salad tossers like Gojo a reason to bitch. Whoever did it, please don't do it again, your not doing the story any favors.

[donteatpoop]

PS: I have a huge dick.



The hit count should have had nothing to do with the readers assessment of the story anyway.

But apoth, there was no reason to lie to him (see quote).

[apotheosis]

Very funny. I have honestly had one girl say it was too big. Trust me, I am being completely honest.

[donteatpoop]

Very funny. I have honestly had one girl say it was too big. Trust me, I am being completely honest.

Was that one girl less than ten years of age? Was this one of drums' child sex robots?

[Vesnic]

I'm not touching this one with an eight and a half inch pole.

[apotheosis]

Nuff said.

[apotheosis]

"...You didn't do it yourself huh... someone else out of the clear blue sky decided to rack up hits for your story.
They didn't do it for any other story just yours.

Anyone who doesn't know you is not going to care enough about you to rack up hits for your story. Don't think so highly of yourself.

If it wasn't you, then it was a friend.

If it was a friend then you didn't have enough guts to do it yourself.

Therefore you do have a needle dick."



My Mature Response:

I didn't do it and have no knowledge of who did do it. I went as far as to question all of my friends on the site. I'm tired of your groundless accusations. I worked really hard on that story and would have no need to fuck around with the statistics.

Oh, and last night... when I blew my load while I was fucking your mother up the ass she coughed up a pink mixture of semen and blood. Looked sorta like pepto-bismol.

[End Master]

Sounds like you've made a new friend. Be sure to keep us updated if anything else happens.

And you can at least be glad that he at least didn't just say "Furries" in the comment section.

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Oh, and last night... when I blew my load while I was fucking your mother up the ass she coughed up a pink mixture of semen and blood. Looked sorta like pepto-bismol.

That's nice. I like the pepto bismol description, I mean. Originally I was picturing a more watery mixture of blood and cum. I'm so glad you cleared it up. I just hope for your sake that you wore a condom... because that blood might not have been the result of rough lovin' Ebola is on the loose again in the Congo you know.

[apotheosis]

They should use my description of that in English classes as a perfect example of descriptive language and imagery.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Sadly, my dear Apoth, you remind me of some of my "friends".

You must be what...17?

Word to the wise. No one wants to know ANYTHING about your pathetic genitalia.

We don't care whether or not that pesky rash that JUST wont go away on your ballsack is really AIDs or not (although it probably IS infected - you might want to get it checked out).

We really don't care if you let you put braids in your pubic hair or just shave it all off and end with little red marks everywhere because you didn't moisturize properly.

And those of us with long dongs don't go around announcing it like it's the day's top news.

It's like a game of poker, my friend. Keep it to yourself until the time when it REALLY matters.

Fucking pathetic.

You have much to learn.

I, myself, would have a 13 incher if it weren't for the fact that it's so damn crooked it's actually tied itself into one of those oh so complicated boy scout knots I was never able to master.

I think it's due to over-vigorous masturbation during my pre-teens.:(

Oh well. The strap-on I spent $300 dollars on seems to do the trick. And at least I know I'll never have to worry about impregnating one of these stupid crack-hos I mess around with.

What were we talking about? Doors? NO MORE LOCKED DOORS!

Get a webcam and hit up myspace. Just leave us out of it.

[donteatpoop]

I think it's due to over-vigorous masturbation during my pre-teens.


I heard you have a dick with a bicycle grip.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Wrong.

But I do use stunt sperm, just like all the porno stars do. The bicycle grip is actually attatched to my highly irregular scrotum. It helps my mom out a lot when she's massaging my no-no's.

No more sore wrists for her!

My God humanity is pathetic.

[apotheosis]

It's good to have you back Chubby.

[TheKoolAidGuy]

I keep mine tucked into my sock.

[End Master]

This thread reminds me of a little song...

OHHHHHHH…

Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing back and fro?
Can you tie ‘em in a knot?
Can you tie ‘em in a bow?

Can you throw ‘em over your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

Now one for the ladies!

OHHHHHHH…

Do your tits hang low?
Do they swing back and fro?
Do you itch ‘em when they’re hot?
Do you fondle what you’ve got?

Do they wobble when you walk?
Do they jiggle when you talk?
Do your tits hang low?


Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience. Good night.

[donteatpoop]

I keep mine tucked into my sock.

Is it your vasoline sock?

[End Master]

Now THAT reminds me of a funny story…

My Dad knew a guy called Louie who was friends with someone in my Dad’s band.

Anyway Louie bafflingly admitted to everyone that he jerked off in socks, preferably with dirty ones so they would get washed when his Mom did the laundry. He apparently did this A LOT.

I should point out this guy was in his 30s.

Eventually he moved out of his parent’s basement and got married.

Then a couple years later he told a story of how he accidentally shit the bed and his wife had to clean it up.

[Locke]

That is possibly one of the saddest things I've heard all month - and that's saying something, since I've been frequenting this forum. But there's still time, people. We're only halfway through September, after all; I have no doubt one of you will have something worse to say before this time next week. I'd say I have faith this turn of events will come to pass, but having faith in stories as ridiculously disgusting as the ones I get here frankly strikes me as revolting, so let's just say I think the odds are good and I'd put money on it.

You aren't even trying with this thread, though; that's almost sad in and of itself. From time to time with a chuckle and a vague sort of grimace I still remember End's story about the two gay guys and his friend, who had to share a room with them. This new one about Louie comes close, but I'm sure you can all do better...

[apotheosis]

Poor Louie, what a pathetic excuse for a human being. I did a power hour tonight, but I had bonus shots every other minute and a couple beers after the power hour was over. I had a good amount. It was fun.

I reorganized my priorities. I realized I go for the wrong types of girls and I should work harder academically and go after nicer girls.

[Vesnic]

Yeah, Apoth, you probably should go for nice girls. After all, there's always a need for counterbalance in a relationship. :p

[apotheosis]

I had half a handle of vodka tonight. My JA got mad that I was having so much and cut me off again. This is quickly becoming a trend. I drink a lot. And I love you all. Goodnight.