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LeBlanc's Loony Lyrics

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  • LeBlanc's Loony Lyrics

    Hey, Just like I started in the Poetry thread. Take a song, change the lyrics.

    The Max Rebo Band
    sung to: Billy Joel's "The Pianoman"

    It's nine o'clock down at Jabba's place
    the regular crowd waddles in
    there's a weird thing sitting next to me
    it has three eyes and mottled grey skin.

    Fett says “Max can you play me a memory
    I'm not really sure how it goes
    but it's haunting and sweet and if you miss a beat
    this carbine will blow off your nose.”

    He said sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
    sing us a song tonight
    'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
    except Solo, who's in carbonite.

    La de de da, de de da
    La da de de da, da dum..

    Now Jabba the Hutt is a friend of mine
    he gives me my life for free
    And because he's a Hutt, why, we all kiss his butt
    or the rancor will have us for tea.

    He said "Bo Shuda, offom da Tukatti!"
    as he stuffed a frog into his face
    but we don't know a woid, 'cause he shot the talkdroid
    So we'll smile and nod, just in case.

    Oh, La de de da, de de da
    La da de de da, da dum..

    Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
    sing us a song tonight
    'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
    except Solo, who's in carbonite.

    Sy Snootles is our favourite vocalist
    her face it ain't launching no ships.
    Don't know why it behove her to go kiss a hoover
    but that's how she got those weird lips.

    A Gammorean guard is head butting bricks
    as another one gnaws on a bone
    and I don't know which has less intelligence
    either those two big thugs or the stone.

    Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
    sing us a song tonight
    'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
    except Solo, who's in carbonite.

    Oh, la da da da de de dah
    la da de de da dah dum..

    It's a pretty good crowd, here at Jabba's place
    it's a killing, that's why we're all here
    we'll sail over the dune to the pit of Carkoon
    and we'll toss someone in with a cheer.

    'Cause we gotta new droid on the pedestal
    and a man in black's come in the door
    he just pointed a gun over Salicious Crumb
    and then promptly sank through the floor.

    Oh, La de de da, de de da
    La da de de da, da dum..

    Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
    sing us a song tonight
    for the Jedi Skywalker is down below
    and the rancor is gripping him tight.
    OH FUDGE!

  • #2
    LeBlanc...I'm stunned! That was coherent! And canonically accurate, down to the very names! I wouldn't have guessed you to be capable of such wonders!
    Originally posted by Ryan_DuBois
    Usoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
    And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.

    Comment


    • #3
      Starwars is my Hobby. I want to go to Vegas and go to a convention. I made this a coulple years ago cause I was bored in class.
      OH FUDGE!

      Comment


      • #4
        My name is Chubby!
        Sung to: Emminem's My Name is

        [Chorus (2x):]
        Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
        My name is.. [scratches] Chubby Teletubby
        Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
        My name is.. [scratches] Chubby Teletubby

        Ahem.. excuse me!
        Can I have the attention of the forums for one second?


        Hi guys! Do you like drug addled violence? (Yeah!)
        Wanna see me get stoned on crack up to my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
        Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
        Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than LeBlanc's brainis? (Huh?)
        My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
        But I can't figure out which crack Ho I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
        And Psy said, "Chubby you're a sociopath!"
        Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Hey put down the gun man!"
        Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
        Cause I hung Shippo from the top bunk with a belt
        Got pissed off and ripped Serenity's tits off
        And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
        I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
        Faster than LeBlanc when he drank that metho too fast
        C'mere Suki! (Kurt: Chub, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
        I don't give a fuck, Severenz sent me to piss the world off!

        [Chorus]


        My dealerwanted to charge me $125
        Thanks a lot, next month my paycheck will be $35
        I smacked him in his face with an Whiskey bottle, chased him with a nine
        And shot of his nuts and threw them to a pitbull (Owwwwwwww!)
        Walked in the hospitallub, had my jacket zipped in
        Flashed the head nurse, then stuck my dick in the sharps bin
        Psy 'n me are extraterrestrials, running over pedestrians
        In a space ship while they screaming at us: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
        Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
        I just found out Shippo does more dope than I do (Damn!)
        I told him I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
        Make a record about doing drugs and name it after him (Oh thank you!)
        You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
        And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
        This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
        (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
        So I signed it: 'Dear MRH, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

        [Chorus]


        Stop the tape! This kid needs to be Lobotomised, right away! (Get him!)
        Psy, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
        I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)
        I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!)
        Am I coming or going? I can barely decide
        I just smoked a mighty joint-- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
        All my life I was very deprived
        I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!)
        Brain dead, like Shippo and Bulb (hachhh-too)
        I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
        When I was little I used to get so pissed I'd shoot things
        HOW YOU GONNA RUN NOW? (WAH!)
        I JUST SHOOT YOUR FUCKING Knees! (WAHHH!)
        I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
        Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
        I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)
        And by the way, when you see Shippo? (Yeah?)
        Tell him that I shot his ass, in this dream I had

        [Chorus]
        OH FUDGE!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Leblanc4prez View Post
          My dealer wanted to charge me $125
          Thanks a lot, next month my paycheck will be $35
          That was pretty good, my man. I like you, Leblanc. You make me laugh and I think you're a lot smarter than people give you credit for.

