Movies (recently seen)

[ChubbyTeletubby]

An apology is an order. That kind of behavior on the forums is infantile, at best. You know we're trying to have a civilized discussion here, Locke.

Why don't you follow in the footsteps of your namesake and put to use some of that 'reason and tolerance'.

Or something. i forgot what we're talking about because I'm so drunk right now.

[Dragavan]

Follow in the footsteps of his namesake? You mean die, only to be replaced by the smoke monster? Why would you want that for him? Sheesh people, where has all the civility gone?

[Ryan_DuBois]

Follow in the footsteps of his namesake? You mean die, only to be replaced by the smoke monster? Why would you want that for him? Sheesh people, where has all the civility gone?

All I can find is that it's something to do with Lost. I've never watched the show, and am thus forced to remain outside this inside joke.

[End Master]

Well Chubby has mentioned in the past that his name was Jacob, so it would make sense that he'd oppose Locke/Smokey.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Sheesh, c'mon guys. JOHN LOCKE. One of the great thinkers of the enlightenment.

Wow.

[End Master]

No shit, we all knew that already, some of us were making Lost references for our own amusement.

And if the real John Locke was such a great thinker he would've been able to outthink death and not lay rotting in the ground right now along side Plato, Kant and Nietzsche boy.

(Okay, maybe they're not really rotting next to each other)

EDIT: I'm not drunk or high, I just spelled Nietzsche wrong.

EDIT 2: I'm still not drunk (or high).

EDIT 3: I didn't erase anything, I'm just editing again to let everyone know I'm still not drunk (or high).

EDIT 4: But wouldn't it be weird if I was?

EDIT 5: Happy April Fool's Day!

[Ryan_DuBois]

Yes, indeed.

I think Chubby may have been over-pranking you, End.

[End Master]

Hard to tell with Chubby, he might've been genuinely angry at us for supposedly not know knowing who John Locke was, but either way I'm covered since my post was pretty light hearted and acknowledged that it was April Fool's Day.

Speaking of which:

The old slasher movie April Fool's Day is mediocre, but it gets a few points for doing something a little different for its time.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I am so confused right now.

Anyway...I watched Boogie Nights again and liked it. I hadn't seen it in awhile. It's always nice to dig out one of those old favorites you haven't seen in years and years and give it another go.

Toward the end of the movie there's a great scene where they (Mark W., John C. Reilly, and that other dude) are all twacked out at this dealer's pad, while he rocks out to a mix tape and you get this 30 second close up of Mark Wahlberg just totally in the zone.

And such. Mark W is great in that. C. Reilly is great in that, too. And Burt Reynolds. And so many others.

Imported Italian Nylon.

[End Master]

Saw the Clash of the Titans remake. (In 3D because it was the earliest showing when I got there)

It was better than I expected.

Though given how much they changed the original movie and had even further deviation from the real Greek mythology they could've easily just renamed everyone, called it "Wrath of the Gods" and just had it play out as a regular sword and sorcery movie rather than calling it a remake. In fact they probably should've just done that instead.

The battle scenes were cool, but there wasn't any need for the 3D which seemed just tacked on.

Anyway Usoki should definitely avoid the film at all costs. The raping of the lore would make him rage with the power of a thousand suns.

[Usoki]

Oh, I assumed as much. The original movie was ridiculous enough, but at least they followed the myth. Admittedly, they had rather large detours for events like Calibos or Pegasus... and I still have no idea what in the fuck was up with that owl... but you can at least tell what the myth is supposed to be. Even if they have no idea what time period they're using.

Why bother remaking it if you're just gonna ignore everything? Especially when the original was already a pointless derivative? I could have at least understood the rape of the Perseus myth if they were following the movie, but... if you're gonna ignore that as well, just come up with your own damn grand vision. Is it so much to ask for a new and original movie? Apparently, yes- all we get are shitty remakes and faithless adaptations.

[Ryan_DuBois]

Invictus

8.5

I'm usually immune to those inspirational sports movies, but this one was very good. I love the fact that during the whole movie you get the feeling that the President of South Africa is just kinda screwing-off/watching rugby, while so much depends on his leadership.

