Movies (recently seen)

[Ryan_DuBois]

Wow, I didn't know there were five of them. Thanks, I'll have to check out "Broken Steel".

[ChubbyTeletubby]

On Topic: I might go see Avatar over the weekend. Maybe...

Dude. Go see Avatar. We're gonna have a problem if you don't.

Yes, that's a threat.

[Ryan_DuBois]

It wasn't even that good...

[End Master]

I decided not to go see Avatar, I just can't be bothered.

I am however starting to watch the mini-series John Adams. I'm liking it a lot so far.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

I decided not to go see Avatar, I just can't be bothered.

I am however starting to watch the mini-series John Adams. I'm liking it a lot so far.

JOHN ADAMS WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would have tracked you down and murdered you in your sleep. You redeemed yourself.

I love you, End.

Sexually.

Shhh.

Ryan: Fuck you. Shhh.

[Ryan_DuBois]

I know you'd like to, Chubby... but knowing you as I do, I plan on keeping as far away from Colorado and Kentucky as possible. And all the bordering states, for that matter.



Sorry, brah. I think your avatar is cute and everything, but I just don't swing that way. Well... I mean, I dabble. But come on. who doesn't dabble these days?

Don't you "shhhsh" me.

[Hi! My name is: Katie]

Well Chubbs, you finally bullied End into going to see Avatar.

I saw Avatar earlier. I don't regret seeing it on the big screen. The special effects definitely made the movie for me. I don't think the film will be as remarkable once it is released on DVD. In fact, I fear it will be outright bad. Also, it made me want a hammock... I think End will be hooking me up with one for Valentine's Day. I don't want to make anyone blush so I won't share what he'll be getting for the commercial celebration of love day.

John Adams was wonderful. The American Revolution is my favorite American war. I like that time period a lot. Plus, Paul Giamatti is an amazing actor.

We've been slowly collecting the Maneater movie collection. They all seem to suck, but to varying degrees. So far Yeti and Blood Monkey have held a degree of fascination with the suckage. I have been developing a growing appreciation of bad movies. Who knows, I might even check out Jennifer's Body.

In other news End and I are probably going to be going mainstream with a subscription to Netflix. What should we check out first?

[Dragavan]

In other news End and I are probably going to be going mainstream with a subscription to Netflix. What should we check out first?

They have streaming... so watch as much as you want of everything you want.

The documentary about zombie movies (Zombiemania) was interesting. The documentary about Wal-Mart (Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price) was very good. The Michael Moore style documentary about how Michael Moore gets things wrong in his documentaries (Michael Moore Hates America) was also interesting. The documentary about the history of the Mac (Welcome to Macintosh) was pretty good, if you are a fan... and yes, I've been watching a lot of documentaries recently.

Fraternity House, BloodRayne, 4D Man, Transmorphers, and most especially 2012: Doomsday were bad (extremely bad on that last one).

Enchanted, The Spanish Prisoner, and Neil Gaiman's Short Film About John Bolton (actual name of the movie) were all pretty good.

But really, with streaming there is no reason not to watch lots of things.

[End Master]

MY AWESOME ADVENTURE TO SEE AVATAR!

So I finished the John Adams mini-series today and thought to myself: "Y'know this John Adams mini-series was really good, but I want to watch something else. Hmmm, well it looks like it's going to suck, but everyone else seems to like it so I think I'll go see Avatar!"

So in an unexpected burst of energy I decided to go see Avatar!

Since Katie saw it already she didn't go, however she did make the suggestion that I should change my pajama pants before I leave.

"Nonsense!" I said. "These pants will be fine, they're black with skull and cross bones all over them, people will just assume they're regular pants! Besides, I will be wearing my long black trench-coat the whole time, so nobody's even going to notice!"

With my lovely wife shaking her head at my impulsive behavior, I set out on my journey to see Avatar!

