Movies (recently seen)

[Vesnic]

Where's Waldo?



It's a penis, tee hee! It's a penis!


Run Lola Run is one of my all-time favorite movies. In college I used to watch it about once a week and I think I can still recite whole sections of it from memory. There was also a humongous Lola poster hanging in my room for a long time. So yeah, I'm just a teensy bit of a fan of that movie.

Oh, and I have the soundtrack too...

And write fanfic about Moritz Bleibtreu in a Scheisse porn. We won't get into that.

Sorry, guys, I have to break into the German again!

Wer sind wir? Woher kommen wir? Wohin gehen wir? Woher wissen wir, was wir zu wissen glauben?

(Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? From where do we know, what it is we think we know?)

AWESOME FUCKING MOVIE!

If you haven't seen it, stop what you are doing and watch it NOW. It is indeed a CYOA with three full branches!

[End Master]

Hmm cartoon chicks getting rated on hotness. The geekdom has truly hit a high point tonight.

Well, no point in looking like an outsider…

Feeeeel…her chest!
Feel her chest!
Are they real or fake breasts?
Real are better
In a sweater
And they last in any weather
Is she fat?
Can’t have that!
I want her agile, like a cat
I need her beautiful and thin
With a mind of freaky sin
Get a lass with some class
But don’t forget a shapely ass
A hot chick who sucks my dick
Can’t be surpaaasssed
Just make sure she’s not a hoe,
I don’t want AIDS you know!
Feel her chest!
Feel her chest!
Feel her chest!

Heeeeear that screaming
That’s her sing-ing
About the pleasure that I’m bring-ing
But in bed she better be the very beeest

So let’s get ready for fun
Oh baby you’re the one!

Feel her chest
Feel her chest
Oh please, let me please, feel her cheeeeeest!

[Vesnic]

If I had a penis, it'd be getting seriously droopy after that little ditty.

Then again, if I had a penis, I would most likely be male and not female. If I were a straight male, then I might not have such an adverse reaction at all.

So I guess my adverse reaction makes me a gay male with my hypothetical penis.

But what if just my penis was gay but I was a mentally straight man? What then? Imagine being a straight man and trying to get it up for Jasmine and Belle and Ariel and all the other two-dimensional ladies, yet not being able to because your penis was gay and therefore much more interested in Aladdin, the Beast and Eric.

If my penis was gay, would my mind eventually cave in and also become gay just in the interest of harmony? Or would I be doomed to a life of celibacy?

Then again, if my hypothetically gay penis has made me a fully gay man, and I remove the hypothetical penis, then I am once again a straight woman. I have come back to the beginning.

I feel like I just proved something earth-shattering here.

Time for naked yoga!

[End Master]

If you were gay you’d probably prefer a song like this…

No one can fuck like Gaston!
No one can suck like Gaston!
No one's dick is as incredibly thick as Gaston's!

For there's no man in town half as faggy
Perfect, a homo paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team he’s on
No one's kneeled like Gaston
Bit pillows like Gaston
No one takes cum on his chin like Gaston!
As a specimen, yes, he’s flaming!
My what a fag, that Gaston!

Can’t continue... too busy laughing…

[apotheosis]

I love that you said "Homo Paragon"

That is like gay-lord on steroids.




EDIT: Oh, I can't remember if I ever posted this link. If I haven't here it is now. Even if I have, watch it again, it is worth it.

WARNING NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18! NSFW

http://www.pornotube.com/media.php?m=226592

[End Master]

I doubt if you needed to even warn people, given that the term "pornotube" is in the link.

I have to admit I'm pretty much in the dark about most Disney movies and don't know much about any of these interchangeable princesses or any of the other characters within them. I've never really actively watched most of them, the ones I've seen bits and pieces of are only mainly due to someone else watching them in the room, or they just happened to be on in the background, which in either case I'm hardly paying attention.

Anyway, Katie informed me that Rajah was some tiger and she was surprised that I hadn't make a furry joke about Apoth since he wanted to see Rajah fuck Jasmine. I now lament the lost opportunity due to my lack of knowledge on Disney crap.

Of course the time for such an action has passed now, but it's good to know these things for future reference.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I wish I was pterodactyl.

And Ariel will always be my favorite. I think I was 7 when I saw that the Little Mermaid in theaters and I walked out of the movie a man.

And Ves, don't even imagine what it would be like to have a penis because you could never comprehend it. Just your remarks alone show your ignorance when it comes to that.

Or balls. You have no idea how annoying they are. Although sometimes they make a nice stress relief toy.

Like my high school girlfiend told me, "I don't think you guys realize how much fun balls are."

I was like, "Oh, believe me, we do."

Flounder, Ariel, and Sebastion? Nah, too weird.

[apotheosis]

Ariel and the hot young form Ursala takes when she tries to sabotage Ariel. They could have really angry violent sex involving strap ons. Better yet, they could use strap on sea cucumbers to keep with a theme. They even shoot out a white liquid when stroked!

[Vesnic]

Boobs can be lots of fun for the owner too. Especially on cold days, I find the most effective way to warm my permafrost hands is to stick them up under my shirt and grab one tit with each hand. Gets 'em nice and toasty in ten seconds flat. It's especially entertaining to do in public.

My mother once told me that when I am dressed up and have no pockets and also no purse, that I should put my money in my trouser socks. My mother, however, has breasts that are so small, I think they are actually a little concave. She never realized that there's nothing like the cleavage for producing lots and lots of personally warmed greenbacks. I have made lots of bartenders happy this way, including in a dykebar called Cubbyhole that I once unwittingly stumbled into and was nearly assaulted by a band of 50+ motorcycle mamas bent on getting a bite of my juicy young flesh.

The terror! The terror!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Ya, I went to a gay club a couple of times and was overwhelmed.

I felt like a cheap piece of meat. This one older black gentleman offered to pay me $100 to fuck some girl in front of him while he masturbated.

Another guy, when I told him I was straight, commented, "Too bad. There's a lot of guys here who would want to suck and fuck you."

Why don't I get this sort of attention when I go to NORMAL clubs. IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Vesnic]

The trick, ChubChub, is to go to a gay bar/club where the fags bring their hags along to dance. Hags, as a class of sexually frustrated women, are almost always straight, horny, and acclimated to the unbelievable sluttiness of gay clubs. In other words, they're EASY.

So go to a gay club. Steal a hag from her fag while he's busy grinding that same huge muscular black man with a bulging package. Whisk her out the door before he notices and you're made.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

BRILLIANT! I think you could be on to something here, Ves.

Wait, wasn't this thread supposed to be about movies?

AH, screw it. I NEED TO GET LAID!

[donteatpoop]

If you film it, then you are still on topic chubby.

[Vesnic]

Twisted minds think alike. The same thought just now occurred to me in the shower and I was about to post it...

[donteatpoop]

Twisted minds think alike. The same thought just now occurred to me in the shower and I was about to post it...

You were about to post your shower? Please don't hesitate to do so.