          Comment


          • #6
            My favorite part was putting on the bullet proof vest and then shooting yourself in the head. Yeah, it's always good to keep the coroner chuckling. Keep it up, Leb-o!
            Last edited by Vesnic; 10-07-2011, 06:39 AM.
            My sanity, my soul, or my life.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey anyone can put their songs here too ya know?
              OH FUDGE!

              Comment


              • #8
                Working... Snakes are awesome....

                And now for an OMEGA MOMENT

                Psyduck Killed Omega
                Sung to: The Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Star"

                I saw you on the Securi-cameras back in 2002
                Lying awake prepared and tuning my rifle.
                If I was prepared it might stop you coming through.


                Oh-a oh


                You took the credit for destruction of my world.
                Destroying all of my machines and new technology,
                and now I understand the problems Spectre could see.


                Oh-a oh

                I felt your presence
                Oh-a oh

                It stuck like resin.
                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.


                You came along came and broke my heart.
                Oh-a-a-a oh


                And now we meet in an abandoned power plant.
                We have a stand off and I reach for my gun.
                You went all psychic and then I was done.


                Oh-a oh


                You were the first one.
                Oh-a oh


                You were the last one.


                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.
                In my mind and in my heart, I need money to restart.
                Oh-a-aho oh,
                Oh-a-aho oh


                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.


                In my mind and in my heart, I need money to restart.
                You came along and broke my heart, I put the blame on You you fucking retard.


                You are a retard.
                You are a retard.
                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.
                Psy killed Omega corp.


                Psy killed Omega corp. . (You are a retard.)
                Last edited by Leblanc4prez; 02-10-2008, 07:32 PM.
                OH FUDGE!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Heh heh heh.... Pootie Tang....
                  OH FUDGE!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Welcome to the house of Guns
                    Sung to: Madness' Welcome to the house of Fun

                    Shippo: Good morning miss

                    Clerk: Can I help you son?

                    Shippo: Psy wants me, to buy some guns
                    Im a big boy now
                    Or so they say
                    So if youll serve
                    Ill be on my way

                    Box of grenades
                    With the bang-explody touch
                    Pack of tracer bullets
                    That trace in the night
                    A flamethrower and chainsaw
                    body armor
                    Anything really that can cause harm

                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Now I've come of age
                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Welcome to your death today
                    'cause Psy is on his way
                    Welcome to the house of

                    N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
                    You misunderstood
                    My best friend psy
                    needs some new weapons
                    Im up to date
                    And the dates today
                    So if youll serve
                    Ill be on my way

                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Now I've come of age
                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Welcome to your death today
                    'cause Psy is on his way
                    Welcome to the house of (Guns)

                    Clerk: Im sorry son
                    But we dont stock
                    Guns or ammo
                    In this shop
                    Try the house of guns
                    Its quicker if you run
                    This is a chemists
                    Not a gun shop!

                    Shippo:rifle ammo
                    Simple enough clear
                    Comprehende savvy understand
                    Do you hear?
                    A pack of rifle ammo
                    With the hollow tips
                    Too late!
                    Gorgon heard gossip

                    Serenity: Hello Shippo

                    Shippo: hello miss Serenity
                    Kurt the meowth is crazy ain't he?

                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Now I've come of age
                    Welcome to the house of guns
                    Welcome to your death today
                    'cause Psy is on his way
                    Welcome to the house of guns

                    Welcome to the house of guns...
                    OH FUDGE!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Still Don't Give a Fuck
                      Sung to Eminem's: Still don't give a fuck.

                      [LeBlanc]
                      A lot of people ask me.. am I really insane?..
                      Hell yeah I'm insane
                      I don't want to be sane
                      A lot of people think.. that I just pretend to be fucked up..
                      that I do all types of.. retarded shit
                      Look, I can't change the way I think
                      And I can't change the way I am
                      But if I offended you? Good
                      Cause I still don't give a fuck

                      I'm zonin off of one joint, typin' a post
                      Hopped in the window, eatin' som cold toast
                      A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
                      Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this
                      Livin amuk, never givin a fuck
                      Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck
                      But I post nonsence on my computer
                      I'll grab you by the balls and crush them with my scooter.
                      Come back the next week and ejaculate all over your computer (YEAH!)
                      A killer instinct runs in the blood
                      Emptyin forums and buryin the other posts in the mud
                      I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once into drugs
                      I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
                      My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn
                      The rest of my body's still bein operated on
                      I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm typin this shit
                      Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin and shit

                      [Chorus:]

                      For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you
                      To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
                      To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
                      But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS
                      For all the postts I've typed - yo I'm still gon' type
                      To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
                      For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past
                      But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS


                      I walked into a flame war, with intent to embarass you
                      And typed so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue
                      I'll hang you til you dangle and chain you with both ankles
                      And pull you apart from both angles
                      I wanna crush your skull til your brains leaks out of your veins
                      And the fuckin things become carpet stains
                      So tell Mrh not to bother with Typin another post to harm.
                      Cause I'm crushin the entire forum in my palm
                      Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a firearm
                      So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb
                      I'll buy chubb a new crack-pipe and some cocaine
                      So we can smoke till dawn ("Here Chub, try this one")
                      I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives,
                      a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives
                      (Shittin on rappers) Causin hospital accidents
                      God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again

                      [Chorus]


                      I wanted an post so rugged nobody could touch it
                      Spend a million a word and went over my budget (Ohh shit!)
                      Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?
                      I can't type anymore - I just murdered the alphabet
                      Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches
                      I'm withdrawn from zoloft so bad my blood itches
                      I don't type to get the women - fuck bitches
                      Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
                      Never ran with a click - I'm a posse
                      Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me
                      From the second I was done, Psy lost me
                      I'm a cross between Psy, Shippo and Ozzy
                      I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
                      My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
                      Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?
                      Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

                      [Chorus]
                      OH FUDGE!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I am the Fuckwit
                        Sung to: The Beatles' I am the walrus

                        I am wrong as you are right as you are me and we are all together.
                        See how they run like LeBlanc from a gun, see how they fly.
                        I'm crying.

                        Typin' up a post, waiting for the reply to come.
                        sittin' at my compy, stupid bloody tuesday.
                        "Man, you been a naughty boy, you type random stuff."
                        I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
                        I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob.

                        Mister city Endmaster sitting
                        Pretty little policemen in a row.
                        See how they type like Apoth in the sky, see how they run.
                        I'm crying, i'm crying.
                        I'm crying, i'm crying.

                        Stupid fucking Shippo, dripping from my dead, dead brain.
                        Crabalocker Bulba, pornographic psyduck,
                        "Boy, you been a naughty dude, your posts still suck."
                        I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
                        I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob.

                        Sitting at my big brown desk waiting for your posts.
                        If the posts don't come, I get the most
                        From typing even more shit.
                        I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
                        I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

                        Expert Ves and choking Chubby,
                        Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
                        See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
                        See how they type.
                        I'm crying.

                        I'm sick of random, gunna be sirious for once!
                        Elementary post typin, Staying on topic.
                        Man, you should have seen them kicking Michale Ray Holt.
                        I am the Fuckwit, I am the Fuckwit.
                        I am A Retard, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
                        Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.
                        OH FUDGE!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          That's...kinda depressing. You are nota fuckwit. You have had a lapse into annoyance, and the instant it was pointed out to you, you made a full 180 degree repentance. I'm not even remotely mad at you. I don't think I could be if I wanted to.

                          ...Still, I'm impressed with your ability to keep the words in perfect line with the melody.
                          Originally posted by Ryan_DuBois
                          Usoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
                          And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ah, I feel better... Want another Star Wars song?

                            This one is a joint effort between me and someone called Compubrains at a forum known as Tau-Online.


                            Y.O.D.A.
                            sung to: The Village People's "Y.M.C.A."

                            YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said
                            YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said
                            YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I
                            *MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*
                            YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am
                            WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you
                            GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say
                            *WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*

                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
                            He's 900 years old!
                            He's so strong in the Force!
                            Do your Jedi Diploma course!

                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            Come and get yourself clean!
                            Come and have a good meal!
                            Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!

                            YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into
                            SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this
                            TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got
                            *SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*
                            YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He is
                            COMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll be
                            HAVIN' this bright thing that ain't hot. It is
                            *MINE* *OR* *I'LL* *HELP* *YOU* *NOT*

                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
                            He's 900 years old!
                            He's so strong in the Force!
                            Do your Jedi Diploma course!

                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
                            Don't just stand in the rain!
                            You're all covered with mud!
                            come and sample my homemade crud!

                            OLD BEN, Are you listenin' to me? I can't
                            TRAIN HIM, he's so reckless you see! Like his
                            OLD MAN, he's so angry but brave! Betcha
                            *HE* *SCREWS* *UP* *AT* *THE* *CAVE*
                            YOUNG MAN, If you start will you end, or be
                            GOING, off to save all your friends? To be
                            TRAINING, needs commitment and work, if you
                            *WIMP* *OUT* *THEN* *YOU'RE* *A* *JERK*

                            You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
                            You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
                            You should stay here and train!
                            You don't have to save Han!
                            If you do so, you'll lose your hand!

                            You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A.
                            (repeat and fade).
                            OH FUDGE!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              This is the first time I have glanced at this thread, and holy shit have I been missing out. Fucking brilliant leblanc. The Star Wars ones stand out as my favorites; especially the first one with the line "we're all in the mood for a melody, except Solo whose in carbonite." Funny shit, man. Nice thread.
                              Last edited by donteatpoop; 02-17-2008, 03:36 PM.
                              The organ is grinding but the monkey won't dance.

                              Comment

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