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Hello Honeys! Here are my ratings from the contest. I do so very much appreciate all of your feedback. I only wish I could have done something that would have appealed to more of you. I didn't realize how strongly some of you would object to a little light verse. Yet you all recognized how much work I put into my efforts here and for this I thank you. In the future I shall endeavor to be both more pleasing and more specific to my themes. A bear must always have room to learn and develop. Thank you for an excellent contest, friends. And a most hearty congratulation to our worthy winner, Mr. Donteatpoop!
Ballad of the Bear
Plot/Originality: 7
I love how the entire story was a poem. I've never seen that done on any story on this site, so kudos for originality. The plot however seemed a bit contrived and old fashioned to me. Didn't take any risks, especially for this years theme of Horror. Maybe if the theme was whimsical fancy or fairy tale, I'd give you a higher score. But horror was the last thing I felt from reading this story. Yours is a soft heart Mr. Bear and I love that about you. Such a gentle soul, it's almost refreshing that there is a lack of malice in anything I've read of yours. Don't ever change! We need more pontificators of peace in this world!
Writing Style: 10
The rhyme, the poetry was simply amazing. I could almost dance to your flowing lyrical narrative. It was quite inspiring. You have opened the door for other young cubs to write an infinite story in poetic prose. I honestly couldn't find any errors, but maybe that's because I was too busy being engrossed by your tale!
Theme: 7
Fetus of doom was a huuuuuge stretch in my opinion. Survival was definitely there with the gladiatorial combat, yet I never truly felt horror. This simply was not a spine tingling story. This was a heart warming story and I think I shed a single tear of joy when that poor bear was finally accepted for what he was and a friendship could blossom. Once again, if the theme wasn't horror this year I'd so give you a higher score. Alas, I dock you points due to your lack of evil. Pains me to do that, but you are no feral bear.
**Enjoyment: 10
This story had my own bear belly quivering with laughter. I loved this story. I loved your use of poetry, I loved the heart warming narrative, I loved the fairy tale-esque atmosphere. Took me back to when I was a kid and my Mom would read me stories about noble beasts who dwell in magical forests. Some of your lines I kept repeating because I enjoyed them so much. “The archers stand taut
The marshal’s mouth gapes Fishwives forget gossip Fools forget japes”. For some reason that one is my favorite. You really created quite the atmosphere for this story. I also appreciated the pictures you added. All of them made me burst out laughing. Props to you noble bear. Forever props.
BALLAD OF THE BEAR
Writing Style: 8
Plot/Creativity: 7
*Enjoyment*: 10
Theme: 4
I did feel this was a really unique idea, to tell the whole story in verse. Unfortunately, I don't tend to enjoy reading poems as much... but it was really well-written and I have a lot of respect for the fact that the creator was able to keep to the rhyming scheme. I didn't think that the themes were really that utilised - at least apart from the survival one. At the same time, there were parts, even in the verses, that did come across as quite emotional. It didn't quite follow the usual style of an infinite story... but it was definitely a unique idea. The lower score on the enjoyment factor is down more to personal taste. I also thought that good use was made of pictures.
For Ballad of the Bear by Bear Bipolar-Bear
(*Weighted) Plot and Originality—(10): Wow! I am really impressed, and as my friends can tell you, impressing me is no mean feat. I never imagined someone would one day actually write an entire story in verse, but this remarkable bear has done just that. I can’t imagine how challenging it must have been to write a lyric story, a CYOA no less, and still convey such a strong sense of plot. I found myself swept up in this charming little morality tale. Bravo!
Theme—(6): I understand that the birth of the young bear is the “fetus of doom” and I’m not really a stickler for taking the themes over-literally. The only thing I really thought was missing was the horror element. There is certainly some dread and then a lot of adventure, but nothing that really scared me silly. Perhaps further development would have allowed a truly harrowing situation to arise. Well done all the same though, Bear.
Style and Grammar—(9): This bear could give me a run for my money in the grammar Nazi department. I have nothing to nitpick here, especially since his choice to use various poetic forms exonerated him from many of the grammar rules of prose writing. As far as style goes, I think the bear is an excellent poet, with some lovely turns of phrase. The only thing I’ll say is that I found a line or two perhaps a bit too starkly painted. Then again maybe I’m just not used to the form anymore, since I haven’t been reading a lot of poetry lately. I should really do something about that.
Enjoyment—(9): The inventiveness, originality and sheer brevity of this neat little story made it a very enjoyable read…indeed! (Oh God, I hope she doesn’t start!)
Ballad of the Bear – BearBipolarBear
Writing Style – 7: An entire story in verse. It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s a bold move to be sure. I will admit that I struggled through reading it all, I find verse to be easier to digest when it rhymes with regularity. That’s a problem with me, the reader, not the writer. So I tried to keep that in mind. However, I feel very strongly that the verse approach soft-balled the horror theme.
Plot/Creativity – 8.5: Alright, so verse aside, the plot itself kind of hit me with a case of the meh’s.
Enjoyment – 6.5: This was pretty linear in almost all aspects. Even straight in the beginning: “Friend or foe?” Foe = the end. This was I think on page 2. In addition, I felt that this was more of a bromance (bearmance, perhaps) than a horror story. A good horror story doesn’t need to be scary necessarily, but at the very least it should be tense.
