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  • #1

    Bowm Chicka Bowwwwm Bowwwwm!

    You're all a bunch of irrevocable philistines, hopeless sophomoric sots who don't deserve one pixel of virtual space.

    But, I love you guys. And I'm horny. And god dammit, I've got a bad reputation to defend!

    So, in honor of all the mumblings and grumblings I've heard in relation to this year's IWT topic, and in light of the new-ish suggestions (which were probably at the back of everyone's mind anyway), I venture that you should all step forth boldly and glorify the internets with some well-written, jerktastically ecstatically sexybombastically BUT STILL WELL WRITTEN...

    PORNOGRAPHY!

    The way I'm going to work this is thusly: if you are still interested in/have already begun an allegory, please do continue. The contest this year will be a choice between allegory or porn or, if you're truly adventurous and unbelievably talented, PORNOGRAPHIC ALLEGORY!!! (or is it allegorical porn?) Either way, if you could pull that off, it would probably cinch the prize.

    Oh Lord, what has become of me?
    Last edited by Vesnic; 10-12-2011, 07:13 PM.
    My sanity, my soul, or my life.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Seriously Ves, you had to know deep down that it could ONLY end this way.


    Well anyway, good luck to all that enter and remember anything goes because hey, it's porn!
    Writing: It's more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys!

    Comment

    • #3
      The only problem I can see with this is reading through them all and voting. My keys are going to stick together for sure.
      The organ is grinding but the monkey won't dance.

      Comment

      • #4
        SpermGuard by Cinco. Works great.



        I'm willing to give this a shot, but I've never had actual sex with an actual person who actually happens to exist, factually. Much less a conscious woman. Do men actual stick their members into that disgusting, infection prone orifice called a 'vagina'?

        Ewww.

        Is that how you people replicate? Mammals are gross.

        You people make me sick.

        As a chronic masturbator with little to no actual human contact, I've always thought of human on human sex as a myth perpetrated by the media. I guess I was wrong.

        Originally posted by Vesnic View Post

        The way I'm going to work this is thusly: if you are still interested in/have already begun an allegory, please do continue. The contest this year will be a choice between allegory or porn or, if you're truly adventurous and unbelievably talented, PORNOGRAPHIC ALLEGORY!!! (or is it allegorical porn?) Either way, if you could pull that off, it would probably cinch the prize.

        Oh Lord, what has become of me?
        Oh, I'll pull it off, alright.
        Last edited by ChubbyTeletubby; 08-07-2008, 07:29 PM.

        Comment

        • #5
          I dunno, Chubb's got a point. I feel like I'm at a serious disadvantage, here. Virginity intact, minimal viewing experience... I've only got a year or two of porn against you vets of the vag!

          Think of all the research I'm gonna have to do to catch up. Mmm...
          Originally posted by Ryan_DuBois
          Usoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
          And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.

          Comment

          • #6
            Y'all's big writing event of the year, and you gotta use it to sleaze up the site? Damn. I's sorry to hear about this.
            Holla from Philly, Montgomery style.

            Comment

            • #7
              Considering there's no pressure or motivation to compete, I wouldn't call it the big writing event of the year. Heck, it's a forum started tradition that stuck around because no one felt like stopping it. We all just do it because we're bored.

              Or at least that's how I've always seen it. XD
              Originally posted by Ryan_DuBois
              Usoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
              And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Usoki View Post
                I dunno, Chubb's got a point. I feel like I'm at a serious disadvantage, here. Virginity intact, minimal viewing experience... I've only got a year or two of porn against you vets of the vag!

                Think of all the research I'm gonna have to do to catch up. Mmm...
                Remember, you can still choose to do an allegory. This will probably win you a lot more points in the "plot" department, since we'll be using the same criteria as last year. You don't HAVE to write porn, in fact I'd be happy if not everybody did because in my opinion, once you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.

                My main concern is that people actually contribute to the contest. I think it has the potential to keep people motivated and isn't necessarily just a boredom killer. However, the majority of people here weren't responding well to the idea of writing an allegory, so in the interests of actually having a contest with contestants, I needed to expand the category.

                I am thinking of giving a slight scoring advantage to those who write an allegory, but I haven't made any conclusive decisions about this yet.
                Last edited by Vesnic; 10-12-2011, 07:14 PM.
                My sanity, my soul, or my life.

                Comment

                • #9
                  The problem I'll have with the contest is staying on topic as usual. Even with something as simple as porn I see myself forgetting about the focus on sex and concentrating on something silly like "plot" and "dialogue".

                  Plus anytime I've tried to write a straight up porn story it usually ends up mixing with a lot of violence as well.

                  I'll try to keep this genuinely "arousing" for "normal" folks, but I'm not making any promises.

                  Though I guess if I get really motivated (Ha ha) I could attempt to do that porn allegory story.
                  Writing: It's more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Fuck it, I'm going with what I do best. I never win these contests anyway.

                    I have a cunning plan to attempt to make the story a little different though. I'm calling my story "Exploitation Theater."
                    Writing: It's more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Plot DOES still matter, though. Remember, this is one of the criteria used to judge the stories. Seeing as most people are probably going to write porn, then I anticipate that the plot marks will be pretty low all around. So it would give you an edge if you did work in a plot, assuming of course that it's not in inverse proportion to enjoyment. You see? Porn is trickier than you'd first imagined.
                      Last edited by Vesnic; 10-12-2011, 07:14 PM.
                      My sanity, my soul, or my life.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Did somebody order Pizza? a story by donteatpoop
                        The organ is grinding but the monkey won't dance.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sven Smokevich View Post
                          Y'all's big writing event of the year, and you gotta use it to sleaze up the site? Damn. I's sorry to hear about this.
                          Lol. The man who isn't aware that there is more to the site than forums is upset with the topic. Prior to this change, we were such a high class writing community, too.

                          My story will be about Sven's penis. It will be a very short story.
                          Last edited by donteatpoop; 08-08-2008, 03:17 PM.
                          The organ is grinding but the monkey won't dance.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Other than Drag's story, it's not like we even have too many "regular" porn stories on here. So I doubt if we'll be "sleazing up" the site all that much.

                            Seriously I'm pretty damn sure that any one of us on these forums (Porn addicts or prudes alike) could still write better and more meaningful porn than someone at CHYOO2 mainly because it usually takes like 10 of them to even write one story that 10 "rooms" long.
                            Writing: It's more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Here I was going to wait for ISv2.0 before writing more! I think this story contest will be a challenge. Pretty awesome Ves. I'm in. 2023 could have been entered last year. I'm not going to miss my opportunity this year.

                              I might have to bust out the webcam for this one.
                              http://forums.infinite-story.com/pro...st=ignore&u=36

                              "The Secret" was right. You were thinking about adding Megaman to your ignore list. And it almost came true! The universe sends you this hyperlink to make your job a lot easier. Click it now.

                              Comment

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