Ok I think that I have been here long enough and you guys have known me for long enough what are your opinions of me. Lay them on me
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What do I think of you, Wolfen?
I think you're a super intelligent spider monkey who in reality goes by the name Mr. Bobo. You learned to type by watching re-runs of Murder She Wrote. Not sure how that worked, exactly. But you seem to have caught on pretty well.
Nicely done, for a primate with so low and worthless a pedigree. I wish I could rub you and molest you. Just like I wish Sean Connery would rape me in the shower, and THAT'S not gonna happen!
Well....not again. That's like a once in a lifetime type of thing. RAPE!
And it really is a great show, too (Murder She Wrote). Angela Lansbury is a GILF (Granny I'd Like to Fornicate). I know EndMaster would agree. He LOVES the old beavers. Sometimes he tells Katie he's going to the nursing home to visit his ailing Great Uncle, when in reality he's getting him some 97 year old booty. (Sorry End, the secret's out!)
I'm getting sidetracked.
Let's start over:
What do I think of you, Wolfen?
I think you're a super intelligent spider monkey who in reality goes by the name Mr. Bobo, who learned to type by watching re-runs of Murder She Wrote. Not sure how that worked, exactly. But you seem to have caught on pretty well.
How you learned to type in English and read and all that is another story for another day. Actually, I don't think you're a spider monkey. Spider monkey? What was I thinking? Am I a fucking idiot? Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I SHOULD put a bullet in my worthless head.
You're a chimpanzee with the brain of a chinaman. You were created in a lab in the Guangdong province, not far from the hustle and bustle of Hong Kong. Your brain came courtesy of a notorious rapist named Wang-Chung Dong-Long Lao Dong Chong Ching Chang Chong Wong Gong or the "Licker" as he came to be known. He licked his victims, you see, in case you haven't figured that out already. Actually that's all he did, but in China it's a crime punishable by brain removal and/or being force fed re-runs of Murder She Wrote.
In your case, or rather your BRAIN'S case, it was both
You learned English by watching re-runs of Murder She Wrote.
You came to America as a "gift" from the Chinese government. No one really knew what to do with you, so they pawned you off on Angela Lansbury, who has an unhealthy ape fetish.
Angela immediately fell in love with you and your adorable red ass. You now share a bed with her, and spoon feed her cream of wheat every night and every morning.
She takes her tea at two and her nipple rub at four. Her nipples remind you of Sean Connery for some strange reason.
Am I close?Last edited by ChubbyTeletubby; 05-19-2009, 09:18 AM.
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Examine Room
You're in your bed. Angela Lansbury is cuddling next to you after a night of hot passion. For some reason her nipples remind you of some old actor that you can't place at the moment due to your terrible headache.
A TV plays in front of you. On it is an old rerun of "Murder She Wrote". It is obnoxiously loud, only furthering the pain in your head.
There is a nightstand immediately next to you and it looks like the nightstand contains:
-A day old bowl of Cream of Wheat
-Your crumpled Chinese transfer papers
-A well thumbed copy of a porn magazine called "Monkey Business"
Status
-You are carrying nothing
-You have a terrible headache. The obnoxiously loud TV currently makes it feel like it's going to explode
-You have a colony of fleas infesting your hairy body
-Your ass is a bright red color. It makes school children laugh and Angela wet.
>_Writing: It's more fun than a barrel of Ebola ridden monkeys!
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_look porno mag
On the cover there is what looks to be a barely legal orangutang splayed out on a massive silverback mountain gorilla with a three foot long cock, their naughty parts blurred. Surrounding them are a band of howler monkeys, all masturbating. This month’s feature article is entitled, “101 Uses for the Banana”.
_read mag
You begin to “read” the magazine. The first "article" you "come" upon is one about seven chimps taking turns having sex with one baboon. Your member becomes engorged.
_masturbate
You begin pulling furiously at your member.
_masturbate harder
You masturbate harder.
_masturbate harder
You are already masturbating as hard as you can.
_squeeze balls
You begin squeezing your balls as you masturbate.
_squeeze balls harder
You squeeze your balls harder.
_squeeze balls harder
You are already squeezing them as hard as you can there, sport.
_ejaculate on Angela
You turn over to Angela and release your load all over her face. She doesn’t seem to mind.
+You have gained 5 exp.
>_Last edited by ChubbyTeletubby; 05-19-2009, 10:23 AM.
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_look bowl
You look closer at the bowl. That's not Cream of Wheat...
*Bowl of Cream of Wheat has become Bowl of Encrusted Ejaculate
_use bowl
I don't understand
_look fleas
They're itchy?
_use fleas
I don't understand
_scratch fleas
I don't understand
_scratch butt
I don't understand
_scratch red butt
Angela finds this cute. She decides to give you a flea bath. Your colony of fleas dies.
*Your hairy body no longer has a Colony of Fleas
*You gain 7 experience points.
>_Originally posted by Ryan_DuBoisUsoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.
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Florida --> Steamboat Springs, CO for the summer. Road trip! Procrastinated too much to spend time RPing, sadlyLast edited by Locke; 06-27-2014 at 12:16 AM.
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_look transfer papers
Your badly crumpled transfer papers are written entirely in savage Chinese scribblings. You cannot read them.
_?
Your badly crumpled transfer papers are written entirely in savage Chinese scribblings. You cannot read them.
_i know! but isn't my brain from fucking China!????
Shhhhhh.
_what?
Shhhhhh.
_don't fucking 'shhh' me, you son of a bitch!
- You have lost 5 exp.
_WHAT!?
- You have lost another 5 exp.
_that is jacked up, man! this game is rigged
Shhhhhh.
_shhhhhh
You shut the fuck up.
+You have gained 10 exp.
_read transfer papers
Your badly crumpled transfer papers are written entirely in savage Chinese scribblings. You cannot read them.
_read transfer papers
Fine! Fine! You want to know what they say!? They say ching chong chang chong wing wong ping pong. Happy? Fucking happy?
_no
Too bad.
_fine
Fine.
_fine
>_Last edited by ChubbyTeletubby; 05-19-2009, 05:38 PM.
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