I arrived at the theater, but the 3D version was already playing, It was 3:14 and I would have to wait until 7:40 until the next showing, Fortunately the regular version was playing at 3:50 thus saving me time AND money due to it still qualifying as an early show! Yay!

I quickly got my ticket and that's when I notice a large group of people in the corner making strange noises...

It was a group made up of retards, mental patients and their "herders" busily trying to keep them in line. They were moaning and some of them even had deformities. They reminded me of zombies or mutants and one even shambled towards me. Not wishing to get bit and become one of them I made haste to the screening room to see Avatar!

I entered the room and took a seat at the very back as I normally do. I was early so I knew more would show up and sure enough many did. Mainly a bunch of annoying giggly squealy teenage girls with their cell phones. The kind that serial killers would love to anally rape and then cut up into 100 pieces.

Never the less I was not going to let future whores of America ruin my enjoyment of Avatar!

Then that familiar sound occurred again. It was the retard horde moaning and gibbering. Apparently THIS was the movie that their minders decided for them to see. Why do we allow such undesirables exist in this society? Shouldn't we have aborted these genetic mistakes or at least drowned them at birth?

Happily they all sat at the front, so I wouldn't have to be worried about them too much while trying to enjoy Avatar!

So the movie finally began and I was ready. When it was established that the humans and the Navi were already at war, I thought that was a promising start. None of this traditional "discovering the aliens, misunderstanding, war happens crap". Just right to the hostilities. Great.

Okay so they have to show the Navi side of things, so they do the typical thing where there's a human that learns to be like them. Yeah I saw it in like every movie where some white guy becomes part of some Indian tribe. Boring. BUT they add the extra thing where the "hero" is recruited by the bad ass drill Colonel (The best character in the movie) who tells him "Look son, you've got an opportunity to help humanity a lot by giving us info on these blue freaks. You do this, you'll be honored and you also won't have to be a fucking cripple any more."

Sounds pretty reasonable to me, I mean who the hell wants to be a cripple? And if it was the real world it should've ended with Sam doing just that. I mean I understand he liked the whole walking thing but that was going to get taken care of. I also understand that he wanted to fuck the blue cat freak thing, I mean Jefferson fucked slaves so it's only natural to mix it up a little right?

But really he already fucked the blue chick before the Colonel told him it was a done deal with fixing his legs and said he could ship out. At that point there really wasn't any more to gain.

Seriously were we supposed to feel empathy for the Navi or something. Sorry, but no. We tried to help them but giving them education and technology and they ultimately became hostile and tried to kill us.

They were illiterate, uneducated, hostile and had no great desire to improve their lot in life. If I wanted to see folks like that I'd watch the news about Africa or turn on BET.

Anyway I nearly fell asleep during some of the movie. The effects were okay, but nothing I haven't seen in other movies or some video game. Didn't start getting exciting again until the bad ass Colonel was blowing the shit out of the Navi home tree. I laughed when the daughter cried over her dead dad. Sounded like some 3 year old bawling because his trailer trash mom smacked him upside the head in the supermarket.

Of course in typical hollywood fashion they had to ruin the movie by giving it a "happy ending". How about a more realistic ending for a change, and the humans succeeded and the Navi had to relocate and build Casinos to adapt to their changing world?

So the movie ended with the humans getting kicked off the planet and being marched off into a ship like Jews into a concentration camp. (Yeah THAT'S somehow okay though, fucking hypocrites) Then the Navi-lovers get to stay with the rest of the alien savages and Sam achieves his goal of becoming a full fledged furry. Barf.

And why the fuck was everyone in the audience cheering Sam at the end? He was a fucking traitor to the human race! There was nothing "heroic" about him. Then again the audience I was with was filled with retards and air head whores, so I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different.

No the REAL HERO was Colonel Miles. He died a true patriot to humanity. :Salute:

Ultimately I left the theater in disgust before the retard horde could block the doorway and made haste to my car so that I could rush home and rant on the Infinite Story forums about my Awesome Adventures to see Avatar and call Chubby a complete fucktard for suggesting I see the movie in the first place.

