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[Ryan_DuBois]

Nice. But still... how does the cop already know? And is Irene with Joe and Lily? Isn't she in the car? Blah. Nevermind.

[EDIT]

Lily is startled as she suddenly hears Irene's voice.

Joe asks Irene: "Where the hell did you come from?!"

Frank is dead. Still. He sees only blackness, but suddenly a far-away light appears.

Trent digs in the glove box for his registration while the officer looks over his license.

The officer uses his telepathic eye to continue searching the burning building while physically still looking over the license.

Irene smiles and says she just walked in.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

The waitress departs just as Irene arrives at the table.

Irene unceremoniously takes a seat.

Lilly says: "Where's Trent?"

Joe stares at the waitresses ass as she walks towards another table.

As Trent continues to search for his registration, he looks towards the passenger seat and gasping, notices Lilly's missing. "The fuck?" He says.

The officer glances at him: "What did you say to me, boy?"

Frank drifts very slowly towards the light, sliding effortlessly through an ether-like medium.

[End Master]

Irene says "Trent is outside getting interrogated by a police officer and I can't say as I'm unhappy about it considering the sick shit he tried to pull on me just before."

Lilly nods and goes back to being introspective while she waits for her food. She begins to think back to when she first started dieting. It was all to impress some boy she liked in high school. She remembers how she became so obsessed that she became borderline anorexic and collapsed in the middle of science class during a lecture on the nervous system. This was soon followed by waking up in the hospital and months of therapy afterwards. The silliest part of it all was the boy she liked turned out to be gay in the first place.

It was a traumatic event and one that almost lead to her death yet an important lesson in moderation and to never overdo something. She decided that she would order a slice of chocolate cake to offset the diet food when the waitress came back.

Joe tips his chair back to get a better look at the waitress, but in doing so he successfully loses his balance and falls to the floor much to the amusement of some teenagers at another table nearby.

"CLEAR!"
BUZZ!
Frank is suddenly jolted to life by some well prepared paramedics who arrived on the scene of the fire along with the fire department (finally).
"WHEEEEEZZZZEEEE!" he gasps.

Trent attempts to explain to the officer that Irene was just with him and he was expressing his surprise at the fact that she just suddenly disappeared and not swearing at him. He then hastily gives his registration over to the officer.

The officer reads Trent's mind and sees he is telling the truth. He also senses that Frank is now fine. Realizing his job here is done, he hands Trent's license and registration back. He then punches Trent in the face for wasting his time before driving away.

[Usoki]

"Anyway," says Irene, "I need to calm down. What should I order here? I'm thinking about the tuna..."

"Oh, no!" replies Lilly. "Never eat tuna!" she says, right before her head explodes.

Joe pulls himself off of the ground only to get a mouthful of Lilly-gore as her noggin splatters.

"Eww, gross!" shout some of the nearby teenagers. The others laugh even harder, completely unphased by the chunks of grey matter now in their food.

Suddenly, a part of the room collapses, sending a support beam onto Frank's head, knocking him unconscious.

The paramedics sigh in annoyance.

Trent drives over to the restaurant, figuring that Irene might have teleported over there, or something.

The officer growls in annoyance at the scene in his third eye. "Why did her head explode? That was such a dumb allusion to an idiotic thread."

[End Master]

Due to Lilly's outburst and even more sudden head explosion, Irene now found it hard to not think about tuna, this inevitably caused her head to explode in a spectacular fashion.

Lilly was really dead and not coming back. Not even a highly skilled brain surgeon could put her head back together which was now all over the floor and wall, let alone some well prepared paramedics.

Fortunately for Joe, he was too busy puking from the gore to think about anything. In an effort to escape from all this madness he quickly ran away from the restaurant retching the whole time.

A lot of the teenagers at this point either followed Joe's lead, or their heads exploded as they succumbed to the tuna curse.

The paramedics loaded Frank into the ambulance who was now peacefully sleeping again.

Trent saw several people, including Frank running out of the restaurant covered in blood and sick. Some of their heads even exploded. Not knowing exactly what all this was about, he decided to drive away from the place.

