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[Vesnic]

God bless you, ChubChub.

Ye olde Mitt used to be my state guvnah, back when he was a raging socialist and established universal health care in Massachusetts.

But now he'll sing any old song.

He's outworn his usefulness.

You stand by with your...technology.

Over and out, Chubbermeister Meisterchubber.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I ran into ken again. He uh. Sped off. Am I that intimidating? Cool!!!! I'm like a bad ass. I need a new pair of sunglasses. And uh...like....a car that better defines my new social status. Bad ass.

Ya. I like that. "Ya, you better run bitch. I will slap the silly right out of you. I will slap you."

That's what bad asses say. Bad asses who take fish oil. Yeeeeeeeeeeah. Anyone here wanna start shit? End? Dep? Usoki? Oh okay. Didn't think so. That's right, keep walking. Don't start nuthin won't be nuthin! Dragavan? Feel froggy? That's what I thought!!!!!

Say hello to my little friend!!!!

Yes that's a penis, not an outtie. Yes, I do trim. Thanks for noticing. The rash? Prolly aids. I dunno.

[Vesnic]

My heart is bursting with aimless love.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

So is mine.

Free love. To anyone who wants it.

Even that adorable little cocksmoker ken.

Michaelrayholt, threadkiller...

Hell even locke.

Just kiddin, locke. Not the love part, but putting you lower on the list than michael. I still support his pissing in the sink tho. But uh ya.

Even those ingrates in afghanistan. Get it while its hot!!!!

Not romney tho. He's a sellout, a fraud, and a fucking murderer. Well....a mormon. Still.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

My last encounter with ken....

Okay. So...I'm bored on a work night. It's 1am. I'm at a fags house. What's new.

Just met the guy, another pal of mine (a vagabond with a rich dad.....

Okay. Back story. This vagabond with a rich dad is a pumpkin haired opiate addict who I absolutely adore. We worked at the same liquor store, holding down the fort on the late shift this last summer. The liqour store, wedged between the university of louisville and churchill downs was a fascinating "people watchers" paradise.

Anyway, come to find out he stole more than 8000 dollars from the store. He spent it all on opiates, opanas to be precise. I knew he had a rich daddy and received an allowance, so I wasn't surprised when every night he left me a little gift in the bathroom. Like doing a line of morphine....

Mmmmmmm......

Anyway, we stayed friends. He fought the charges, but his daddy cut him off)

Okay, so he's at a new boyfriends house. Well guess who this new boyfriends ex lover is?

Yup. Small world. So somehow word got to ken. Still not sure exactly how. Fags and their texting. Anyway. Ken shows up.

"This man destroyed my car!!" He screams. He's a lot shorter than I remember. Um the two fags start pushing each other.

Priceless scene. Ever seen two fags in a pushing match? Well, you should. So I stand up in all of my glory. Ken runs, jumps into his (now fixed) car, and speeds off. Amazing sight. I wasn't even going to start any shit.

But uh.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Wheels screeching tho. He really sped off recklessly. I feel like shit that he could've endangered someone. Then again its two thirty in the mornin. Who else is on the streets? Quite an empowering feeling though. Watching someone flea for their life. I almost felt like chasing him. A primordial hunter instinct.

I've done lots of dumb shit. Put the fear of god into a couple people. This time was different tho. It just was.

You're right, ves. God bless me.


Oh, fuck you, god.

Did I mention I hate god? I do. Not as much as mitt......close call, however.

God damn piece of shit phone.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Went over to my dealers on foot with a hammer. Caught them moving their 1980s projection tv outside. They're renovating. I fucking caught them both by surprise. Put the fear of god in them. Cops got called.

Ya fuckers I live it. You shoulda seen it ves. I was clint eastwood. If it wasn't for the fact I'm sober I woulda bashed both their skulls in.

Talk the talk fuckers.
I walk it. Seriously, anyone got a problem?

Didn't think so.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Putting the fear of god into people is its own intoxicant. My pals mother, who lives next door to my dealer, called me up screaming. "There's cops everywhere what did you do????"

I did what any man with a spine and a heart would do. Obviously my dealer, coward he is, has enough of an old school sense of being that he didn't give them my address. Smart move on his part.

Smart move. Wheelchairs are an amazing innovation. Modern science is amazing. But a hammer to the skull will still fuck ur day up.

