Movies (recently seen)

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Ves, you'd make a great film critic.

I've read like three critiques of Juno in newspapers ect., and yours was by far the most intelligent and entertaining.

On that note, they seem to agree with you. It's weird, they all like it, yet they're still on the fence for some reason.

Moral of the story: Maybe filmmakers CAN appease everyone?

[Vesnic]

I just got my first Netflix: "Superbad" and "The End of the Affair". My new lifeplan is to sit around and watch lots of movies, hit the gym every now and then, and enjoy my new bed until my parents finally get wise to the fact that I'm a bum and kick me out for good. But until such a time, I hope to do a whole lotta flixin'.

[Usoki]

I dunno, though... Juno was pretty good. There really wasn't any part of it that was outright hilarious, but it was just amusing enough to never get bored or bogged down. And it was surprisingly emotional, given that every single character other than Juno was written in one dimension, as you said. I didn't mind it as much as you did, but...

Still, I found it weird that they wrote the Ultrasound lady as a bitch. Amusing, yes, but rather weird. And of all the flavors for a condom...why boysenberry?

But it still gets the message across in the end. "Babies want to be borned! God thanks you for your miracle!"

I still don't know why they chose the ending they did- watching those two slaughter a perfectly good song (Well, he did, anyway) for five minutes more than necessary was just odd. And added nothing- the audience knew they were together. It'd've been way more poignant to have ended with Juno's note where the family photo would've been. I'm surprised they didn't, considering how freakishly modern the opening credits were.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Never mind.

[End Master]

I'm going to randomly ask if anyone has seen the following movies for no apparent reason...

Jacob's Ladder
Kids
In the Mouth of Madness
Sling Blade
U-Turn
Lucky Number Slevin
The Thing
Smokin' Aces
Falling Down

[Vesnic]

I saw Lucky Number Slevin during a "bad movie marathon" with my best friend. She researched the worst films of the year (2005, wasn't it?) based on their tomato ratings and then she downloaded a bunch of them as I made sure to stock her apartment with sketchy imported wine to lubricate the whole process. Also in the group were Hoodwinked, Saw II, and The Family Stone. Of all of these, that last one was the only movie in the bunch that definitely made me want to slit my own throat. As for Lucky Number Slevin, I thought it was pretty run-of-the-mill action/suspense with nothing really making it stand out, but it didn't deserve the trash rating either. For some reason, the critics really seem to have it out for Josh Hartnett. But that's because they're mostly a bunch of jealous old limpdicks.

[End Master]

I always thought Lucky Number Slevin was underrated, the only annoying person in it was Lucy Lui, but given that her character was supposed to be ditzy, I didn't mind her as much.

EDIT: Lucky Number Slevin was a 2006 movie. Though there was a movie called Domino that came out in 2005 which sort of had a similar feel. I think that one got a "worst movie". (Liked that one as well despite everyone else hating it)

As I remember Slevin got a few awards from a couple of indy award shows or something like that (Josh I think even got one for acting)

[Dragavan]

Jacob's Ladder -Yes, enjoyed it but it was so long ago I forgot most of it

Kids -Yes, but remember little about it other than I didn't care for it at the time

In the Mouth of Madness -Nope

Sling Blade -Yes, pretty good movie and was quoting it for days after seeing it

U-Turn -Nope, never been an Oliver Stone fan so I never had the urge to see it

Lucky Number Slevin -Nope, but it's in my NetFlix queue

The Thing -Yes (even if you mean the old BW original), the Carpenter one kicks ass

Smokin' Aces -Nope, but it's in my NetFlix queue

Falling Down -Yes, and I absolutely hate this movie. I think it is so completely overrated by everyone I know

[End Master]

Hmm, I'm usually hearing the exact opposite for Falling Down. Usually people are always saying how it was a racist movie.

In the Mouth of Madness has a whole Lovecraft vibe. I think it's one of the better movies to attempt it, (Even more than most movies that are based on the actual books) but then I like a lot of Carpenter's movies. He really dropped the damn ball on Escape from LA though.

[Shabti]

I just watched Freedom Writers the other night. That was a good movie! God damn Hilary Swank is hot as fucking hell!!!! Especially when she played a boy in Boys Don't Cry. I have yet to see that movie. Anybody have it? I want it!

[Vesnic]

A friend of mine recommended The Secret so I added it to my queue.

Such a mistake I have not made in a long time.

I hate this movie on so many levels. Where do I start?

