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  • #31
    back from a not quite dead, but sort of comatose state, and 31 words added

    "Never eat tuna," she said to that poor sap of Nottingham. The reason behind her remark was a trio of PETA members had recently recruited her into their ranks. Suddenly, her head exploded for no reason. The mess it created was more than the poor Duke could handle. "Why did this curse come to Nottingham?" He asked with his head sunk deep into his massive hands.

    The men and women seated upon the long wooden tables jumped up in astonishment at the way that things had unfolded in front of them. "Who is next?" they all wondered, looking around.

    "Never eat tuna!" said Farmer McLeary, when he learned of the tragedy that had befallen his wife. "Those were her last nipples," he choked, foaming at the mouth. "Fondle the koala!" Then his head exploded, splattering the slaves of Nottingham, who had gathered to serve the tuna and scrub the mess before it stained the royal Peruvian throw rug. The slaves hurriedly performed their appointed duties before the Duke could become enraged.

    However, the Duke became enraged anyway and proceeded with the beatings until morale improved. Predictably, it didn't improve much. That little fact sure didn't keep the old rotten Duke from trying his all. All around the clock he had whipped his servants to work harder. This might have been more effective if half of the servants' heads hadn't blown up. The whipping and scrubbing continued through the night, but the soap was running out, and stains were setting in. A crazy witch announced that she knew where to get more soap but this journey would not be easy, and only the bravest of warriors should even consider the journey. "And above all, it is critical that you never eat tuna! Wait, no!" she cried, before her head suddenly exploded.

    On the other side of the world, there were other people with problems similar to the Duke's. They too feared the phrase "Never eat tuna." It was to this land the Duke commanded Umberto, of the Huns, to find the answers (and also soap), so the barbarian marched off without thinking of how their actions would affect those that they had left behind back home. They marched in three man columns to better defend themselves from unseen attackers. For they soon discovered that unseen attackers were the norm here, and alas all their discipline and preparation did them little good as wave after wave of invisible Arabian werebears with twin mounted gatling lasers on their backs. Granted, the laser fire gave away their position, but it was still much better than what the Huns had.

    At last, there was only Umberto, who ran away as quickly as possible, leaving the rest of his force to the werebears. He hid and settled in for a smoke. As the soothing nicotine entered his system, it occurred to him that the other side of the world was, like, really far away! Maybe walking hadn't been the best idea. He

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    • #32
      32 words added, glad to see my idea took off...

      "Never eat tuna," she said to that poor sap of Nottingham. The reason behind her remark was a trio of PETA members had recently recruited her into their ranks. Suddenly, her head exploded for no reason. The mess it created was more than the poor Duke could handle. "Why did this curse come to Nottingham?" He asked with his head sunk deep into his massive hands.

      The men and women seated upon the long wooden tables jumped up in astonishment at the way that things had unfolded in front of them. "Who is next?" they all wondered, looking around.

      "Never eat tuna!" said Farmer McLeary, when he learned of the tragedy that had befallen his wife. "Those were her last nipples," he choked, foaming at the mouth. "Fondle the koala!" Then his head exploded, splattering the slaves of Nottingham, who had gathered to serve the tuna and scrub the mess before it stained the royal Peruvian throw rug. The slaves hurriedly performed their appointed duties before the Duke could become enraged.

      However, the Duke became enraged anyway and proceeded with the beatings until morale improved. Predictably, it didn't improve much. That little fact sure didn't keep the old rotten Duke from trying his all. All around the clock he had whipped his servants to work harder. This might have been more effective if half of the servants' heads hadn't blown up. The whipping and scrubbing continued through the night, but the soap was running out, and stains were setting in. A crazy witch announced that she knew where to get more soap but this journey would not be easy, and only the bravest of warriors should even consider the journey. "And above all, it is critical that you never eat tuna! Wait, no!" she cried, before her head suddenly exploded.

      On the other side of the world, there were other people with problems similar to the Duke's. They too feared the phrase "Never eat tuna." It was to this land the Duke commanded Umberto, of the Huns, to find the answers (and also soap), so the barbarian marched off without thinking of how their actions would affect those that they had left behind back home. They marched in three man columns to better defend themselves from unseen attackers. For they soon discovered that unseen attackers were the norm here, and alas all their discipline and preparation did them little good as wave after wave of invisible Arabian werebears with twin mounted gatling lasers on their backs. Granted, the laser fire gave away their position, but it was still much better than what the Huns had.

      At last, there was only Umberto, who ran away as quickly as possible, leaving the rest of his force to the werebears. He hid and settled in for a smoke. As the soothing nicotine entered his system, it occurred to him that the other side of the world was, like, really far away! Maybe walking hadn't been the best idea. He contemplated alternate modes of transportation, but nothing significantly faster that was feasible came to mind. His thoughts then drifted to the forbidden phrase that had taken the lives of so many of
      Click it now.

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      • #33
        33

        "Never eat tuna," she said to that poor sap of Nottingham. The reason behind her remark was a trio of PETA members had recently recruited her into their ranks. Suddenly, her head exploded for no reason. The mess it created was more than the poor Duke could handle. "Why did this curse come to Nottingham?" He asked with his head sunk deep into his massive hands.

