IWT 10 - The Overpowered Character

[Vesnic]

Hey guys! Still here (kinda). I have made 0% progress on the story since last I posted but about 236% progress on the total number of hours most normal people sleep. Horray! I am a champion. Thanks for the well wishes.

And thanks for the cake, although I've never gotten any cake from any of you.

With Mizal and Locke duking it out over Master Troll Status, it makes me wonder...isn't a troll a sort of overpowered character? I mean, in the confines of a little forum community, a skilled troll can even readjust one's sense of reality. That's pretty powerful stuff. Way beyond the scope of a mere lady-hating Porifera.

Why won't this sticking pain on my left side go away? Glurb. I feel nauseous. That' why I'm going to a friend's for beers. Having this much work to do really isn't good for my delicate constitution. I wish I had made myself the hero of my own story so, like the comic book creators of yore, I could make myself into something so very much greater than I am. And then that little Transformer twit can send me sky messages about how sorry he is that he blatantly plagiarized my work. Shia is a Shithead!.

This post made some modicum of sense, right?

[End Master]

With Mizal and Locke duking it out over Master Troll Status

If it helps in throwing my own hat in the ring for the title of Master Troll Status I could write a three way sex scene between Ves, Mizal and Locke.

Highlights could include Mizal staring into Ves' eyes saying that she doesn't know how to handle her where upon Ves seductively lifts up her gypsy skirt and shows Mizal exactly how to handle her (Just like in the old country) all the while Locke looks on slack jawed at the hawt gurl on gurl ackshun and masturbating with a spatula. (In juggalo make up of course)

Then I guess I could say "UR MOMZ TROLOLO" and have Megaman anally and orally gang raped by My Little Ponies or some shit at the end.

[dreamshell]

Considering the mechanics of spatulbation intrigues and horrifies me.

I haven't actually written a damn thing. Lots of prep shit. Lots of stuff that'd probably be included in some form, if I ever started/finished.

But, hey, there's still a week.

[Vesnic]

I think this leaves little room for doubt. End is still King of the Trolls, even if he's now retired to a quieter role as Troll Emeritus. However, I understand that Trolls-r'-Us Membership is lifetime once one has reached the Legendary level, so hear hear to Endmaster, retired Troll and hunter of souls and sanities.

He's really just like the elder Bilbo Baggins, come to think of it, provided the book had been called LORD OF THE TROLLS.

Spoof, anyone?

[Usoki]

I'm partway through throwing something together, although if we need to stretch out the date just for the sake of getting actual participants, then so be it.

Also, I see no reason why trolls can't be overpowered. Knock yourselves out.

[BatCountry]

I'd be down for extending the deadline another week. I got a story in the works, but a little more time would be nice. I gots to watch my superbowls and be in prime nacho eatin shape for dat. No times for writin when watchin da foozballs.

I usually don't mind waiting last minute as it gives me a few rooms of pure madness and filth which I usually find funny when I go back to read them a few weeks after. Hell, some of the entries from past years have been nothing but madness and filth.

[mizal]

Ialthough if we need to stretch out the date just for the sake of getting actual participants, then so be it.

I'd be down for extending the deadline another week.

February deadline? Now this is just getting silly.

Silly even for THIS thread, and that's saying something.

[Vesnic]

In case you hadn't noticed yet, everything here is silly.

I vote small extension.

[End Master]

Hell, I'm waiting for the day when current contest deadlines are extended to the deadlines of the next contests.

[mizal]

Look, I have 20 pages that tell an almost coherent story. If I can manage it, me, the woman who has been known to spend an entire day writing two paragraphs, then absolutely no one else has any excuse.

That said, I wouldn't mind a little extra time to fill out some of the side paths. Right now the outline resembles more a pole with a few tiny twigs growing from it than any kind of proper branches, I've had to wipe a really unreasonable amount of gross old people butts these last couple weeks and I haven't had as many chances as I wanted to go back and polish.*

But for real, this has got to be the last extension, or like End said at this rate we'll be pushing it to December a week at a time.


*the story, not the butts

[mizal]

So, one more week? Y/N?

[BatCountry]

Its either got to be yes on one more week or I'll be in the shame pit lol. Only got ten rooms so far. We did start this contest like 3 months later so I don't see another little extension being such a bad thing. It's Usoki's show of course, so may he be a merciful lord.


SPARE US YOUR FLAMES OF DOOM OH MIGHTY USOKI!!! I will sacrifice a virgin in your name!

[mizal]

I will sacrifice a virgin in your name!

NOOO don't kill yourself BatCountry, it's just not worth it!

[BatCountry]

Never thought someone with a rainbow unicorn avatar could cut me so deep. Alas, Mizal has offended my slammin the salmon prowess. Now I must list off the notches upon my bed post for all to see and know that I am a goddamn sexual tyrannasaur.

1.) Lost my virginity to a 78 year old grandmother of six, while she wheezed into her respirator in hospice. Some would call it rape, I called it dusty love.

2.) A midget clown amputee by the name of Janice. The pasty white make up made it all the more sensual. Plus she didn't need to clean her face off to make the birthday party rounds. Ideal for quickies. No hands may seem like a negative, but you've never had a proper orgasm until you've been pumped by a stump.

3.) Siamese twins by the name of Nicole and Chloe. You know the saying two heads are better than one? Well...it's even truer when you got conjoined sisters slurp battling over your lolli like it was the last creamsicle on the planet. And sticking it in one squishy mitten to hear them both squeal like emaciated donkeys? Surreal and unforgettable.

4.) A hooker from the long past Soviet era. No name given but whispers about town gave her the moniker of "The Bear Trap". I didn't understand until I figured out she would stuff crushed glass into her vagina as she was some sort of sick masochist. After three romps of bloody agonizing sex, I wished her well then promptly decapitated her with a rusty shovel. Threw the head in the trunk of my car and now it sits proudly upon my mantle. A testament that the Bear Trap could never snare anyone again.

5.) Midget clown orgy. The fetish for midget clowns became an insatiable lust within me. The amputee fetish never stuck, as I only had eyes for the gnarled stubs of Janice. Even to this day...



That young Mizal, was just a taste. I hope you have learned your lesson for assuming things about other peoples lives. I would never have the audacity to accuse you of being a virgin or a slutty slew so I would appreciate it for the future if you could resist your temptation to draw me out in such public fashion to the point where I must feel the need to defend myself! I have the utmost respect for all of you here and my one desire is to be treated in kind.
Thank you.

[mizal]

Wow, I take back my little jab, and I'm so sorry I ever doubted you, man.

I mean, all your other (admittedly impressive) conquests aside...a midget orgy? Wow, just wow. I admit it, I'm jealous. That's the kind of thing most of us can only fantasize about every single time we watch The Wizard of Oz.