Tales from our collective past

[Leblanc4prez]

Shippo: I don't post much in this thread.

[Leblanc4prez]

I have had quite a hard life. I always knew I was different from everyone else. Nobody wanted to know me. Many times I attempted suicide. When I was about 9. My doctor at the time thought I might have Add and prompty put me on Dex Amphetemine. Although it helped, It made me a zombie. I couldn't sleep, I loost all apetite and my individualality was gone. The when I was about 11, a new doctor realised I had Aspergers Syndrome.

I was taken off the dex, but this just added to my problems. I started to gain weight. I was always quite skinny, but by now my metabalism was fucked. I just got so fucking hungry. Now the only drug I am on is Zoloft, and that's only for my depression.

Thanks for reading... I feel better...

[donteatpoop]

The origins of my beer snobbery

My dad used to buy the worst beer, based entirely on my willingness to drink it. For a long while he bought Busch, but then I started drinking it when I got into my teens. Then, when I was about 15; he wisened up and bought Genessee Cream Ale (I still gag just seeing the name). I didn't touch that stuff, what that meant was that I had to find other ways to get beer.

I soon turned 16 and several of my friends did as well; some of us who worked in grocery and convenience stores now had access to cases of beer. For anyone who has been in on stealing beer as an employee, it's usually a simple case of setting it outside and having someone pull up in a car and pick the sixer/twelve-pack/case up.

We went through some beers and it wasn't long before I decided that there were only two beers worth drinking: Rolling Rock and Killians. Keep in mind that I made this proclamation at the age of 16. For two years that's all I drank; a cheap pale ale and a poor excuse for an amber lager.

When I was 18 I went to a graduation party where there was a keg of Budwieser. Despite my preferences, I drank two or three glasses from the keg before one of the friend's crazy old uncle's told me that I wasn't drinking real beer.

"You're Irish, right?" He asked. (everyone assumes I'm Irish because of my red hair)

"Yeah," I said. (I don't usually get into the whole "actually I'm German, most Irish don't have red hair" debate)

"You need a real beer. Come with me," he said; leading me over to a half-keg that had a bunch of strange hoses connected to it.

He asked for my cup and I gave it to him. He poured the cup up slowly, a liquid that was almost black filling the contents of my plastic cup. It had a creamy-white head at the top and he handed it over to me.

"That's the kind of beer a man drinks," he said.

I sipped from it. My tastebuds lied to me and told me that it was nasty, but clearly I was just not prepared for the awesomeness that I had just tasted. He looked at me expectantly, an evil smile on his face. He was probabl waiting for me to spit it out.

But I didn't want to appear to be anything other than a man and since he claimed that this was the stuff that men drink, I closed my eyes and took down the contents of the cup.

"Not bad," I said to him. I handed him my cup in the hopes that he would pour another for me.

I had expected his smile to fade, but he actually seemed to beam more fiercely than before. "I'll be damned," he said; filling my cup back up with the dark brew.

"You really are Irish, aren't you?"

Again I decided it best not to clarify.

"Yes, sir."

He handed me the glass and I took a sip, it actaully did taste good this time. That it was thick was disgusting to me at first, but this time I found it to be a positive quality. For the rest of the night I drank exclusively from that keg.

I was later informed that I was drinking Guiness.

I still drink Guiness from time to time, but have branched off to less 'main stream' brews; sampling here and there from what few beer specialty stores are in my area.

[Vesnic]

This isn't a story, but I just had to respond. I fucking love Guinness. It makes me a real woman. It puts hair on my chest. I would take Guinness over sex on most days. If someone broke my neck, but then hooked me up to a Guinness IV, I would not only forgive them, I would thank them for saving my life. That is how much I love that dark-as-dungeons, creamy-headed liquid spell of pure bliss.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

It's funny, DEP.

I didn't start with the beer until age 20.

I was living in Colorado, home of the Micro-breweries, when a friend handed me a bottle of 'Winter Warlock', an oatmeal stout brewed locally.

I was hesitant. "I don't like beer," I said. My friend insisted. I obliged.

The rest is history.

I thought you were Irish, too. In fact, I insist that you are. You look Irish, therefore you are.

[Vesnic]

Nah, Chubs, it's true what the Poopyman says. The friend I'm going to visit in DC has a similar complexion. She's a redhead but her features are Germanic. She first liked me because I guessed her ethnicity as German and not Irish "like everyone else". But then again I'm good at that sort of thing. Der Poopsmann ist SUPERDEUTSCH.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

You know, even after all these years though...

I'd rather claim Irish than German. Irish is quaint. Irish is high tempered but cuddly.

German is death camps and bratwurst. German is war. German is angry and evil.

Irish, even with the car bombings and whatnot, is fairy tale. Green. Happy. Island. Yay!

German? Der Juden ist Und veingschaulderhaigen vlachter fluten eins vlederschootzen der routten die ver schinzten!