I'm the cleanser. Cleansing the streets.

[Vesnic]

You know what else will fuck ur day up?

Getting a drunken call from your mother at 10:00 p.m. just three days after sitting down to a very meaningful and intensely soul-searching heart-to-heart in which everything was talked over and fixed and now it's just sunshine and rainbows and bunny farts.

I'm not really that naive. Yet I keep getting disappointed by shit like this. So something can't be right. To whom exactly do I owe this crushing sense of responsibility? I swear, a dust mote could fuck with my head if it really wanted to, so after that a shadow on the wall seems downright godlike.

I feel as though a shark ate out a chunk of my mid right back. Like, it really fucking hurts. But if I tell anyone, they'll come back with that ever-predictable, always asinine question: how'd you do that (to yourself)? I especially like the "to yourself" bit because it implies that I had nothing better to do one fine Sunday afternoon than go up to bat, overswing, and take out my own back in the process. I've been trying to think up some answers that would be sufficiently conversation killing, so I don't have to deal with any more of that semi-sentient scum known as humanity than I absolutely have to:

*Those satanic Black Mass orgies can get pretty crazy.
*I tripped on my black cat Bianca and fell headlong down the stairs.
*I was attempting to do my own stunt work, because you see I'm appearing in the next Michael Bay movie and my name is Me...oops I might have said too much there! It's not easy being a dumb brunette.
*I was becoming simultaneously intimate with both a klingon and his pet targ.
*YO MAMA

Any of those is better than the real, boring answer, which I don't even remember for sure but it probably had something to do with my car.

I gotta poo.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

My mom has "cut me off" because I won't accept jesus as my lord and savior. I can't comprehend the depths of her stupidity.

I still love her so much. But she is such a moron. She won't even make peace, call it a draw. Its amazing. I don't have the time. But anyone here reading this should draw the obvious conclusions.

I know you deal with chronic pain, ves. Its always on the back of my mind. I'm sorry. Sorry doesn't do much, however.

I'm mostly just amazed. Amazed. I'm a woman hater, by and large. You are the only woman I've ever met that I don't hate.

I know I'm hardly a man. And my experience is limited and I hardly have the right to condemn all women....


After thirty years tho, I kinda do.

And yes, ui assholes, I hang with fags. Doesn't mean I am one.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Sorry, again. I feel like such a lowlife now.

So many people with real issues. Like chronic pain.

The only real chronic pain I have is my own stupidity.

And hell, I probably do hate you. Never met a woman I didn't.

But you talk purty.

[Vesnic]

I know you deal with chronic pain, ves. Its always on the back of my mind. I'm sorry. Sorry doesn't do much, however.

Actually, I think it does. I grew up with my father's side of the family always proclaiming, "Sorry isn't good enough!" Really? Then what is good enough? Actually changing whatever it is that's wrong? That's not always possible. And then what? When all else fails, all we're left with is sorry, which will have to be good enough.

If my chronic pain is always in the back of your mind, then I don't really think you hate me.

If more of my friends had kept certain facts about me in the back of their minds, or in the front of their minds, and were occasionally just "sorry" without feeling the need to cure me or the equal and opposite need to push me away because they couldn't, then I would very probably be a happier and less lonely person today.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Things on the back of my mind.....

Meaning of life. Possibly loss of ego, we may all be the same person. We may all be god. Even the crickets.

Been mulling it over since I was seven. I think were all the same person. Sad but true.

My dads death.

Your pain.


Seriously, ves. I wouldn't lie. No reason to. But ya.

Take it for what its worth. Since I "met" u on the forums.

I've said some pretty abusive stuff thru the years. I'm a destructive man. Not sure why. Just am. Thanks for your amazing posts. Really amazing.


Group hug.


Except ken.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Really, not trying to earn brownie points. Just being honest.

So there ya go.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Regardless, I'm prolly full of shit

Everyone else is.

I am clint eastwood in his mid twenties tho. Simple fact. Ask anyone in my hood. Te ehee. I'm a naughty lil boy.

I really was. Clint eastwood.

I didn't even pull out the hammer!!! Heheehee

Oh me! I'm so insatiable!!! And slightly adorable. When I'm not wielding a hammer intent on murder. Or....what's the crime when u kill simple.primates?