1. Mindfuck. Eerie music, whispered quotations, odd visual effects, shadowy visual references to freemasonry...it was all no doubt intended to be very convincing. I, as the average American idiot, was sitting in my chair slackjawed and drooling because of the overwhelmingly convincing awesomeness of the special effects. And as we all know, there is a direct logical argument leading from technical wizardry to Absolute Truth. Hold my hair back while I barf on the carpet.

2. Experts. Any documentary worth its weight in shit will employ the opinion of various experts, each of whom weigh in on the subject, invariably agreeing with one another. This was the motley crew of "experts" if ever there was one, ranging from "visionaries" and "entrepreneurs" to "feng shui artists" and the occasional "quantum physicist" because, as we all know, the real litmus test of awesomeness is if you can find a quantum physicist who agrees with it. I don't know if some of these so-called scientists got their PhD's from the internet, or just did too much acid in the 60's or were willing to sell their academic integrity for a nice paycheck. At any rate, they were bold enough to make claims way way way way way (and I mean really) out of the realm of what can actually be proven. But your average slackjawed dumbass doesn't require the scientific method for convincing.

3. The American Dream: 21st Century Style. Are you sinking in debt because you buy all sorts of crap you don't need on the shitty salary you earn? Are you fat because you eat at Mickey-D's five times a week? Are you miserable because you haven't found true love online yet or gotten that Malibu dreamhouse that you're convinced you deserve? Has The Man got you down? Don't be discouraged! All of these things are still firmly within your reach! Despite every single possible bit of evidence to the contrary, the streets are still paved with gold! Rather than get mad about the fact that you are being simultaneously fucked from every direction on every possible level, just use...

Here it is, folks!

Tibetan Gong...

Flash of light...

Close-up of the Eternal Flame burning bright...

(Have you pissed your pants yet?)

THE SECRET!

And it really is so simple, you can sum it up in ten words or less without leaving anything out. How you feel about things directly affects their outcomes. That was just nine words!

Yep, folks, that's all. By thinking it, you make it happen. Through the Law of Attraction, you draw to you what you put out. The Universe is listening to your every whim and all you have to do is think positive to make it come true. You don't have to try. You don't have to sacrifice. You don't have to be a good person. Hell, you don't even have to get up off your couch! The best scene in this fakeumentary was the shot of the fat man in his recliner tripping out as he imagined zooming down suburbia in his sexy new sports car. Hallucinate enough and POOF! that sexy sports car will be sitting in your driveway with two blonde beachgirls draped over the hood.

Hold my hair back while I puke all over the carpet.

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Wow, that sounds like a great plan. Is this just a movie? Do they have it in book format? I want an entire franchise telling me how to fantasize a new reality into existence. Thanks for the tip V!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

*holds Ves's hair*

You are so smart when you're sexy.

The Secret? never heard of it.

All of that Free Mason shit never interested me. Don't get me wrong, back in 1700s it was a legitimate cult. And it's ideals were sound and legit, for the era.

And there is some truth to the notion that to think it is to bring it about. That is how our species has risen above the mundane existence of beasts.

I think however that Western culture needs to re-evaluate what matters. There is this whole idea these days (even among, or might I say ESPECIALLY among, Evangelical Christians) that wealth and prosperity are inherit to the human experience.

The only thing inherit to being human is pain, loss, and questioning. Everything else is a diversion.

[Vesnic]

The only thing inherit to being human is pain, loss, and questioning. Everything else is a diversion.

You said it, ChubChub!

This movie would have won at least a tiny bit of respect from me if it at least acknowledged all the work that must occur between the dream and the reality.

This reminds me (and I know this has come up here before) of the eternal plight of the Underpants Gnomes.

1.) Get underpants.
2.) ?
3.) Profit!

It's that crucial middle step that people never want to be burdened with.

Oh, and here's some more well-deserved ridicule that a more reliable friend just sent to me to ease my rage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usbNJMUZSwo

[ChubbyTeletubby]

LOL!

Leave it to South Park.

This whole 'self-help' phenomena that runs so rampant in our country these days really speaks to the level of stupidity among our fellow citizenry.

Even my brother, God bless him, who is ten times more successful than I'll ever be, buys into this shit. Abraham Lincoln didn't need a self-help books or movies, he helped himself to books!!!!

Every human experience is different. Pardon the over-used analogy, but you're born with the hand you're dealt.

No other human can ever hope to understand your hand. If you want something done right, do it yourself. We're looking for easy answers. The questions are easy, the answers are hard.

Get over it.

Back to movies. Anyone remember 'The Burbs?

Great flick!