Dear Ves

[End Master]

I regret to inform you that this place is a uncultured sinkhole, infested by a barbarian rabble that are apathetic to such intricacies of civilization.

While a few of the inhabitants here find your words pleasing and even insightful, I believe that most would prefer to discuss their odious personal habits such as glass dick sucking, corporate dick sucking, or sexing up someone's mother. (Which presumably involves plain old dick sucking)

I fear that I cannot help prevent your continued alienation as I am also part of the problem. Indeed I may be one of the main instigators at times, but movies or games about zombies (of any kind) and rape (of any kind) aren't going to play or watch themselves, so you can see my dilemma.

Anyway, just keep your head up and while I can't lie to you about your chances that Locke might actually help you out and NOT delete his posts, you do have my sympathies.


Also:

HEY THREADKILLER I PISSED ALL OVER YOUR FAGGOT ASS ICP COLLECTION AND THEN ASS FUCKED YOUR MOM SO HARD THAT I SHOT MY LOAD RIGHT THROUGH HER COLON AND OUT OF HER MOUTH. IT WAS GOOD AND SHE PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN.

THEN I SOLD HER TO A TRAVELING GYPSY CAMP (VES' FAMILY LOL) AND THEY PASSED HER AROUND LIKE A BONG AND CHUBBY TRIED TO SMOKE METH THROUGH HER BLOODY ASS BUT HE JUST GOT A FACE FULL OF BLOODY SHIT (WITH CORN) INSTEAD LOLOLOLOL!

Oh and I think DEP got a cut of the profits on Google or something.

[donteatpoop]

Threadkiller, are you paying attention? This is how you troll.

You know I was thinking about it and TK is kind of in an awkward position. He was clearly looking for a place to troll and he walked into troll nest. lol.

Here-here though. I fear we will never live up to Vesnic's high standards.

[Dragavan]

He was clearly looking for a place to troll and he walked into troll nest.

There has never been a truer statement than this.



What I find so odd about it is that I generally detest trolls online. I mean, I really hate them... to the point that I have banned several people for it on other forums I have helped moderate (or flat out ran) in the past... But I always come back here every day to see the new post and be a part of this community. This place is almost nothing but trolls, but I don't feel like it's trolling here, so it doesn't bother me. Odd.

[Vesnic]

I regret to inform you that this place is a uncultured sinkhole, infested by a barbarian rabble that are apathetic to such intricacies of civilization.

Dear End Master,

Balderdash!

Humbug!

Flibbertigibbet!

I don't believe a word you've said...well, perhaps excepting that bit about people finding me pleasing and insightful. That I'm perfectly willing to believe. But the rest is a lot of hogwash, and here's why:

If you were in fact the uncultured, barbaric rabble that you claim to be, you would

a.) not be literate enough to frequent a writing site

b.) not have the necessary self-knowledge to even be cognizant of your identity as uncultured, barbaric ruffians.

So basically I'm calling you all a bunch of phonies. You ape the prevailing culture without actually owning it. Your act of mimicry is itself a creative performance, because there is a lot more going on in each of you than you'd want the world to know. That is why I keep trying to push the walls out a bit. Although zombies and rape certainly have their place, (and I have shown myself quite capable of playing in this particular sandbox), there is yet a great deal more beyond those boundaries that a bunch of misfit thinkers such as yourselves could easily explore. And many of you have.

I am alienated not because I have suddenly found my khaki-shorted self amidst the wild Oogabooba tribe, but because I have found myself on a strange sort of stage where the khaki-shorted inhabitants are all wearing Oogabooba costumes. This play has run a very long time, the sets are all battered, the paint is peeling, and the audience has a bad habit of leaving half-drunk slushies all over the floor. Sticky business. What's next?

I am never comfortable with myself. People seem to get the chickenpox by proxy when near to me. I try not to impose my own philosophy on others, in the sense that I don't force it against their prone and unwilling minds, like the mad rapist featured in every single EndMaster story. However, I make no bones about promoting my philosophy, and my philosophy is this: that chickenpox is the purpose of life. If you're not itchy, you're in trouble.

Complacency, boredom, apathy, all of these are delicious salves. Even the Oogabooba costumes are outfitted with fans that keep you cool and refreshed as you strut and fret your hour. But is that all there is? A great big raspberry slushy, Xbox, air conditioning and then...no more.