And Germany still hates the Jews. Silly Germans! At least they gave us Einstein. And um...sauerkraut. Mmm.

I have had quite a hard life. I always knew I was different from everyone else. Nobody wanted to know me. Many times I attempted suicide. When I was about 9. My doctor at the time thought I might have Add and prompty put me on Dex Amphetemine. Although it helped, It made me a zombie. I couldn't sleep, I loost all apetite and my individualality was gone. The when I was about 11, a new doctor realised I had Aspergers Syndrome.

I was taken off the dex, but this just added to my problems. I started to gain weight. I was always quite skinny, but by now my metabalism was fucked. I just got so fucking hungry. Now the only drug I am on is Zoloft, and that's only for my depression.

Thanks for reading... I feel better...

Leblanc, mellow out, my man. We all face this life alone. I'm sorry about your hardships. We all have our own.

Depression is common. I think you're brilliant dude. Just FOCUS on what it is you want and mellow out. You're brilliant, man. I mean that.

[donteatpoop]

You know, even after all these years though...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the one thing you're forgetting is that the Germans perfected the art of beer making; so much so that (as far as I know) we are the only ones who have ever dedicated monestaries to producing lagers.

A buddy of mine is a German, and his father is big into the German Culture, has an Oktober Fest every summer. This was the first year I went, as I didn't know this friend so well previously. He tried to dissuay me, telling me "the beer is good, but it's really boring; just sit down and drink while the authentic german bands play," but I went anyway and loved it. I'll definately be coming back next summer, I'll crash it if I have to.

I got there before the party really started and ended up helping set up a few tables and bringing up the bottles and putting them in the coolers. Warsteiners was the beer of choice, and while their lager leaves much to be desired; their dunkel is among the best.

I drank the fuck out of that beer, and ate a ton of grub. I didn't understand why someone brought pizza to the German Fest, but otherwise everything was great. The band picked up and played that crazy German music, and lots of guys were wearing leaderhosens and several chicks were dressed in authentic german dresses, whatever the official term for the dresses were they were hot.

What makes the whole thing really fucking humorous, is that the guys house is right in the middle of Youngstown's West Side, surrounded entirely by black people. I wouldn't call his area the ghetto, but the ghetto is only two streets over. Imagine a young black man trying to look hard while a bunch of older fat white people play live traditional German and dance traditional German dances.

It's funny as fuck.

Especially when we snuck away to the nearby park to smoke some dope and saw the looks on the faces on some of his neighbors. Their visages of estranged disgust was possibly among the funnier things I've seen in my life.

[Vesnic]

And Germany still hates the Jews. Silly Germans! At least they gave us Einstein. And um...sauerkraut. Mmm.

You do realize that Einstein was a Jew, right?

I know you're kidding, but you know, you're always kidding. And sometimes you just say stuff that's simply wrong. So I'll set you straight. Most Germans don't hate Jews. In fact, Germans are still laden with a huge sense of guilt and I am not being overly optimistic in saying that the entire nation has really benefited from a good deal of soul-searching in the last 60 years or so. Germans today are friendly, open-minded people who are hyper-aware of the evils of intolerance.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

You've both put me in my place.

I'll take a time out. I thought Einstein was Polish. I love Germans. They make good engines.

I blew it. I messed up.

And actually...I LIKE sauerkraut. Time for the next story!

[Vesnic]

A buddy of mine is a German, and his father is big into the German Culture, has an Oktober Fest every summer.

What kind of a German has an Oktoberfest in the summer? The real Oktoberfest is held in Munich and spans from late September into October. Hence the "Oktober" bit. Summer is a weird time for it.

several chicks were dressed in authentic german dresses, whatever the official term for the dresses were they were hot.

They're called dirndls.

[donteatpoop]

What kind of a German has an Oktoberfest in the summer? The real Oktoberfest is held in Munich and spans from late September into October. Hence the "Oktober" bit. Summer is a weird time for it.

Late September is still summer here. If it's not on the calendar, it sure as hell still feels like summer.

That aside, if they actually waited until October it would be cold as shit out side and no one would want to be there. Ohio sucks like that.

[Leblanc4prez]

This is the point where Psy would preclaim his love of all things German... What ever.. I go to the Woolongong Oktoberfest every year.

[donteatpoop]

This is the point where Psy would preclaim his love of all things German... What ever.. I go to the Woolongong Oktoberfest every year.

Are you a beer fanatic? What is your favorite kind of beer?

[Locke]

I like beer. I like English beer, actually; my favorites are both by Fuller's: London Pride and 1845 (delicious). After that are local microbrews, then various porters and stouts that aren't too heavy on the hops. Mackeson is some terrible stuff, by the way; never buy it. If I go to a convenience store, the best they'll have around here is Yuengling's Black & Tan, so if I really want some beer late at night I end up with that. DEP, I hope you still manage to party in some form now and again. You sound fun to be around.