IWT 10 - Voting

[Vesnic]

Good job, Usoki! Thanks for all your hard work and general Usokiness.

And Happy Ash Wednesday to you too! Hope the priest didn't poke your eyeballs out with his big throbbing thumb. For any other of you Cathy-lickers in the house, party time is officially OVER. Get down and give me head...I mean sex...no, six! Er, make that sixty!

[Usoki]

Voting has closed. Ballots are being tallied.

[Vesnic]

Aww, thanks, Endy, and you too Locke. Have I ever told you what a swell coupla dudes you are? Team players to the core.

Your whore,

Ves

[Usoki]

Alright then. As mentioned above, the corresponding number of votes has been received. So, there are now 24 hours left to send in any remaining ballots. Midnight central time, or ten o'clock Pacific time, take your pick.

[Locke]

FINE, I'll vote.

I only have Mizal's story left to go. I'll have it in in several hours.

[End Master]

Another option is that I am desperately hoping for more votes to be received. I'm all for giving Mizal SCORN, but right now we have more stories than we do votes.

Jesus fucking Christ, that lazy bitch still hasn't voted yet? I thought she said she was just going to write some old bullshit down for the ratings. It's a simple enough task even for her.

Fuck it, I'll vote if Ves, Batsy and you really want me to, but the problem with that is I haven't read any of the stories yet and it'll still take time.

Also, you all know I'm no good at giving any sort of meaningful comments that give any sort of insight of how you can "improve" as a writer, so I'm probably going to vote you high and praise it if had senseless violence, twisted sex and you used the word "fuck" a lot.

(I'm sure Bat is saying right now "Appreciated at last!")

EDIT: Just finished that whore Ves' story, moving on to that faggot Usoki's...

EDIT 2: Just finished that faggot Usoki's story, moving on to that fucktard Bat's...

EDIT 3: Just finished that fucktard Bat's story, moving on to that bitch Mizal the SCORNED one...

EDIT 4: Finished that bitch Mizal's story, PMing the goddamn ratings to Usoki.

Don't say I never did any fucking thing for you fucking assholes.

Actually I liked them all, even though a lot of them lacked in vulgarity.

[Usoki]

Okay, yes, that certainly is one option. Another option is that I am desperately hoping for more votes to be received. I'm all for giving Mizal SCORN, but right now we have more stories than we do votes. If you really WANT m to run the numbers now, I can. But ideally, End or someone else will vote.

[End Master]

The Death of Usoki

"Will you shut the fuck up bitch I'm trying to reload over here!" Usoki shouted at his crying co-worker as he fumbled with the ill fitting Chinese assault rifle clip.

Usoki's workplace was a bloodbath. He had finally had enough of the petty pointless rat race of it all and listening to his boring co-workers and their equally boring lives. He didn't give a shit about who just had a screaming brat to feed. He didn't care who just watched the latest episode of whatever reality show shitfest that called itself entertainment nowadays.

He was sick of it and everything else. This had been building up for a long time. The funny thing is when he first fired off those fatal shots and splattered the brains of two of his co-workers he thought he'd feel something negative. Like he'd chicken out as soon as he realized what he'd done. Maybe even sick, but instead it was a wave relief washed over him. It was like he knew that this was it. There was no turning back from this so he better enjoy it while he could.

This would be what he'd be remembered for.

As he blasted another mindless office drone, he wondered if maybe he should've been a little more inventive about this. After all work related shootings aren't uncommon. Mass shootings have been a dime a dozen ever since Columbine. Maybe he should've done something like capture his co-workers and put them in a sadistic trap and watch them futility try to solve it while he laughed the entire time…

But then he was always a pragmatic sort at heart. Why go through all that trouble when all of his targets would be all in one place where he could wipe them all out at the same time? Besides, he'd probably still get some news coverage. He'd already surpassed that Korean dickhead's body count, and that's gotta be worth something right?

"Goddamn commie piece of shit, they got a billion child slaves over there and the largest military in the world, you'd think they'd be able to…there! Got it!" Usoki said putting in yet another clip.

