Hall of SHAME 4: The SHAME that wouldn't DIE!

[Vesnic]

Yeah, thanks for that. I am not currently the proud owner of a smart phone because I think it's a terrific waste of money, especially for an obvious Luddite like me. All the same, I had actually heard of Wikipedia at some point or other. I think I must have been at the Elder Hostel meeting when one of these whizz-bang 50-year-old kids came in to tell us all about the computers and the internets and the things. That was a remarkable day.

I think maybe I was just looking forward to your doubtless witty and personally tailored recounting of the series. That was my primary purpose in asking a human being a question which could just as easily have been answered by the computers. Did you know a lady in England recently called it quits with the help of Swiss assisted-suicide organization Dignitas because she found technology just too damn depressing and people just too damn detached? Oh merciful heavens! The nice man with the glasses and the wires and the things has just told me this information is also on the internets but I don't know how to write things in blue the way you do so I guess you'll have to find it yourself. So sorry.

[mizal]

I'm sorry I haven't been able to write witty things lately, I'm posting from my smart phone you see and so I have to keep it short. (Also I avoid human interaction whenever possible because it's terrifying, and having long conversations on an internet forum definitely counts, I think.)

And that thing about the English lady sounds kind of sad and also pretty crazy, are they letting crazy people have assisted suicides now?

But anyway here is a link explaining how to do blue text. (again, sorry, but links are the only way I know how to communicate) Please try not to be overwhelmed by my dazzling technowizardry, I am human just like you! though if it's all too much and you decide to kill yourself I hear there are people who can help.

[Locke]

Also I avoid human interaction whenever possible because it's terrifying, and having long conversations on an internet forum definitely counts, I think.

Seems like you trade the anxiety of being on the spot for perfectionism, and trying to add nuance without tone or inflection (sarcasm doesn't always translate that well). And if you put a foot wrong somewhere, you lose the instant feedback of conversation and the ability to redirect it. I can empathize, but I don't think it's that different from creative writing (at least if you let others read your work). I get more of that if I'm trying to be "witty" - I've probably scrapped half of my posts before or just after posting. And it makes no sense to build things up like that, but I think if you identify as a "writer," it comes through at some point.

I'm posting from my smart phone you see and so I have to keep it short.

wait, we're supposed to completely forgive all of your faults because you're using a cell phone, that's right. Gosh, if only someone could invent some sort of personal computational device capable of connecting to the internet that you might be able to use. Maybe it could have a 'keyboard' and a 'monitor', that'd be cool.

I have to side with Ves. I'm not a fan of cell phone culture, either, sorry. I get the convenience - it's just everything else that seems to come with it. My phone calls/texts with ease, and that's all I ask of it. My only complaint comes when smart phone users decide to text me,

and every phrase is

a separate text message

like this

so I get a barrage of incoming texts while I'm still trying to read the first one. I did some business with a serial texter (a Russian, which did nothing for the communication issue), and he refused to call; it was text messages all the way. He was insecure about every aspect of the project, and kept filling my inbox with his concerns.

If I didn't respond right away, his anxiety got the better of him, and he'd start texting faster. When my inbox filled up, whole segments of the conversation disappeared. I simply wasn't receiving them. I kept trying to tell him to slow down, but before I could get a message out, another notification popped up, reminding me that my inbox was full, and I'd missed something else. He more or less went off the rails if that happened.

The Russian was putting up the money - so he couldn't be ignored - but he was always too busy to take a call or show up in person. We figured it out at some point, but it was still annoying.

[donteatpoop]

As a moderator I can verify that Locke's estimates of the amount of posts he scraps entirely are far more than the 'half' he claims. In fact, of the last five posts I see in this thread, all are Locke's and only one survived his deletion frenzy.

... of course, when he realizes that he sided with Ves in a comment that wasn't made by her; we'll probably 5/5.

[Vesnic]

... of course, when he realizes that he sided with Ves in a comment that wasn't made by her; we'll probably 5/5.

Erm, beg pardon?:

Yeah, thanks for that. I am not currently the proud owner of a smart phone because I think it's a terrific waste of money...

I have to side with Ves. I'm not a fan of cell phone culture, either, sorry.

As to Locke's manic deletion of posts, I have also seen it on occasions when he's been the only other one on and I've been bored and checking for new messages rather frequently, whereupon I've noticed the Amazing Disappearing Post. I wasn't about to out him for it, but I don't understand it. It's not like he ever just lets loose and says something completely wild and regrettable which will make him groan the next morning onto his drool-encrusted pillow before reeling out of the tomato patch to "go delete that dreadful post". This is what makes the careers of other forum members so memorable, but Locke has his own style, namely extreme obsessive compulsion, so let's have some obsessive compassion for him and love the bugger anyway.

[donteatpoop]

Erm, beg pardon?:

Well alrighty then. Apparently I'm the moron here. LOL. I totally read that wrong.

As for phones though, I can probably one-up all of you. Not only do I not own a smart phone, I don't own a cell phone at all. Just a landline.

[Vesnic]

As for phones though, I can probably one-up all of you. Not only do I not own a smart phone, I don't own a cell phone at all. Just a landline.

That is truly impressive. I remember high-fiving a friend in like...2003 because we hadn't yet been pulled into the cell phone vortex. By the end of the year we both had one and were basically sucking cock for dimes. I mean that in the most figurative way possible. Hail to Admiral Analog!