I'm itchy, but I'm only contagious if you want me to be. Once you get this particular disease, you might find that it makes you more alert, since the itch keeps sleep away and even the largest of calamine baths won't cure you of the sheer sense of possibility. I've seen so much implosion, inversion and plain old-fashioned entropy, that I am desperate for change.

Shouldn't we be asking, no, demanding, more of our world? Why should we be content with a few cliched games, or a few bucks from Google, or a few tasteless rape jokes? Those are all very nice and worthy of being passed on to posterity. But they're not enough.

Not for me.

And also, I believe, not for you.

Love always.

Your friend,

Ves

[End Master]

Damn it, she found everyone out.

What? Come on, you all knew when we first started this that it wasn't going last forever. Chubby wasn't even smoking meth the whole time, it was an inhaler for fuck's sake. (He still gets drunk on the finest champaign like a true gentleman though)

Guess we better break out the monocles and top hats folks, this exercise in going "native" is over.

On to the next bit of business...

I for one have always enjoyed this piece of art.



For those that may not be aware it is called the Rape of Persephone. I find this is one of the better physical representations of the story. It displays Hades as he was meant to be. The noble King of the Underworld and taking what he saw as his right to take.

And why not? I mean he was doing the job nobody else wanted because as the eldest sibling he had to be the responsible one. Meanwhile the rest of his siblings partied non stop up in Olympus and his spoiled brat youngest brother Zeus was raping everything that had legs and didn't really do shit except throw a temper tantrum when things didn't go his way despite having the best job.

Besides, it wasn't really rape anyway, Persephone wanted to go with him (It's true!). Just more slander against ol' Hades. He always gets a bad rap in movies and tv shows due to the ignorance of the general population who insist on comparing him to the Christian Satan or Lucifer if you prefer.

[Vesnic]

Mythology is chock-full of fantastic rapes. I've always loved the Rape of the Sabine Women, which has inspired some lovely sculpture and painting. And just so you know that the bespectacled and betophatted set also enjoy a good forced intercourse joke, a few years ago a Viennese museum's shop got into the habit of printing, in big block Jugendstil letters on its gift bags, "I come from the place where the Sabine women were raped!". A badge of pride, indeed. They had the following picture in their collection:



My favorite, though, is the attached image of the statue. I wonder why it is that art so often depicts rape as an act of aerial acrobatics, full of sinuous lines and exciting curves that almost succeed in whitewashing the gruesome reality of what's happening. I suppose anything can become art...in the right hands.

And I agree about poor old Hades. Not a bad chap, really. Just unlucky at drawing lots. That's what I love about the Greeks. Their fatalism. They acknowledge just how humongous a difference a little luck (or lack thereof) can make.

[End Master]

I wonder why it is that art so often depicts rape as an act of aerial acrobatics, full of sinuous lines and exciting curves that almost succeed in whitewashing the gruesome reality of what's happening.

Yeah, I actually always wondered that too. In that painting it looks like they're performing some sort of clumsy ballet rather than an act of sexual violation.

Hell, it almost looks like some of soldiers are having a hard time even lifting up the women. Especially the guy in the green cloak, he looks like he's about to fall over while attempting to pick up the woman with the blue dress. Though a different standard of beauty concerning weight I guess is playing a part here as far as how they represented women back then.

[Vesnic]

Hell, it almost looks like some of soldiers are having a hard time even lifting up the women. Especially the guy in the green cloak, he looks like he's about to fall over while attempting to pick up the woman with the blue dress.

LOL! Perhaps you have discovered the real birth of Realism.

[End Master]

Speaking of the boring mundanes, I was recently forced to endure a wedding with hundreds of them which wasted my whole day when I could've been writing in my own isolated cave of misanthropy and occasionally making the odd dick joke here in this fine establishment (with you equally fine upstanding folks).

Not that it wasn't without its more colorful characters, it's just I don't have much in common with any of them, so like many times before at large social gatherings, I emulated the wily ninja and slipped away into my own world on several occasions by finding secluded spots where I could and generally not speaking to anyone unless I had to. It worked for the most part.

The vapid bride and whipped groom were actually Katie's sister and her boyfriend. They wanted to write their own vows, but after a few attempts they openly admitted they weren't good with words or smart enough so they had Katie write their vows for them, which sort of defeated the purpose I thought. Actually they wanted my help too, but Katie did most of the work since she tends to be more helpful and friendlier than I am.