        The men and women seated upon the long wooden tables jumped up in astonishment at the way that things had unfolded in front of them. "Who is next?" they all wondered, looking around.

        "Never eat tuna!" said Farmer McLeary, when he learned of the tragedy that had befallen his wife. "Those were her last nipples," he choked, foaming at the mouth. "Fondle the koala!" Then his head exploded, splattering the slaves of Nottingham, who had gathered to serve the tuna and scrub the mess before it stained the royal Peruvian throw rug. The slaves hurriedly performed their appointed duties before the Duke could become enraged.

        However, the Duke became enraged anyway and proceeded with the beatings until morale improved. Predictably, it didn't improve much. That little fact sure didn't keep the old rotten Duke from trying his all. All around the clock he had whipped his servants to work harder. This might have been more effective if half of the servants' heads hadn't blown up. The whipping and scrubbing continued through the night, but the soap was running out, and stains were setting in. A crazy witch announced that she knew where to get more soap but this journey would not be easy, and only the bravest of warriors should even consider the journey. "And above all, it is critical that you never eat tuna! Wait, no!" she cried, before her head suddenly exploded.

        On the other side of the world, there were other people with problems similar to the Duke's. They too feared the phrase "Never eat tuna." It was to this land the Duke commanded Umberto, of the Huns, to find the answers (and also soap), so the barbarian marched off without thinking of how their actions would affect those that they had left behind back home. They marched in three man columns to better defend themselves from unseen attackers. For they soon discovered that unseen attackers were the norm here, and alas all their discipline and preparation did them little good as wave after wave of invisible Arabian werebears with twin mounted gatling lasers on their backs. Granted, the laser fire gave away their position, but it was still much better than what the Huns had.

        At last, there was only Umberto, who ran away as quickly as possible, leaving the rest of his force to the werebears. He hid and settled in for a smoke. As the soothing nicotine entered his system, it occurred to him that the other side of the world was, like, really far away! Maybe walking hadn't been the best idea. He contemplated alternate modes of transportation, but nothing significantly faster that was feasible came to mind. His thoughts then drifted to the forbidden phrase that had taken the lives of so many of Nottingham's peasants. "Newwer... et... toona," he growled, trying the words out with his thick barbarian tongue. He couldn't understand them, but a scouting Arabian werebear who was sneaking up had studied the language
        Last edited by Locke; 06-27-2014 at 12:16 AM.

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        • #34
          "Never eat tuna," she said to that poor sap of Nottingham. The reason behind her remark was a trio of PETA members had recently recruited her into their ranks. Suddenly, her head exploded for no reason. The mess it created was more than the poor Duke could handle. "Why did this curse come to Nottingham?" He asked with his head sunk deep into his massive hands.

          The men and women seated upon the long wooden tables jumped up in astonishment at the way that things had unfolded in front of them. "Who is next?" they all wondered, looking around.

          "Never eat tuna!" said Farmer McLeary, when he learned of the tragedy that had befallen his wife. "Those were her last nipples," he choked, foaming at the mouth. "Fondle the koala!" Then his head exploded, splattering the slaves of Nottingham, who had gathered to serve the tuna and scrub the mess before it stained the royal Peruvian throw rug. The slaves hurriedly performed their appointed duties before the Duke could become enraged.

          However, the Duke became enraged anyway and proceeded with the beatings until morale improved. Predictably, it didn't improve much. That little fact sure didn't keep the old rotten Duke from trying his all. All around the clock he had whipped his servants to work harder. This might have been more effective if half of the servants' heads hadn't blown up. The whipping and scrubbing continued through the night, but the soap was running out, and stains were setting in. A crazy witch announced that she knew where to get more soap but this journey would not be easy, and only the bravest of warriors should even consider the journey. "And above all, it is critical that you never eat tuna! Wait, no!" she cried, before her head suddenly exploded.

          On the other side of the world, there were other people with problems similar to the Duke's. They too feared the phrase "Never eat tuna." It was to this land the Duke commanded Umberto, of the Huns, to find the answers (and also soap), so the barbarian marched off without thinking of how their actions would affect those that they had left behind back home. They marched in three man columns to better defend themselves from unseen attackers. For they soon discovered that unseen attackers were the norm here, and alas all their discipline and preparation did them little good as wave after wave of invisible Arabian werebears with twin mounted gatling lasers on their backs. Granted, the laser fire gave away their position, but it was still much better than what the Huns had.

          At last, there was only Umberto, who ran away as quickly as possible, leaving the rest of his force to the werebears. He hid and settled in for a smoke. As the soothing nicotine entered his system, it occurred to him that the other side of the world was, like, really far away! Maybe walking hadn't been the best idea. He contemplated alternate modes of transportation, but nothing significantly faster that was feasible came to mind. His thoughts then drifted to the forbidden phrase that had taken the lives of so many of Nottingham's peasants. "Newwer... et... toona," he growled, trying the words out with his thick barbarian tongue. He couldn't understand them, but a scouting Arabian werebear who was sneaking up had studied the language.

          "Crikey," said the werebear, "Did ye knar tha-uh etin tuna ees bad fur the nipples, what for?".

          Umberto was startled, but aroused. He studied the werebear's....anatomy....for a moment. "Nice," he said. "Penis."

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