[End Master]

I was half tempted to quote the last post he made (now deleted) which was a funny snipe at Mizal using another quote made by Usoki since I figured he'd delete it.

Yeah, never got why Locke constantly deletes his posts either since I've yet to read any that would warrant being "embarrassed" about. Unless he's afraid of offending someone, but that seems like a rather silly thing to worry about at this place.

EDIT: Whoops, looks like Locke did use that Usoki quote after all, he just condensed it all in one post. Hey he's getting better!

[Locke]

I enjoy the likes of Clark Ashton Smith, Neil Gaiman, GRRM and Patrick Rothfuss for much the same reason.

I'm not sure why I seized on this one (I think I confused it with DEP's Joe Abercrombie recommendation), but I'm reading "The Name of the Wind" and enjoying it. Here's the first page.

A Silence of Three Parts

IT WAS NIGHT AGAIN. The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts. The most obvious part was a hollow, echoing quiet, made by things that were lacking. If there had been a wind it would have sighed through the trees, set the inn's sign creaking on its hooks, and brushed the silence down the road like trailing autumn leaves. If there had been a crowd, even a handful of men inside the inn, they would have filled the silence with conversation and laughter, the clatter and clamor one expects from a drinking house during the dark hours of night. If there had been music .. . but no, of course there was no music. In fact there were none of these things, and so the silence remained.

Inside the Waystone a pair of men huddled at one corner of the bar. They drank with quiet determination, avoiding serious discussions of troubling news. In doing this they added a small, sullen silence to the larger, hollow one. It made an alloy of sorts, a counterpoint.

The third silence was not an easy thing to notice. If you listened for an hour, you might begin to feel it in the wooden floor underfoot and in the rough, splintering barrels behind the bar. It was in the weight of the black stone hearth that held the heat of a long dead fire. It was in the slow back and forth of a white linen cloth rubbing along the grain of the bar. And it was in the hands of the man who stood there, polishing a stretch of mahogany that already gleamed in the lamplight.

The man had true-red hair, red as flame. His eyes were dark and distant, and he moved with the subtle certainty that comes from knowing many things.

The Waystone was his, just as the third silence was his. This was appropriate, as it was the greatest silence of the three, wrapping the others inside itself. It was deep and wide as autumn's ending. It was heavy as a great river-smooth stone. It was the patient, cut-flower sound of a man who is waiting to die.

I want to point out this part.

If there had been a wind it would have sighed through the trees, set the inn's sign creaking on its hooks, and brushed the silence down the road like trailing autumn leaves.

There's a lot of that in the first book. I rarely come across it, and that kind of synaesthesia - or perspective, if you like - it makes a great read. I can forgive a lot of things if I see that in someone's writing.

His sword was pale and elegant. When it moved, it cut the air with a brittle sound. It reminded me of the quiet that settles on the coldest days in winter, when it hurts to breathe and everything is still.

If that's over the top for you, so be it.

So far, this strikes me as a little less friendly than Harry Potter, but it has so much more heart. I'm surprised there's such a disparity in terms of public recognition.

[dreamshell]

So far, this strikes me as a little less friendly than Harry Potter, but it has so much more heart. I'm surprised there's such a disparity in terms of public recognition.

Wait until Tarbean.

I think any decent fantasy reader has at least seen/heard his name by now, but he's certainly not J.K. Rowling popular, unfortunately. At least not in the States. According to the man himself, Rothfuss is pretty beloved in Spain. *shrug*

[JJJ-thebanisher]

Rothfuss is my favorite fantasy author. I fucking hate Patrick Rothfuss though. Why doesn't he just write the last goddamned book.

[dreamshell]

Rothfuss is my favorite fantasy author. I fucking hate Patrick Rothfuss though. Why doesn't he just write the last goddamned book.

Many a fan has said the same of GRRM. For my part, I have only now earned the 'right' to be an outraged, impatient dickbag, having just finished ADwD recently.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

Many a fan has said the same of GRRM. For my part, I have only now earned the 'right' to be an outraged, impatient dickbag, having just finished ADwD recently.

Honestly, I know 100% that I don't have the right to be impatient (or a dickhead), but for fucks sakes, do they have to go and write other things in between? Probably the most infuriating thing ever. I've been waiting for The Winds of Winter for so long

[Locke]

If you're looking for something gritty and satisfying I recommend Joe Abercombie.

Decided to give this a shot. A little over halfway through "The Blade Itself."

I like the characters, the prose is decent (not exceptional, but holds its own), and the story is entertaining. Seems like Abercrombie likes to take his time setting up (but there aren't any dull parts for all of that, so whatever). Nothing's really struck me yet, but it's a worthwhile read and very good for passing time, i.e. more or less what I was looking for.

[donteatpoop]

Decided to give this a shot. A little over halfway through "The Blade Itself."

I like the characters, the prose is decent (not exceptional, but holds its own), and the story is entertaining. Seems like Abercrombie likes to take his time setting up (but there aren't any dull parts for all of that, so whatever). Nothing's really struck me yet, but it's a worthwhile read and very good for passing time, i.e. more or less what I was looking for.

Glad you're liking it so far. I've only read one book from him (Best Served Cold) but it was an excellent read. A bit over-the-top in a part or two, but a good book none the less.