Happy Caress the Rest Day!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Delimma : Boss is going to jail on Tuesday.

Boss is having a party in the Hyatt Saturday.

Lots of coke.


Delimma? My allergies are flaring up again. I'm not sure my nostrils can handle that much coke.


Fucking global warming. Fucking tree pollen.

Oh - I also get paid tomorrow. In cash. RIGHT before the party.


Great.

This is gonna be an epic one, guys.


Jesus Christ help us. I havent done coke in a while. Like...five years? 2006. Wow. More like 6 years. WOW.

Time. Anyway...


I'm either gonna get so horny I have to rape the first closest person or I'm gonna get so paranoid I have to hide in a closet.





Don't read too much into that last sentence.

I'm gonna be snorting lotsa coke Saturday night. Stay tuned.

EDIT: Worth creating an entirely new topic? No.

Its cocaine tho, guys. And he's got like...a lot. Kentucky coke. Hmmmm. We'll see. Something odd is bound to happen. When I snort thing into my brain it tends to affect the mainframe. That plain. Its insane.

Pain?

No pain. I'm not paying for the coke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


YAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's always been the story of my life. I dont pay for coke. When coke comes, I snort it. But I sure as Hell aint paying for it. That shit is EXPENSIVE. And CUT. And.....great. It IS great. Still.

[donteatpoop]

Have fun. Don't do too much.

Actually, this kind of sounds like the premise of a potential second Crack Dealers of America guild story.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Wow. Thanks, DEP. For the response.

I thought you hated my guts for some reason.

Really, thanks. YAY!!! DEP doesnt hate me.

Well....

He probably does. And should.

[Usoki]

Hey, you know more about this stuff than I ever will. Just... don't do anything stupid.

Err... strike that. That one's pretty hard to follow.

Don't die. Even corprinian primates are worth keeping around.

[donteatpoop]

Oh I hate you. Let's not get confused about that, definately hate you.

But don't think for a moment that this is exclusive only to you. I happen to hate everyone. I hate them almost as much as I love them, but sometimes more. There's an odd balance in my hatred and love for everyone. So although I hate you, I also love you. Especially our buttsex parties.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Understood.



EDIT: Usoki, thank you.

But you know not what you say. God forgive him.

Please.

Oh, Usoki. You know not what you say.

And hey, God. While I have your attention. How about no more pain and suffering?


No?

Okay.

Fuck you too, then.

[End Master]

Snort in moderation then kill your boss to save him the suffering of going to jail as a way of saying thank you for the free coke.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Will do.

(he's only going to jail for 2 months)


He beat his wife.



I know. I'm like "What?"

People go to jail for beating their WIVES?

This isn't the America I thought I knew.

[Bear Bipolar-Bear]

I once read a story about a young man who was destined for basketball greatness. Just on the eve of his career, he was invited by some friends to try cocaine for the first time. However, after sampling the drug, he went into cardiac arrest and died.

This is a sad story and I beg you, please don't abuse vile substances that do nothing but harm your insides and assault your soul. There are so many other ways to fill the yawning void, like friends and lemonade and teddy-bear picnics. Please, Mr. ChubbyTeletubby, don't do drugs. I've heard they're very, very bad for you!

[Locke]

If I liked the police even slightly more, it'd be pretty funny to let them know where to show up and bust you. I'd try to get them to wait till just after you got there, so you wouldn't have time to enjoy any of it.

The only drugs in my possession are the six beers I'm working my way through tonight, so I'd get some petty satisfaction out of the deal. And I'd get to take down a wife-beater for drug possession; I can't say I've done that before. Maybe I'd get a reward, or my name in the papers or something. There really isn't a downside to turning you in, is there? I might prefer to crash the party, but I'm sure it isn't worth the airfare. Hmm.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Everything is bad for you!

LIFE is bad for you!!

Thank you for your concern, Bear Bi-Polar Bear. Really.

I have friends. Not many. But a few. And we go on picnics. Usually the lemonade is spiked with drugs.

Seriously.

And they're bad drugs. SO....



If sobriety did it for me I wouldnt be surrounded by a litany of idiocracy.

But it does.

So I'm not.

Or something.

EDIT: And then we danced. And we danced and we danced. And we danced. Oh, how we danced.

[Bear Bipolar-Bear]

Ok, Mr. Chubby, I see you must do as you must. I myself am not an entirely innocent Bear. As you see, I have been known to keep scandalously late hours, and I once held a smoking cigarette in my paw while my friend was looking for something in her purse. She wouldn't listen to me any more than you will.

However, I am not here to lecture and make a better of myself. I do hope you enjoy yourself as best you can, Mr. Chubby. It seems to me that you need more happy things in your life. Remember bears are excellent companions. I sent everyone here an article yesterday that said 1/2 of British adults still cuddle their childhood teddy bears. You can too!

And Mr. Locke, I beg you please do not think further of turning in our friend Mr. Chubby. He is a troubled fellow and would certainly not benefit from time spent in prison. I believe his soul is too fine to withstand such things. I also believe you to be too worthy a fellow, good sir Locke of the famous name, to stoop to such calumny.

Wish me luck, friends, for tomorrow I begin my lessons in intermediate jousting at the Academy of Knightly Arts!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I do enjoy things. At times.