But then on my way out someone said they liked my pants. So I guess it was all worth it.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Dear End,

Where to start? Where to start, indeed.

We'll start with the 'Future Whores of America' comment. Okay?

Shhh. Don’t answer. Anyway…

Wow. I feel like we've attained a spiritual connection here. I know exactly where you're coming from. For most of 2009 I was FORCED (because I live in this horrible place called earth with you horrible people called earthlings) to WORK in a fucking MALL.

Not only that, I hard to wear a tie and iron my clothes and SHAVE. And stuff.

Anyway, I’d see these droves of pre-teens ambling about and I would just shake my head. ‘Future Whores of America’, I would think.

Do these fucking 10 year old sluts not have parents!?!?!?!

Jesus fucking Mary in the ass Christ.

ANYWAY….

Did I say I liked Avatar for the plot? No. I liked it for the special effects. They were mesmerizing. Your senses have become dulled by playing too many video games, my friend. This flick was CUTTING EDGE in that department. Cutting edge. If you don’t appreciate the leaps made in this film…

I’m just speechless.

Katie, you need to get your man off his ass. He plays too many video games. His senses are dulled. I don’t know what else to say. Oh wait, ya I do…

You DIDN’T see it in 3D. YOU DIDN’T FUCKING SEE IT IN 3D!!!! That was a FUCKING GIVEN, dude. See the fucking film in 3D! That’s what everyone was saying. WOW. Okay, I’m as impulsive as they come. Compulsive, impulsive, whatever. So you went to the theater on a whim. Great. You can still take the five minutes necessary to see when the 3d showings are.

The movie was EYE CANDY In 3D. That’s it. EYE CANDY. I loved it for that fact alone. The CGI faces, the CGI characters, the CGI WORLD.

It was amazing. I love nature. I really do. I’m a total tree hugger. Always have been. I love the outdoors. I love the quiet, far away from any other humans. I’ve been in the Amazon rain forest.

I mean, that’s like my only claim to fame. I spent a month in the Amazon when I was 11. And I still consider it the highlight of my life.

This (film) was the closest I’ve been to that amazing experience of mine (when I was 11) since I was eleven.

I was eleven. When I was eleven. That's two ones. And I was there in the Amazon. That's a rain forest. And I was there. Like, totally there and stuff.

11. Shh.

Anyway, you’re right on several points. The most notable being your remarks on the Colonel. I loved him! James Cameron knew what he was doing.

The Colonel was the best one-dimensional character I’ve ever seen. He MADE the movie. Him, the marine (the star of the movie, I’m not a name person), and the CGI was what made the flick.

Katie, Paul Giamatti is a favorite of mine as well. Totally. John Adams was great. I love that period, too. The deeper you delve into that period, the more you love it. I especially like how honor-bound everyone was. For all their faults, the men and women of this age were LIVING it. They were LIVING it.

Okay, I’m going to calm down, shoot up some heroin, and come back. Maybe post some more meandering ramblings that go nowhere and that most of you will casually dismiss as ‘silly Chubby being high on highly addictive narcotics’.

They’re not THAT addictive, folks. Cold sweats are kicking in. BRB.

EDIT: That was the funniest thing I've read in awhile, End. I'm glad you saw the movie JUST for that little spiel. I re-read it like 5 times and I'm still laughing.

Really, though. C'mon. fuck you.

You didn't see it in 3D. Fuck you.

[End Master]

The movie was EYE CANDY In 3D. That’s it. EYE CANDY. I loved it for that fact alone. The CGI faces, the CGI characters, the CGI WORLD.