Theme – 7: As mentioned above in ‘writing style’ I feel that prose would have delivered a sense of horror with much greater effect. I also feel the ‘fetus of doom’ was more than a bit of a stretch.
Ballad of the Bear
Plot/Originality: 7
I love how the entire story was a poem. I've never seen that done on any story on this site, so kudos for originality. The plot however seemed a bit contrived and old fashioned to me. Didn't take any risks, especially for this years theme of Horror. Maybe if the theme was whimsical fancy or fairy tale, I'd give you a higher score. But horror was the last thing I felt from reading this story. Yours is a soft heart Mr. Bear and I love that about you. Such a gentle soul, it's almost refreshing that there is a lack of malice in anything I've read of yours. Don't ever change! We need more pontificators of peace in this world!
Writing Style: 10
The rhyme, the poetry was simply amazing. I could almost dance to your flowing lyrical narrative. It was quite inspiring. You have opened the door for other young cubs to write an infinite story in poetic prose. I honestly couldn't find any errors, but maybe that's because I was too busy being engrossed by your tale!
Theme: 7
Fetus of doom was a huuuuuge stretch in my opinion. Survival was definitely there with the gladiatorial combat, yet I never truly felt horror. This simply was not a spine tingling story. This was a heart warming story and I think I shed a single tear of joy when that poor bear was finally accepted for what he was and a friendship could blossom. Once again, if the theme wasn't horror this year I'd so give you a higher score. Alas, I dock you points due to your lack of evil. Pains me to do that, but you are no feral bear.
**Enjoyment: 10
This story had my own bear belly quivering with laughter. I loved this story. I loved your use of poetry, I loved the heart warming narrative, I loved the fairy tale-esque atmosphere. Took me back to when I was a kid and my Mom would read me stories about noble beasts who dwell in magical forests. Some of your lines I kept repeating because I enjoyed them so much. “The archers stand taut
The marshal’s mouth gapes Fishwives forget gossip Fools forget japes”. For some reason that one is my favorite. You really created quite the atmosphere for this story. I also appreciated the pictures you added. All of them made me burst out laughing. Props to you noble bear. Forever props.
BALLAD OF THE BEAR
Writing Style: 8
Plot/Creativity: 7
*Enjoyment*: 10
Theme: 4
I did feel this was a really unique idea, to tell the whole story in verse. Unfortunately, I don't tend to enjoy reading poems as much... but it was really well-written and I have a lot of respect for the fact that the creator was able to keep to the rhyming scheme. I didn't think that the themes were really that utilised - at least apart from the survival one. At the same time, there were parts, even in the verses, that did come across as quite emotional. It didn't quite follow the usual style of an infinite story... but it was definitely a unique idea. The lower score on the enjoyment factor is down more to personal taste. I also thought that good use was made of pictures.
For Ballad of the Bear by Bear Bipolar-Bear
(*Weighted) Plot and Originality—(10): Wow! I am really impressed, and as my friends can tell you, impressing me is no mean feat. I never imagined someone would one day actually write an entire story in verse, but this remarkable bear has done just that. I can’t imagine how challenging it must have been to write a lyric story, a CYOA no less, and still convey such a strong sense of plot. I found myself swept up in this charming little morality tale. Bravo!
Theme—(6): I understand that the birth of the young bear is the “fetus of doom” and I’m not really a stickler for taking the themes over-literally. The only thing I really thought was missing was the horror element. There is certainly some dread and then a lot of adventure, but nothing that really scared me silly. Perhaps further development would have allowed a truly harrowing situation to arise. Well done all the same though, Bear.
Style and Grammar—(9): This bear could give me a run for my money in the grammar Nazi department. I have nothing to nitpick here, especially since his choice to use various poetic forms exonerated him from many of the grammar rules of prose writing. As far as style goes, I think the bear is an excellent poet, with some lovely turns of phrase. The only thing I’ll say is that I found a line or two perhaps a bit too starkly painted. Then again maybe I’m just not used to the form anymore, since I haven’t been reading a lot of poetry lately. I should really do something about that.
Enjoyment—(9): The inventiveness, originality and sheer brevity of this neat little story made it a very enjoyable read…indeed! (Oh God, I hope she doesn’t start!)
Ballad of the Bear – BearBipolarBear
Writing Style – 7: An entire story in verse. It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s a bold move to be sure. I will admit that I struggled through reading it all, I find verse to be easier to digest when it rhymes with regularity. That’s a problem with me, the reader, not the writer. So I tried to keep that in mind. However, I feel very strongly that the verse approach soft-balled the horror theme.
Plot/Creativity – 8.5: Alright, so verse aside, the plot itself kind of hit me with a case of the meh’s.
Enjoyment – 6.5: This was pretty linear in almost all aspects. Even straight in the beginning: “Friend or foe?” Foe = the end. This was I think on page 2. In addition, I felt that this was more of a bromance (bearmance, perhaps) than a horror story. A good horror story doesn’t need to be scary necessarily, but at the very least it should be tense.
Theme – 7: As mentioned above in ‘writing style’ I feel that prose would have delivered a sense of horror with much greater effect. I also feel the ‘fetus of doom’ was more than a bit of a stretch.
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