Tales from our collective past

[donteatpoop]

Um. No? As someone who has been intimately involved with the criminal justice system I can tell you that assaulting a police officer will land you years in jail, not months. Assault on a public servant is a GRIEVOUS crime whether weapons are involved or not. Your friends are full of shit, my man.

Nice story. But impossible. Just trust me on this one. I KNOW.

I think you're ignoring the people who do this shit who have parents in high official places. His dad was a mayor or someshit of a nearby small city.

Yeah, mushrooms are awesome except when they make people go batshit insane with fear and throw up their guts all over everything. But I'm not speaking from experience, just what happened to a friend of a friend. Some people hate losing control and logic. That's my idea of heaven.

There's a thing called moderation that so many people fail to adhere to. You won't throw up if you eat in moderation. I have tripped out on shrooms so many fucking times and never thrown up once. Why? Because I don't eat the whole eighth, I would split it up and have two or three trips.

You don't throw up on alcohol and get hedaches if you don't drink too much. You don't get the jitters if you don't drink too much caffiene. You don't get upset stomachs and big poopies if you don't smoke too much tobacco. You don't get fat if you don't eat too much, and you don't get sleepy if you don't smoke too much grass.

If people would just take control of their ingestion, they wouldn't have these problems.

[donteatpoop]

Say, between you two 'shroom eatin' mofos (Chubby/DEP), what would the amount of mushrooms that the guy ate in Super Troopers have been called?

He definately would have been tripping his balls off, however; he would also be vomiting a lot.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

The most I ever ate was a quarter bag. That was entirely too much and indeed I ended up vomiting. I also experienced the most INTENSE ten seconds of my life where I really felt like I was going at the speed of light into outermost depths of the universe.

Different people react in different ways, though. So it's hard to say. I've seen people freak out like that dude in Super Troopers before on just one hit of acid and it's a riot. I generally have a high tolerance to psychoactive 'drugs' so I can't say I've really ever FLIPPED out. well. Yes I have. lol

I'd say for starters maybe eat like 1/3 of an eighth and see what that does. Mushrooms vary in potency from batch to batch. You should probably do it either alone or with someone you trust in case you start FLIPPING OUT, DUDE.

[donteatpoop]

mushrooms.

Another story on mushrooms.

The wife and I (before we were 'the wife and I') went to a party at a freinds cabin out on a nearby lake. It was a forty-five minute drive or so.

The party was primarily a bunch of straight-edge people. Not real 'straigh-edgers', mind you; instead it was the straight-edge crowd who doesn't feel it's being hypocritical to drink a bunch of alcohol while snubbing your nose at a little dope.

So anyway, somehow one of them had a mushroom hookup. They were chocolate bars that had the shrooms inside. I was skeptical from the get-go, but a few friends decided to buy them and I figured 'what the hell'. Supposedly there was an eighth in each chocolate bar. Whatever, I bought one to split with the wife.

Everyone was splitting theirs, no one took the whole eight. Everyone cut theirs in half, but me and the old lady just broke it in half, and she gave me the bigger half. I ate my half and after a few bites she gave me hers. Don't know why she even bit it if she was only gonna take a few bites, but anyway I ate it.

Hours passed. No one was tripping. No one. We were all bitching about getting ripped off, the kid who sold them left about half an hour after selling his wares. Everyone was pissed. Everyone except me, that is; I refuse to let minor setbacks ruin a good time. So I'm out thirty bucks, oh well; give me another beer.

Anyway, another hour or two passes and no one is tripping and we decide to leave as it is getting late.

Half an hour into the ride home I start to get that happy feeling in my stomach and I just start smiling like an idiot. It was a few minutes later when I began tripping balls. I couldn't sit still, I couldn't stop talking, and while talking I couldn't manage to say anything sensable.

"I am tripping my balls off," I said to the lady, leaning close and whispering loudly.

When we got home I fucked her crazy; the hard-on lasted forever. She came like four times and told me that we had to stop because she just couldn't take it anymore. So I pulled out and she sucked on it and pulled on it, but to no avail. It felt great, let me tell you; but no goo spurted forth.

Eventually we gave up and I laid there staring at the cieling while my pecker held up the blanket like a fucking tent pole. I giggled and marveled at the shifting colors that played across the cieling.

The next day I spoke to a few friends, and apparently no one tripped at all. Except me. And no one believed that I did, except my wife who was unable to walk properly...

I wish I could get another boner like that. The thing was awesome.

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

My step brother used to love shrooms. He probably still does, even though they ruined his life. He got busted at college with them and he was there on a full ride scholarship. He was brilliant, and now he works at a bead shop. Now that's a good story!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

How can you outlaw something that grows naturally?

Sorry to hear about that, Katie. But you can't really say one thing like that 'ruins' someones life. You can still be successful without a college degree.

My brother never went to college and he makes a killing with his pool cleaning business in California.

EDIT: Oh and I tried one of those shroom chocolate bars and it didn't do anything for me either. But sex on shrooms or ecstacy is amazing!!!

Cocaine turns my outie into an inny, though. It DOES get the females horny, however.

[Vesnic]

I want sex on shrooms! I want sex on shrooms!

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Yeah, Chubs, I know you are right. However, the fact remains that instead of setting aside his drugs and reserving them for recreation, he moved to a hippie town and took up beading. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Ves... Chubby... you two need sex. Since both of you need it, I'd like to propose an arranged fucking. Like an arranged marriage... you may not be a love match, but you could be a fuck-match, and wouldn't that be nice? It's kind of romantic, and I still have that happy after Valentine's day feeling.

[donteatpoop]

Ves... Chubby... you two need sex. Since both of you need it, I'd like to propose an arranged fucking. Like an arranged marriage... you may not be a love match, but you could be a fuck-match, and wouldn't that be nice?

I agree.

So... Are you two gonna need a hook-up for the shrooms?

[Vesnic]

Yeah, definitely someone we can trust because I don't think Chubby would appreciate it if I ate some rancid shrooms and regurgitated all over his quivering body.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Well. I got a hook up on spores but not actual shrooms. Youngstown is less than a days drive from Louisville. Probably less than 8 hours actually.

How about I drive up to Youngstown, get the shrooms. Then have sex with your mom while THINKING of Ves.

I think it could work out!

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Chubs... you could have sex with my mom, but then Ves would be unsatisfied. Do you want to do that to a nice pretty girl that wants you for more than your shrooms?

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Oh, I got a shroom for her, alright.

But I really WOULD feel more comfortable if she was on a mix of pain pills/alcohol/and hallucinogenics while we made a baby.

Maybe I could just masturbate into a vial and send it to Boston and she can just send some shoes and panties and it'll all be settled.

[Vesnic]

Why are you rejecting me, Chubby? WHY?!

I am going to throw myself into the Ganges if this continues.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

WHAT!? I just SAID I'd jack off into a vial for you!

What more do you want!? WOMEN! They're so demanding!

Seriously though I'll send you my mailing address. Send me some panties, preferably LIGHTLY used but UNWASHED.

Thanks, doll.