The Blossumdale Trilogy

[donteatpoop]

Hey, you how I've ocassionally mentioned the plays I've written? Well, I have three of them on here now, set to private while I edit in the BBC tags. I'll be releasing Location: Nowhere in the next few days, Highway Star (the best of the three in my opinion) will be released after that, and finally Midnight Drive.

I'll link to them here as they are opened to the public.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Plays?

Hmmm. I'm intrigued, DEP.

No, I've never 'heard' you mention that you're an amateur playwright.

PLAYS? Dude, plays are fucked. You are fucked. Complicated, in the craziest of ways.

It's just that simple.

Look forward to reading what you got.

[donteatpoop]

Well the first one is by far the weakest of the three. Some of it is so awful it's embarassing. But I'm posting it anyway.

[donteatpoop]

Here is the first one. I promise you that the other two are way better. I first wrote this one like 12 years ago, so it's not exactly awesome.

[Vesnic]

Wow, that really sucks.

Oh wait, I haven't read it yet.

[donteatpoop]

It really does, though.

Ugh, I hate it. Even as I flew through it just to add in BBC codes, the glimpses I saw of it made me wince.

Highway Star is the gem of the trilogy. And in all honesty, I don't know if I'm gonna keep Location: Nowhere. It would take some serious reworking if I were to keep it around.

[Vesnic]

Hey Poopsicle,

I'm probably only about a third of the way through the first piece, so perhaps this is premature, but there are a few things that come to mind for possible revisions:

General tightening--I think the scenes run a little long. I get the feeling that the whole theme of this play is that people can spend an immense amount of time doing nothing, and talking about nothing, but even so, I found the repetition to be a bit much at times.

Character speech--Some of the ways people talk don't quite seem believable to me. There are a couple of examples where a character who's supposedly kind of dumb will come out with something that just sounds entirely too...educated. Also, I thought that Harry and his wife tended to use more youthful language than I would expect. The whole honey-dear thing was a little bit contrived as well.

I know you hate this play, so you've probably already given a lot of thought to some of these issues. However, I like the overall tone of it, and I've always appreciated your focus on character development over the need to have a highly structured plot. You take the more difficult and ultimately more meaningful route in your writing, which has certainly improved immensely since you wrote this particular play.

[donteatpoop]

I agree with everything you said, Ves. Everything. Quite honestly, I'll probably scrap this at some point, but I keep looking at it thinking "oh it just needs touched up". Problem is, this will require more touching up than I get off of Chubbys mom.