Happy Caress the Ves Day!

[Vesnic]

Oh my giggly gosh! It's V-Day! And you all know very well what that means...it's Caress the Ves Day!

That's right, lazies and jammies, today is the annual celebration of my roaring insecurity complex and driving desire, nay, need, to be loved, honored, extolled, lauded, awarded, congratulated, at-a-girl'd and garlanded with pink boas and chocolate frosting and heaping great quantities of slavish devotion!

I know it's a lot to ask of you all, especially since you really will get nothing "back" so to speak, save the knowledge that you have done the right thing. When a goddess is in your midst, is it not mete and right to fall upon your knees in a most devout display of endless adulation and transcendent passion? Is this not what one does in the presence of a Venus, of an Aphrodite, of a...ny other famous love goddess? I am Huppa the Hellish and Blister the High-Breasted Tavern Wench of Upper Brackenwater. I am Zazula the Electroshock Zappy-Lass and Fernmaiden the Fair of Modest Mountain. In all my guises I am yet I! The one...the only...

The Ves.

Now show some goddamn respect!

Tee hee!

?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??

[Vesnic]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BatCountry]

Oh...Oh my gawsh... That image...That image for some reason I cannot really explain, is horrifying. I think its the squishy mitten down there that does it. Not that vaginas frighten me (the toothed variety do) but she looks like she has a swollen infection. What bothers me is that she looks so damn happy about it, I'm gettin the heebie jeebies.

*shakes it off*



Thats not why I'm here. I'm here to participate in some sort of strange annual forum ritual in which one of the most respected members gets man handled by a group of frothing, wide-eyed, pasty white nerds. Your culture and way of life is strange to me IS forum, but I will attempt to integrate myself as best I can. So...how do I....do it? Like....like this?!


*BatCountry extends palm, sweaty from nerves, and begins to caress the breasts of Ves*


Oh yeah. That feels right. So wrong its right. So right its wrong. Glad I got first dibs. Sloppy seconds are...unpleasant. What else do I do here? Say something nice about you? Do you really need the encouragement? If its tradition, I must yield.

*adorns Ves with pink feather boa and then falls to one knee and presents a gift to fair Ves, a pair of sparkly pink bat wings*

I hope you wear the wings. You can actually fly with them. Super cool. So is that it? Thats all I do right? I think I did okay for my first time.


EVERYBODY LOVES YOU VES! WHAT A SPECIAL LADY YOU ARE! THE FORUMS WOULD COLLAPSE AND CRUSH OUR FRAIL SKELETAL BODIES IF YOU EVER LEFT!


...
...


...........





*Fondles breast one last time, then runs*

[Vesnic]

Well done, my child.

You shall live to see another day.

You are a worthy specimen in deed.

And in spirit.

The Goddess shall remember you.

You are now in her sights.

And shall be forever.

[Vesnic]

More! I need

Moooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

[Vesnic]

Moooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

[Threadkiller]

yo id bang u.


ur kind of an attention whore tho
it wouldnt be like a regular thing

[End Master]

What the hell TK, your lazy ass didn't even bother with a picture this time. Get it together man if you want to keep your job around here.

Anyway it seems pretty logical that Bat and Ves would hit it off. She already got Apoth and Bat is alphabetically next in line.

I'm guessing that means Chubby will be up next soon unless his Bear alter ego steps up first.

[Vesnic]

Threadkiller--I too am disappointed in your lack of substantive contribution to my thread. All you did was mildly agree to have me, as long as you don't end up stuck with me, because I'm "kind of an attention whore".

What ever gave you that idea?

Was it "more" or "moooaaaarrrr!!!"?

End--You are still in the Goddess' good graces for the epic poem you recently wrote in Her honor. However, any additional up-pumping is always appreciated.


As for the rest of you hopeless little blighters...get crackin'!

[Bear Bipolar-Bear]

My little ears began to ring
Me thought I heard my name aloud
So ventured I forth to dance and sing
And do my fair young maiden proud

Her name is Ves, and all the rest
matters not to me, you see
For she is but the beary best
I bow to her on bended knee

Proclaimeth I, "My lady fair!
Who art so fresh and fit
Will you not have this unworthy bear?
Who in the bowl hath learnt to... sit?"

A knight of courage sorely tested
weaving through sylvan dales and leas
Gath'ring his strength at hearth-fire rested
wanting naught but fair Vesnic to please

He sees her wand'ring 'bout castle halls
Crenelated glimpses, piece-by-piece
Yet 'round her heart stand four mighty walls
Where a dragon blows fire without surcease

How now, Brave Bear, willst thou woo Lady Fair?
Who hath mortared herself in such shelter?
"Worry not!" proclaimed he, "For anon shall you see
I've had always the power to melt her!"

Thus galloped he onward atop his great steed
With celerity most unimaginable
Slavering mightily for the imminent feed
"They know not that I am a cannibal!"

The poor lady, caught unawares in her bower
Had not time, nor to pray nor to beg
For the bear did accost her, and within the hour
Remained naught but the bone of one leg

...
....


Oh wait a minute, I meant for this to be a sweet love poem. Oh I really am a shameful, greedy, fat little bear. I beg pardon, My Lady! Can I make it up to you? Perhaps we could go out for tacos. All the same, I hope you liked my poem.

I'm a nice Bear. I promise not to eat you.

As long as I get some beef.

Happy Valentine's Day every-buddy!

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I caress my penis.

Does that count? I caress my penis while thinking of ves. More often than would be considered "quaint".

It's usually a fantasy where I come in dressed all in yellow, with a purple strap on. I never actually fuck Ves. She puts on the strap-on and fucks me up the ass. Then I rub one out on her foot. Mmmm. She immediatly washes and disinfects the foot in question. I then beg her to let me suck on her foot.

She accepts.


So I suck on her foot. Ballerina feet.


Yikes.


Then she insists on sucking my left nut...........so I let her. She wonders why I havent trimmed my nether regions in over a year. I tell her its because I'm proud of a full bush and a man without hair on his balls is no man at all.

She says,"Ya. I wasn't saying you should shave it all off. But how 'bout a trim once in a while?"


I say, "good point."

And then I orgasm. Again? Yes. Why? Because.



two minuites follow. Two minutes of pure bliss that every man experiences after blowing some badder.



and then I cry.



And then I sleep.


RONNY!






Is anyone reading this?

Please stop.