Ves' IWT 10 Thread -- Traitors beware!

[Vesnic]

Bye guys. I'm going away again. Please try not to be as wild and out of hand as you were the last time I turned my back on you.

[End Master]

Given "Country From Hell," the forum posts that describe her neighborhood, the subject matter of her writing, and that one blurry photo that showed up however long ago, I had her living somewhere in Eastern Europe. For some reason I'd settled on Romania (before the latest IWT), not sure why.

Because she's a fucking disease ridden gypsy that's why. If she did live in Romania though, that would've been one hell of a long and expensive trip for Apoth to take just to sex her up.

(Yes Ves we all know you still would've been totally worth it)

I had to look up Warwick Davis (you could've at least spelled his name right) - who also played the ewok "Wicket" in "Return of the Jedi," so I do understand your preoccupation.

Seriously Locke? I made some unoffensive, off hand Dennis Milleresque comment and you give me shit about misspelling the name of some vertically challenged actor? And THEN continue to insult me by accusing me of being a "Warsie" on top of it?

Go fucking fly your plane, John Denver.

(Seriously I don't care, but Ves will enjoy the drama in her thread when she comes back, even if it is staged a bit.)

Maybe Ves will save you a foot.

One can only hope.

[Locke]

Last time she mentioned living in the Boston area, and St. Patricks Day is coming up so I'm assuming she won't have to go far to catch Warrick Davis.

Yeah, I don't have your encyclopedic memory (or your indexed, searchable database with details about our lives, or that creepy pastiche of maps and newspaper clippings you've got on the wall).

Given "Country From Hell," the forum posts that describe her neighborhood, the subject matter of her writing, and that one blurry photo that showed up however long ago, I had her living somewhere in Eastern Europe. For some reason I'd settled on Romania (before the latest IWT), not sure why.

So Ireland wasn't too far out of the question, and would've made an amusing coincidence.

I had to look up Warwick Davis (you could've at least spelled his name right) - who also played the ewok "Wicket" in "Return of the Jedi," so I do understand your preoccupation.

Maybe Ves will save you a foot.

[End Master]

Last time she mentioned living in the Boston area, and St. Patricks Day is coming up so I'm assuming she won't have to go far to catch Warrick Davis.

[Locke]

leprechaun hunt

I'm assuming Ireland (unless you're just being random), so let me know if you see something worth seeing, as there's a good chance I'll be there in a month or so.

I plan to stalk and violate a little person, and cut off his feet.

Are you SURE you're not End Master? It's the foot fetish that raises the question, more than anything.

[Vesnic]

Well, I probably won't be jumping to the moon any time soon (despite my mother's famous threats of yore that I would arrive there by the end of her foot). However, I will be going on a leprechaun hunt for a few days, so, to take a page from End's book, I'm letting you all know ahead of time. Do try to miss me. I do so enjoy it when people miss me, even if I have yet to obtain any empirical proof of said missing. That's right, a leprechaun hunt. I'm going to stalk the hairy little bastards, and if I'm really really lucky steal their pot of gold, some of the proceeds from which I'll use to mount and gild those horrid, hirsute leprechaun feet! If I don't ever return, it's because one of them threw a rainbow javelin at me, exploding my heart into a billion fiery bits.

If I do return, however, it would be nice to come back to news about the next IWT, namely the announcement of "Caress the Ves" as the subject for 2014's contest!

[End Master]

Really, I liked this story more than the other two Ves submitted for the past contests.

I actually started with her story first because I went in thinking, "Okay I need to do this first while my mind is semi-focused because I'm going have to wade through a bunch of artsy writing, allegories, metaphors, and a bunch of other fancy stuff."

I was glad to find that it wasn't the case this time. It was a nice whimsical tale about a vampire who can jump to the moon!

[Vesnic]

And how do you think I became Veshy, or, alternatively, Vessy McMessy?
Or alternatively ... oh, we'll leave that last one for another day.

[BatCountry]

. How do you think I became Usucky, the angry japanese midget?

The truth?

[Usoki]

Embrace the love, PookyB. Such nicknames are honors bestowed. It means that you're one of us. How do you think I became Usucky, the angry japanese midget?

[BatCountry]

All in favor of making BatC's new nickname "Pookum the Barbarian"?

...


...


You son of a bitch.

[Vesnic]

I say aye! PookyB in da' company!

[Usoki]

All in favor of making BatC's new nickname "Pookum the Barbarian"?

[Vesnic]

Happy IS-Day to you!
You burly pooky cooky gooky poo!
Happy VICTORY, hard BatCountry
You massive titanium screw!

[BatCountry]

Pookums? Oh for the love of all that is holy don't give me that nickname. That's all I need for the wandering barbarians of these forums to forever point and laugh at "Pookums". It's cute for sure, but AT WHAT COST MAN?!

Bad enough in the real world I'm known as Pooky at my job by various women folk. Don't need that spreading to the internet lands as well! Oh the shame and humiliation of being a lovable lug.


No, I did believe you were kidding but I have to be sure. Any hiccups like that would just cause our wedding to fall to pieces before it even has a chance to get off the ground! I like a servant wife who will never question my motives. I'm a hard man that way.