Anyway as much as Katie's sister is very annoying, her husband is okay I guess (if a bit weak) so it'll make having to spend time with them less of a punishment in the inevitable future. One major plus is they're usually willing to play most board games at least once, though I still need to make sure it isn't an excessively complex or long one.

Of course no matter what we're playing I usually get accused by them of playing too cut throat sometimes. I'm really not though, I'm playing by the rules, which in most games has a single winner...so why wouldn't I be trying to win?

Besides it works against me sometimes anyway since I have "Dick Dastardly" syndrome where I'm usually playing so aggressively towards everyone that they ultimately unite against me so I don't win anyway.

But sometimes it's not whether you win or lose it's all about if you had the highest body count.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

All this talk of rape.

Its delightful.

Anyway, I shall do my part to up the ante, as it were. Ill still be drowning in a sea of my own stupidity, but if one of you will throw me a lifevest I might have a chance. I might even be able to contribute something insightful to the "conversation" around here.

I apologize, as well. I've said som hateful things about the limp dicked ingrates who infest the middle east/south central asia. I don't wish death on anyone. If anyone takes me serious (which I doubt), I'm sorry.

I'm just so sick of this war. I'm sick of this society. I'm sick of religion. I'm sick of being sick. I drink like a fish. I pop pills like they're skittles. And suck dicks. I mean glass dicks.
But worst of all, I have shut everyone else in my life out. Over the course of the last year I have destroyed most if not all of my meaningful relationships. Every word the leaves my mouth is meant to anger or offend.

What happens on these boards is just a smaller example of the whole. I don't read anything anyone writes because I don't care. I don't answer emails. Ect.

It has to stop.

Don't get me wrong. Most of these "friendships" I destroyed were a fucking fiasco. And fuck facebook. I still hate this fucking society and the litany of morons that make their way into my life. I feel like I could snap at any moment. When I see red...

It gets bad. The alcohol doesn't help. Meth actually levels me out.

But enough about me. This is was a thread about ves. Thank you, ves. For being. A bastion of of brilliance. We need you around here. I need you around here. Please don't go.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

This was written on my phone. Sorry about the errors. Can't really take the time to edit.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Greetings, old chaps! My relapse is fantastic!
My lips are cracked and dry. Perhaps I need chapstick.
Bleeding tigre blood
It isn't a fact or an actual happening
Im weak and at last I'm asking
Luster lackingly
The shadows are tracking me
I need a flack jacket
I admit my rants are rapidly lacking the impact
They had in the past and that's sad to me
These arent my pants but they are elastic
I'm at an impass and this can't last
Its dastardly. I'm a bastard and can't act rationally
I'm a man who smokes plastics in glass dicks
And posts pics with a placid bliss and a flacid...
In a classic stroke fate has forecast this
I'm lost and I'm grasping for any tangible lasting thing
I'm I on pangea? Is this the jurassic?
My casket is my own and in a trance I am prancing in a lancing fashion

But as I fast approach the last lap
And as I practice my low and drastic disasterous actions
I imagine I'm mastering the pasturing the other sheep
Impractically

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Stampede for feed while I eat grass
My gasket is leaking gas but my ass
Is held fast and no freaking masked man
Can pass. I'm sassy but not nasty
I'm fasting and lost fat
I'm at my lowest when my task is practicing
What I preach

And sin is hastening my demise is facing me
But I'm alive and waking dreams
Are beamed into me by my own forsaken
Tho keenly unawakened
Half baked faking of what makes taking your own life
Graceful instead of untasteful
Its a waste of what may still trace its way into space
And alien places

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Soul or no soul in case you need explaining
Is this the only dull and dreary existence I'm
Meant to maintain? The draining of my profane
Insane waning is the meaning I've been strainging to engage
My own demons when only they seem like
The only homies who aren't phonies
Its satiating the emaciating masturbating I do daily in front of old ladies who pay me
Et phone home
Chubby phone no drone so alone I've only grown prone to showing no emotion in so many erosions of body and mind into an ocean of no motion
No tides and no boats and no floating dopes like me so no hope I drown and no oath or orttaken can save me from opposing the hosing of all those hos I suppose don't knowim a dope fiemd but see freely the unreal reach of religion so evil but even I once believed in

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Its treason my reasoning
Its not in season
I see no feasible
Decency left in this mind
So find an easier guy to lie to