That's just it, I doubt if I would've liked it any better if I'd seen it in 3-D. Basically I'm not a graphics whore (more video game lingo for you), special effects are nice, but they don't make a movie for me. I could appreciate Ray Harryhausen's old school stop motion animation from "Clash of the Titans" about as equally as I could the CGI I saw in Avatar, if not more so since it was probably a lot harder and time consuming to do.

Anyway, I already knew the movie was going to be a Hollywood cliche going in, so I didn't really hate it. I just figured I'd add something a little more creative than my usual "I saw a movie, it was okay" line. (Along with unkind over the top references to minorities, the mentally challenged and free spirited youth)

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Anyway, I already knew the movie was going to be a Hollywood cliche going in, so I didn't really hate it. I just figured I'd add something a little more creative than my usual "I saw a movie, it was okay" line. (Along with unkind over the top references to minorities, the mentally challenged and free spirited youth)

No, no. You're Un-PCness was a breath of fresh air.

Thank you. Best review of Avatar I have read thus far.

You have a gift, my friend. Largely untapped, but a gift nonetheless.

I'm still laughing.

EDIT: :salute:

EDIT 2: The CGI in Avatar WAS painstaking, btw. I'm not a graphics whore, either. Trust me, END. I can hold my own in the video games arena as well.

I was completely OVER the CGI. Office Space is like my favorite movie, for Christ's sake. What Avatar did (and I was dragged by my mother to see this flick) was renew my faith in this medium. The faces, the eyes, ect.

If you don't see how amazing this film is I have to say, once again, your senses are dulled. Not a bad thing, just a fact. Perfectly human. We become accustomed.

I'll stop now. Again, hilarious review. Thank you. Only LOL moment of the day, for me - surrounded by these simpletons I call 'friends and family'.

[End Master]

Transmorphers, and most especially 2012: Doomsday were bad (extremely bad on that last one).

Since you've fallen prey to two of their number, you might want to make sure none of the movies you watch are distributed by "The Asylum". They have a habit of doing really bad "mockbusters" of mainstream movies. (And it's the "So bad, they're awful!" kind.)

It's weird though since some of the knock offs they make, have strong Christian overtones and are obviously done for a Christian audience, but others have a lot of sex and violence in them.

[Locke]

Yeah, I've never cared much about CGI either. And despite the film's obvious shortcomings and the theater from hell I saw it in, it still blew me away. It's just a different kind of art, is all (of course, I wasn't masochistic enough to go see it in 2D). And End, my obese guy trumps your annoying kids. I don't know as I'd bother going back to see the 3d version if I were you (in fact, I'm sure you're not going to anyway) since novelty is some of the fun, but I'm sure there'll be plenty of others like it - maybe some with plot or something.

Besides Avatar, I haven't seen a movie in a theater in a year or two (besides the last Harry Potter, which my uncle somehow convinced me to see after a long day of pseudoconstruction), because most major films are so predictable and lacking depth there isn't any point in watching them; seeing the trailer is enough. Given that that probably won't change any time soon, it's good enough for me they've actually obsessed over the effects to the point that I can start considering it a kind of art, and enjoy it on those merits. I've always been something of an aesthete, so I guess it's not a big leap. What I'm trying to say is, in the absence of plot (or acting ability and dialogue in some cases), there wasn't much to get out of the box office. It's about time for something new and refreshing. You heard some guy had a stroke during the movie, right?

Chubby, I agree with you for once. It will probably never happen again.

EDIT: I was going for dry humor with that last line, but on re-reading it, it comes across a bit harsh. Know that it wasn't intended to be.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

Oh, it will.

Sorry to burst your bubble, Locke. We share much more in common than you'd care to admit.

But fuck you, too.

Everyone knows I'm right on Avatar. So just shut up and gag on my rightness.

Shhh...

EDIT: I know, Locke. I know. Dry humor is what I live.

Thanks, though. That was a dry 'fuck you'.

We're all on the same page here, my friend. Still, everyone needs to gag on my rightness when it comes to Avatar. That includes you too, End.