Hemmingway Challenge (NOT!)

[xnull]

Everyone knows the old Hemmingway "6 word story" challenge. It's been overdone at this point.

So here's a challenge: write a story in one sentence, but make the sentence as long as you possibly can whilst keeping it both readable and clear.

I don't have time to do it right now, so if someone else could take a swing at the plate...

[Locke]

If you haven't heard of the Faux Faulkner Contest, you ought to look to look it up; I'm sure they've entries posted somewhere.

[xnull]

Oh nice. Okay, here is another challenge. James Joyce competition. Make as many references you can per sentence and make each sentence as unreadable as possible.

I guess this thread can be devoted to oversimplifying a famous writer's writing style with the purpose of forming a contest that nobody will participate in.

[apotheosis]

In that case, the R L Stine writing contest. It is essentially madlibs where you insert monosyllabic children's names, ridiculous "spooky" monsters and threats, random settings and locations, and M Night Shyamalan quality plot twists. You then proceed to make millions.

[Usoki]

How 'bout Ann Rand? Start writing a novel heavily influenced by your personal philosophies. Halfway through, forget it's a novel you're writing- just start writing an essay.

[Ryan_DuBois]

Heh, heh.

The sad truth is that if not for R.L., I probably wouldn't have read half as many books as I have today. I have like everyone of his Goosebumps books in an old closet around here somewhere...

After I got bored with him, it was on to bigger and better writers.

Like Gary Paulsen, J.K. Rowling, and that little girl who wrote Anne Frank... what was her name again?

Oh, and Jonathan Rand. You guys know him? He's R.L. Stine in Disguise.

Then I read J.R.R. Tolkien's "Big Four". Then I read about half of Stephen King's Books (not stretching the truth here, unfortunately). And nowadays I'm working on reading all of the super-famous novels that they didn't make me read in school, like J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, and Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird.

A little Cormac on the side.

Some math texts.

And a touch of Richard Dawkins and Susan Blackmoore.

Little Pinker.

Some of Hawking's popular science, as well as some of those compilations he just leaves commentary on.

And I'm contemplating reading a bit of David Foster Wallace... I've heard only good things.

Anyway, ya. R.L. Stine has drastically changed the course of my life... probably for the worse. I owe him and his horrible writing my eternal gratitude.

[apotheosis]

I read goose bumps up until 3rd grade when I was reading 1 per half hour and my parents said it was too expensive of a habit to upkeep. I then moved on to gary paulsen and that sort of crap, and then I discovered Stephen King. I was big into Stephen King from 6th to 9th grade along with a bunch of science fiction and fantasy. Then in 10th grade I discovered real books like Dante's Inferno, Moby Dick, Paradise Lost ect. Then I just stopped reading because the internet killed my attention span.

[Ryan_DuBois]

Stephen King in 6th grade?!

Wow, that's pretty impressive. I don't think I started reading him until 8th grade, at least (maybe 9th). Obviosly he's not one of the greatest writers of our time, but he's got some pretty large books.

[apotheosis]

To be fair, the second book I tried to read of his, The Stand, I was 11 or 12 and I never got through it. 400 pages of intro were to much for me. I think Desperation was one of my favorites. I felt naughty since Stephen King writes about sex and I was little.

[Locke]

Most of the books I enjoyed when I was younger didn't stand the test of time very well. I somehow loved the Animorphs, though the writing, looking back, is just terrible; same goes for Terry Brooks, but to a lesser degree. I stopped getting allowance in sixth grade (I was supposed to do various things to earn it, but finally slacked off for so long the practice passed out of memory), but till then I shelled out whenever I had enough for those books. I've still got a soft spot for the longer Gordon Korman novels; I read those to rags. I was a CYOA fan as a kid, of course; I stopped off a lot at a used bookstore where they took trade-ins and picked them up. They were my comics.

SK always tells a good story, but I so often feel unfulfilled when I finish reading; I think "From a Buick 8" was the worst, though I like an idiot ignored the warning and read the very end of the Dark Tower series. I enjoyed reading "On Writing."

I loved mysteries back then, and a few of the classics, but I got older and spent a short time in Horror (I regret most of Dean Koontz) and thrillers (I can't stand Clancy anymore) before ending up reading mostly F&SF.

[Ryan_DuBois]

I thought IT, and The Tommyknockers, and On Writing were all good novels from Stephen King... I'd agree that he's put out some bad stuff, though. Never read From a Buick 8, but Lisey's Story was pretty rotten.

As for the Dark Tower series... I thought it was mostly good (some of it was fantastic, even) but I didn't care for the 6th installment. And the ending left a huge hole in my heart.

I always thought that ChubbyTeletubby acted exactly like Eddie Dean.

[apotheosis]

same goes for Terry Brooks,

I loved Terry Brooks Running with the Demon series trilogy when I was younger. I read them basically as they came out.

[Usoki]

Heh, I never really bought many books. I'd do fantasy from those book orders / book fairs the elementaries'd put on, but that was about it. The library was great for Animorphs, but for the most part I'd just faithfully reread what I had. Wrede's Dragon series was kind to me, and I loved Norton Juster's The Phantom Tollbooth. Then I shifted into Harry Potter, and Adams' Hitchhiker series. Kept Adams, but ditched Rowling in favor of David Drake's Isles series. Jasper Fforde has some witty stuff worth mentioning too, I suppose. But a lot of my writing style comes from Juster and Adams. Or so I like to pretend. Faithfully collecting Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot couldn't've hurt, either.

I never read Lewis' Narnia Chronicles until my last year of high school, and I've still never actually finished reading Tolkein's trilogy.

[End Master]

Here's a Hemmingway Challenge: Make it past your 61st year without blowing your head off with a shotgun. Right now I'm attempting the Jesus Challenge of not getting crucified during my 33rd year. (So far so good)

I probably tend to read more non-fiction books than actual novels. Mostly crime or historical stuff. Anything fictional tends to be in comic form or in the humor section. I usually get some of those conspiracy/weird religion books too since I find all that stuff interesting to read even if I don't believe it.

Recently I've been regularly picking up the new wave of "Monster Hunter" type books that have been coming out probably due to the success of the Zombie Hunter book.

The best ones that have been done are the "Van Helsing Diaries" series. They had one for Demons, Vampires and Dragons. They're oversized books written in a style like as if one the Van Helsing family had really written it down. Has some cool artwork, these fold-in/fold outs (Like maps) and sealed "letters" in pockets inside the book which contain more information. (They're almost like "R" rated pop-up books)

[wolfen44]

Hey this sounds really good ill see what i can scrap up from the bottom of my spinal cord
But if you want something hard try being in my Creative writing class... A 2000 word story on how universe came to be with creative character bio's. That's fun