Anyway, I expect a lot of people will like it less than me. I enjoyed it even more than Eastwood's last film, but it IS unconventional.

[End Master]

Horror movie round up!

Tooth & Nail- Post Apocalyptic. A lot of illogical things going on in this one, which wouldn't have been a problem if it hadn't been going for a serious tone. It's okay if you've got time to waste though.

Frontiers- Basically a French version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They added some political commentary in it at the beginning, but it gets to the good parts (torture, murder, etc) soon enough.

Dead Snow- Nazi zombies in Norway. This is probably the only Nazi zombie movie that I think finally managed to combine the two and not suck.

The Burrowers- A horror Western. You don't get too many of these and this one was done very well.

Santa's Slay- This was a horror comedy. Not too much subtlety to it since Santa basically goes around town killing everyone right from the start. It was amusing enough.

[Ryan_DuBois]

Youth in Revolt

8.5

I know I'm predisposed to like it because I find Michael Cera hilarious, but think I would have enjoyed this one even without him. It wasn't a full-out comedy, but more of a healthy balance between laughs and an interesting story. Kind of like Napolean Dynamite or some of Mike Judd's movies, I suppose.

The only disappointment was that Zach Galifianakis and Steve Buscemi played less-than-funny characters, but that was more than made up for by "Francois Dillinger" (Cera's evil alter ego).

[End Master]

Well it's Hitler's Birthday today and had he not totally fucked up by attacking the USSR when he wasn't ready, he'd still be rotting in Hell (or the ground) right now.

(Okay I suppose it's possible Nazi scientists would've created some sort of super elixer using Jew blood to prolong his life to 121 or put his brain in a high tech jar or something)

Anyway I saw a movie called "Fatherland" a long time ago which took the old premise of "What if the Nazis won" scenario. It was a more realistic approach given that the Nazis didn't entirely "win". They just managed to take over all of Europe, but were still fighting a guerilla war with Russia & had an ongoing cold war with the US. (Japan still got nuked)

It's not a bad movie overall, but I somehow doubt that if the Holocaust became exposed to everyone that it would cause the Nazi Regime to fall shortly thereafter. The average citizen of the 3rd Reich probably wouldn't have cared given all the propaganda and indoctrination tactics the Nazis were doing and would've continued to do had they been a little more successful.

Since we're on the subject alternate history, I also saw a movie called "The Confederate States of America" (Which also coinsides with it being Confederate History Month in certain southern states right now I guess)

This movie took the form of a mockumentary. The premise of a British documentary on the history and evolution of the CSA to present day was an interesting one (along with all the funny fake racist commericals in between) but the execution was pretty bad. The CSA taking over not just the Union but ALL of Central and fucking south america made it pretty unbelievable. Just wouldn't have happened. At best the CSA would've had a sizable chunk of what would be America and maybe parts of Mexico and some of the Caribbean and there still would've been a USA, just much weaker.

I question if slavery would've still been viable economically into the modern age and certainly not to the point where every white citizen would've been able to own their own slave! Even in past when slavery was the in thing to do, only the rich people had them in sizable numbers. I doubt if every white person would've been well off, you still would've had the whole class system of poor vs rich (with the slaves at the very bottom taking beatings from everyone of course)

Then there was a lot of other historical parallels still going on, and I suppose that part would be hard to predict (Like would Vietnam or Iraq still happen, etc) but eh, it was still done in a lazy way. Like the USSR still existed, so I'm pretty sure the whole red scare would've still occurred. I doubt if someone like Elvis would've ran up to Canada to still be "Elvis". Chances are if he'd been brought up in a CSA environment he would've stuck with Gosple music and stayed home.

I'm guessing the whole point of the movie was a unique way of trying to get the point across that "Racism and slavery are bad!" which is fine, but I got that idea within the first five minutes and they sort of defeated some of their own purpose by making the racist commericals blatently comical in nature. (The satire failed)

Meh, I suppose it would've been okay if it had been an episode of a cheesy scifi show where I could've suspended more disbelief.