The sounds of the sirens were near. He could hear them like and almost imagined them as if they were the majestic trumpets of angels.

Yes, the angels were calling him home. He was almost done anyway.

Usoki made his way towards the building's exit wondering if they'd actually tell him to put the weapon down first or if they'd just shoot him on the spot. He supposed it didn't matter in the scheme of things, as there was only one way this was going to end. In fact deep down inside he always knew even as a little boy this was going to be how it would end.

Some people are just not meant for this world and he knew he was one of them.

As Usoki got to the door, the bullhorns were telling him to come out with his hands up, but he had ceased listening to the outside world anymore, he was in his own thoughts and how he'd finally be at peace.

"Those fucktards at Infinite Story will never know their scores now." Usoki laughed and exited the building to meet his destiny.

And it was glorious.

[Vesnic]

I see his imminent demise as also drug-related. Except as I see it, he will top off a perfect day of glistening barely-there Latin dancing with the ladies, wearing an experimental new grass skirt, of such exotic weaves and leaves with a mysterious smoke dragon in tow. Alas, the countless grasses of his swishy swishy samba skirt, which will have been so oversprayed with noxious chemicals to lend those vibrant colors and sparkles and other mysteries of the rosary, this noxious splendor shall also prove the undoing of our beloved stalwart Usoki. But there is yet a silver lining to be found! The next day will be one of rejoicing amongst local clerics, for a miraculous abundance of the heretofore paltry ash stores will review now an abundance of freshest ashes! In somber celebration and awe beneath the mysteries of the Cross, shall these faithful servants spread their bountiful ashes amongst the faithful. A little piece of Usoki will find its way searchingly to our hearts or, more specifically, will drip down viscously down our foreheads, making a pig's breakfast of our carefully-applied mascara. Rejoice for Usoki! He will never again have to give up anything for forty days in a row, and he will never again have to host one of these dreadful contests, a burden which has clearly grown tiresome to his spirit in these last sad years. Rise, Usoki! Rise again! But first, just one, we beg you oh beloved lord, walk amongst us just once more and...tell us our scores? Oh joys and thanks a-plenty a-may hooray! For Usoki, America and St. Oomibumsalite, martyr!

[BatCountry]

She sounds like a lovely woman Ves. The world is a darker place without her.

Speaking of dark places, it could be possible that Usoki is dead, right? Do we have any contingency plans set in place in the event of the untimely demise of one of our own brethren? Poor Usoki...He was so young.

Bets on how he kicked the bucket? I say heroin binge with Thai hookers. After he bit the dust, they cut him up and sold the organs on the black market. Someone search eBay for Usoki's kidneys!

[Vesnic]

Is this fucking thing OVER yet? Waiting for this contest to end has felt just like sitting around the bedside of a terminally sick relative wishing the other family members would just walk away and stop looking so weepy and prayerful so I could just PULL THE FUCKING PLUG ALREADY.

Seriously, let's move on with life. As my grandmother always said (before she died in a comparatively considerate, short-term fashion), "Shit, get off the can, or fucking JUMP OFF A CLIFF! *Spit* *Spit*"

[BatCountry]

My votes are in homies. Just the contest entrants are voting? Lame sauce.

[Usoki]

I'm hesitant to offer another round of extentions, but I'm also aware that we need as many votes as possible for a statistically meaningful result.

Here's what I'm going to do- once I receive two more votes, I will post in the forum. You will have 24 hours from that forum post, after which point the contest is closed. That's enough votes for everyone in the competition to avoid SCORN. But there's also the risk that someone else will vote, and you'll be 24 hours away from SCORN. Take that as you will.

[mizal]

We have till midnight Pacific time on this again, right?

otherwise I guess I better just start randomly assigning stars and typing whatever, hope you guys like getting the list of ingredients off this can of diet coke for your feedback

[Usoki]

This is still a thing. Don't forget to vote this weekend, so that we can wrap this sucker up.