The Second, Better IS Bar

[apotheosis]

Oooh! Oooh! I know! BUDWEISER! I'm right, right? Am I right? I'm right. Right?.

Even more watery than that, Coors Light. I was out on my deck a few nights ago drinking some with my friend, and I came to the realization that if someone took the can out of my hand and replaced it with a can of cold, mildly carbonated water, I would not notice. I do prefer no taste though to crappy taste. I've determined that when you want to spend less than 20 dollars a thirty pack you are really left with two price options, each one yielding two possible flavors. You can spend 13.99 and get either metallic spit flavored or ass flavored, or spend 17.99 and either get bottled water flavored or diluted skunk flavored.

I'll organize it a bit:

12-15 dollar range

Vaguely metallic taste mixed with human saliva:

Keystone Light
Busch Light
Natural Light

A hoppy taste, if the hops were eaten, digested, shit into a vat of mexican water, and then canned with some nail polish remover mixed in:

Busch Regular
Natural Ice
PBR (I know Chubby will contest this one, I find the stuff undrinkable)
Miller High Life
Milwaukee's Best

16-20 Dollar Range

Bottled Water Flavored

Bud Light
Miller Light
Coors Light

Skunky, vaguely beer flavored

Budweiser
Coors Regular

21 dollars +

What do you think, I'm made of money? Binge drinking anything in this price range is financial suicide unless you are gainfully employed.

And I guess that's my guide to budget beer for someone who doesn't know shit about beer. If I do have a few extra dollars to spend or if it is on sale, I will go for a pale ale, Rolling Rock or something like that, which is like the bottled water brands but actually has a tiny bit more substance, not too much though, because too much substance isn't good if you are drinking over a gallon of the stuff in one night.

Stay tuned for part II, budget Vodka.

[End Master]

In other news Caine's Kung Fu journeys have finally come to a surprising end.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b127...m_sex_act.html

[apotheosis]

I was sad to hear that Bill actually got killed in real life.

In other news, my mother needs to have a "serious talk" with me because I drank 12 beers and then decided to go out. (mind you, I was not drinking alone, but with a lightweight friend who could not handle more than 8 despite outweighing me by 60+ pounds). I'm not looking forward to tomorrow morning which will consist of many chores, long winded lectures on morality and how she understands what it is like to be college age, and quite possibly a mild hangover.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Try drinking a real man's beer.

Steel Reserve 211! 8.1% alcohol by volume, baby!

Either that or I just refill my gallon jugs down at the local brewery. I tried this mixture of Barley Wine/Belgium Trippel when I was down there the other day and it was OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it was 14% alcohol volume and DELICIOUS!!!!!!! It was also $10 a cup!!!! OUCH! It was worth it, though.

If you've never been to a brewery and drank fresh beer I'd highly recommend it, apoth.

You drink too much crappy domestic.

Oh, wait. You're in college! KEEP ON DRINKING CRAPPY DOMESTIC, MY FRIEND!

And just so you know, when it comes to crappy domestics, I go for coors as well. Seriously though, check out one of your local breweries. It's fun. And it's not expensive, that Barley Wine was the creme de la creme, but even the cheap brew are out of this world when you try them fresh. Beer is meant to be drank fresh.

My room mate is renting out the brewery at $70/hr for a party he's throwing in a few weeks. (They rent out the place on weekend nights) It's called Bristol Brewing.

The kicker? He's paying for it with company money (the company he works for, of course)! Yes, he has a much better job than I.
Oh, and btw:

I took my little camping trip with my little mushrooms and all I can say is; WOW.
I literally ran barefoot through the aspen groves - along the spongy, mossy forest floor, and watched the sky as it went from black to deep blue to red to orange to golden back to deep, deep blue....and the way it contrasted with the lime green of the aspens (Spring comes MUCH later at high altitudes, so it's like the equivilant of early may up there), the red of the rocks, the white snow still clinging to the higher peaks, the deep green of the pines, ect....was amazing.

Saw some rare birds. A woodpecker, um, some kind of owl. Not common to see those ANYWHERE anymore. Was kind of hoping to see a bear. I'm not really scared of the black bears around here. I respect them, yes. As long as you give them space they wont bother you. I know from experience.

Mountain lions are what scare me.

Anyway, it was amazing. Spiritually revitalising. I had been up all night, and watching the sunrise in the wilderness was really quite remarkable. I've always been a tree-hugging, emotional sap, though. I wish I had the patience to put my experience into better words. Maybe I will and I'll post it as a stand alone thread.

There literally was a moment where I felt like Adam in the garden of Eden and I was so moved by what I saw I literally had to kiss the ground on bended knee.

Yes, I was quite fucked up. But it was certainly one of the most intense spiritual experiences I've ever had.

I feel so blessed to live in this great state.

It's hard not to belive in a 'God' or at least an 'Architect' when you see this stuff first hand. Not on the television. You have to smell it, feel it, see it, touch it.

I was definitely feeling down and this was almost like God saying, "Hello. Yes, I'm still here." You see all this fucked up shit all the time and it starts to grind you down and make you cynical and unmoved by tragedies. This experience was like a breath of fresh air after being in a dark dungeon.

Okay, I'll stop now. Have fun in Telluride, Locke. Colorado fucking ROCKS!

EDIT: Even if you're not a doped up druggy running naked through the woods after smoking illegal marijuana narcotics and injesting highly addictive and deadly mushrooms.

Oh, I also saw a field mouse with big bulbous black eyes. We both just stared at each other. We shared a moment, that field mouse and I.

We shared a moment.

THE END

*dies from a marijuana and shroom overdose*

EDIT #2:

me so sorry. please forgive, soldier boy. me love you long time. but me must respond to apoth. so sorry. me so, so sorry.

PBR (I know Chubby will contest this one, I find the stuff undrinkable)

Your little beer chart was remarkably dead-on, for the most part. Bravo! By this point in college you SHOULD have such a chart. Bravo. If you're doing this well at beer consumption, I can only imagine how well you're doing in your chosen courses.

Keep those grades up and keep drinking beer. Also, you need to take advantage of a passed out freshman. I didn't write the rules, apoth.

God did.

...

God did.

Anyway, as far as PBR goes - I HATE THE STUFF!!!!!!!! It's just an American classic, and so I give it a tip of my hate...I mean hat, because it IS so horrible. I used to drink it because they sold it for $1 a bottle at this bar I used to go to.

And it's just a hilarious brand. I loved all the references to it in 'Blue Velvet'

Oh, and thanks to you and Ves for the 'Blue Velvet' referral. I recently showed that movie to a friend and now we're always quoting it.

"BABY WANTS TO FUCK!!!!!!"

lol. Ves should come back.

EDIT #3:


AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON BUDGET VODKA, APOTH. I'VE GOT VODKA STORIES THAT HAVE GONE DOWN IN LOCAL HISTORY.

Don't get me started on Budget Vodka. (Burnett's blueberry.)

Burnett's blueberry. And sometimes straight up Skol.

Vodka is the devil's serum. And I know I spelled Burnett's wrong.
































Burnett's Blueberry.

[apotheosis]

Vodka is the devils serum. Vodka and 151 rum. Actually, I've experienced 151 to lead to more absurdity and trouble than vodka ever does. Both can be very bad new though.

Speaking of vodka, has anyone made Green Dragon before? I am contemplating making a batch next fall so it will be ready for the winter. My question to those who have tried it, how are the effects? Is it worth it?

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Green dragon? No.

Tender nipples? Yes.

God you make me tender, apoth. You make me rub myself in ways that make jesus cry.

Sorry.

RUB IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!