The officer went home since he was protected by his third eye he wasn't worried about his head exploding and there really wasn't anything he could do for the rest of them, other than tell people to not think about tuna, which of course would only make things worse. Nope, it was just best to let these sort of things play themselves out.

[Usoki]

Joe stood next to his car, puking one last time before attempting to drive home. "Now I'm gonna need another roommate," he thinks, bitterly.

The paramedics wonder why their patient just disappered into thin air.

Frank runs out of the restaurant covered in blood and sick, just as Trent saw. Then Frank remembers he's not supposed to be here at all, and suddenly falls over unconscious, now covered in blood, sick, gravel, and serious burns.

As Trent drives away, he feels as though a big burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Life seems much happier for him wiithout Irene. He starts to whistle.

[donteatpoop]

I'd like to first applaud the resurrection of this thread and then condemn the complete lack of continuity. You people are both awesome and retarded.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Amen. Total amen.

Also, I'd like to say that DEP is a pimp. But that's beside the point.

What year is this?

Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing. You happy, oblivious peons. Don't you see what's going on here??? They WANT you to think I'm a stupid idiot! Don't fall into the trap they have laid so wantonly open!!!!!!!!!

[Locke]

DEP, on the previous page, Megaman added to the thread. What did you expect after that, poetry? Sanity? Whatever; that was when people started teleporting, exploding and so forth.

Anyway, the thread had about run its course - for the second time! - as a serious story, so it's cool there was still at least some entertainment to be had. Funny, I'm usually the one protesting when someone inevitably makes a mockery of the conversation.

=======================================

Joe heads for the apartment - unbeknownst to him, a smoldering ruin - wanting nothing more than to watch his DVDs and empty his mind, which is working unusually hard to repress the restaurant disaster. He mentally reviews a list of prospective roommates, and draws a blank.

The paramedics give up and leave, having lost Frank several times and unable to help the headless victims.

Frank is still unconscious in the parking lot.

Trent makes his way to the club, causing two serious accidents as he cuts people off, nodding his head in time to the bastardized hip-hop blasting out from the stereo. "THIS THE REMIX!" a voice reminds him repeatedly.

[Ryan_DuBois]

I'm personally pleased with the lack of incontinuity -- the only drawback was that we had to add in all the craziness in order to fix it. All I can think of that still has to be explained is the narration switching; we managed to somehow switch back and forth from present tense to past tense, and then finally back to the present (with the latter halfway through Usoki's post).

Maybe the narrator's been doing acid.

[Locke]

All of this is clearly a result of the curse. You can't stop it from spreading, after all - it's already jumped threads - you can only keep quantities of soap on hand, to clean up after the explosions. Or, apparently, teleport around in time and space to try to throw it off, though you'll notice that didn't work for Irene, who found herself being reminded not to eat - well, never mind.

It's also possible Megaman's violation of the laws of physics brought the curse down on us in the first place. It simply appeared in the other thread retroactively.

[JJJ-thebanisher]

We should have pretended Megaman didn't post.

[End Master]

Well at least we got a moral out of the story: Megaman is a fucktard.

(Of course we all knew that already)

[Usoki]

I would've been all for just skipping Mega and pretending that he didn't post, but Ryan had to try and be nice, and by then, it was just too late.

Joe thinks that maybe the guy he was supposed to meet up with- what was his name, Trent? would make a good roommate. But the guy never showed up at the restaurant... neither did his food! Joe is now aware of just how hungry he still is.

Frank, unconscious on the cold, hard asphalt and covered in serious burns, begins to dream.

Trent arrives at the club, only to realize that it is closed, and will be for the next seven hours. "Well, it's five o'clock somewhere," he thinks to himself, getting back in his car to find a place that will serve him booze.

[Ryan_DuBois]

I would've been all for just skipping Mega and pretending that he didn't post, but Ryan had to try and be nice, and by then, it was just too late.

I can't help it.



To Mega's credit, he did fix a pretty significant typo from his post once I pointed it out. It was very kind and unusual of him to do that rather than call me a fucking retard who doesn't know what a typo is. After he removed the one error, I figured we might as well go with the flow since the story was getting a little boring anyways.