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  • Ves Ranting

    I am surrounded by fucktards.

    Ok, so today I took a long walk into town down my lovely country road in the pouring rain. The man at the video store lent me his umbrella because this is a small town where everyone knows everyone and he knows I'm the wholesome type to return something which doesn't belong to me. At the drugstore I got a few weird looks from people for having the moxy to be wet and in a public place, but all I have to say to those SUV-driving Earth-destroying lazyass motherfucking cuntrags is "I'm much healthier than you and will still be walking vigorously up the road while you're sitting at your dialysis machine looking anxiously at that massive pus-leaking blister on your foot that will have to be amputated because you have Type II diabetes, you lazy fat fuck." Plus, I scored my drugs (more opiates this time! It seems my doctors would rather I be calm and tractable than the way I am unmedicated). So that was a win overall.

    Things didn't really get annoying until I was walking back home. You see, I hate sidewalks. Especially the kind that are made by indolent backwater bozos who don't understand the concepts of straight lines and level surfaces. The sidewalks also tend to be covered with pine needles that are particularly slippery on days like today, and I don't really feel like testing my still-healing spine with a hard fall. It is also an indisputable fact that if you step on the crack, you'll fall and break your back.

    The speed limit on my street is 30 mph. I was walking on the left side of the road and not on the sidewalk, but it is my legal fucking right to walk on the left side of the road should I choose. I am still a pedestrian and that means cars yield to MOI. Some asshole was coming towards me at about 15 mph, slowly because there was another person coming the other way. The guy coming toward me was already almost at a stop, yet he felt it ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NECESSARY to continue driving by while the other car passed him. The fucker came so fucking close to me that I actually had to step backwards and sideways to avoid getting sideswiped. I turned around and threw my hands up in the air, which is my habitual, borderline polite gesture of what-the-fuckness, but he didn't give a shit. So I finally let my mouth loose and screamed FUCKING ASSSSSHOLLEEEE!!! at the top of my fucking lungs. I hope all of the neighbors and their cows heard.

    I hate the way people drive. He couldn't stop for TWO WHOLE SECONDS to safely pass me?! People drive like they'll never die, like life can't be snapped in half at the blink of an eye. I FUCKING HATE these myopic fucking fuckfaces who can only think ME ME ME and I NEED TO GET SOMEWHERE and MY TIME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LIFE. I mean, get a fucking imagination. Take a walk outdoors. Get off your fat fucking asses and get in touch with the things in life that are actually important.

    I am surrounded by fucktards.
    Last edited by Vesnic; 10-02-2011, 06:03 PM.
    My sanity, my soul, or my life.

  • #2
    Are you sure that it is really this event that has you upset? It seems like other things are bugging you and it was just this that made you come to a boil. You were already only a couple degrees away from the boil before it happened... am I right?
    Click it now.

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, having just risen from my steaming hot bath with epsom salts and lavender oil, I can say with a more level temper that yes, my rage was probably fueled by more than just nearly being run over today.

      But such is the beauty of a rant, angry tirade, effusion of negative energy, what have you...

      For any other ranters in the house, here is your spotlight!

      As for me, I will soon be off to purple dreamland.

      Bonne nuit, mes amis!
      Last edited by Vesnic; 10-02-2011, 06:03 PM.
      My sanity, my soul, or my life.

      Comment


      • #4
        Serenity: Français d'Ahh. Une langue beaucoup plus agréable que cet allemand abominable que Psy le retardé baisent, s'occupe du boucher sur une base quotidienne.
        OH FUDGE!

        Comment


        • #5
          Quatsch! Es kann jeder Esel sehen, dass deutsch viel besser ist!
          Last edited by Vesnic; 10-02-2011, 06:04 PM.
          My sanity, my soul, or my life.

          Comment


          • #6
            It's time for an English only rule on this forum, considering it IS the best language. (Klingon and the Pokemon Language are close seconds)
            Click it now.

            Comment


            • #7
              f-Iay ou-yay ay-say o-say, poth-Aay.
              Originally posted by Ryan_DuBois
              Usoki, you're the crankiest asshole we know. Not that it's a bad thing, it just means that you smell funny and are best left hidden in darkness.
              And it's embarrassing when you make any noise at all.

              Comment


              • #8
                Say what you want about me, but my driving record is absolutely spotless. I’ve never driven under the influence, nor will I ever. Never had a wreck. Never had a speeding ticket.

                I am appalled by what I see on the roads on a daily basis, or even the way my own ‘friends’ (or should I say, ‘enemies’?) and family drive. I usually WALK to the liquor store or bar. Or library. Even work, on occasion. I LIKE walking. I THINK when I walk. I breath. I take in nature. I take in life. I remember things. I anticipate the future. I even jog a little. I relish the burning sensation in my lungs and legs. I’ll tell you what, I climbed Pikes Peak in Colorado - 14, 210 feet. Everyone thinks I’m crazy for doing this, but I inform them that in most of the world people actually DO WALK. You fat fucking idiots. Americans are so fucking fat and stupid. I swear to God they are so fucking fat and so fucking stupid. And fat.

                And stupid.

                Fucking people.

                YOU’RE ALL FUCKING FAT AND STUPID!

                I really feel for you folks that have kids in this pitiful society because from where I’m sitting I’m just waiting with much anticipation for this whole world to fall to shit. Everybody is stupid and fat and I hate every god damn one of you fat fucking stupid fat fucks.

                I’m done.

                Comment


                • #9
                  (Nice one, Chubby)

                  A new rant:

                  The good feeling's gone now. God I need some more fucking pills. Or maybe just a big bottle. A big bottle broken over my head. Yeah, that'd be nice.

                  Think huge vats of boiling shit. Think children crying and clutching their teddy bears as the mushroom cloud fills up the sky behind them. Think Richard Simmons on a bad hair day. That is what this night has been.

                  Boy comes over to girl's house. Girl is dressed in sexy PJ's, including silk blouse with plunging neckline. Boy compliments girl on cleavage, and hangs out on her bed listening to tunes and talking dirty subjects, yet boy still picks up the phone when abusive ex-girlfriend calls demanding his attention. Girl is now dancing suggestively in front of boy. He is watching only between texts to said drunken slutcake. Girl has her fancy psychedelic disco speakers cranking. Boy is moping. Girl curls up on bed like a pussycat. Boy is still moping. Girl finally gets mad. Boy feels bad. Awkward silence ensues for the next three hours. Girl loses the mood entirely and doesn't even bother trying, and neither does he. Girl knows she is way out of his league, yet something in her allows her to demean herself by being his puppydog bitch. Girl loses all self-respect and turns to more drugs to calm herself.

                  Girl cries herself to sleep.
                  Last edited by Vesnic; 10-02-2011, 06:05 PM.
                  My sanity, my soul, or my life.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Girl needs to slow down.

                    Life is so short.

                    Who cares?

                    Just look up at the sky and never stop asking, "why?"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Shippo: Psy says I'm as smart as a wrestling fan.
                      OH FUDGE!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ves, that last one was less a rant and more a one-woman-pity-party. Drop the bastard. If he can't be there with you (and would rather use that time on his EX) then you're not looking at much of a future.

                        I'm pissed so this rant thread really appealed to me. I'm pissed at the auto shop down the street:

                        Do your job right the FIRST TIME asshole. Don't blame me for the mistakes you made and DON'T expect me to pay for them. I'm already 400 bucks on top of the estimate you gave me because of this mistake, and now because the bastard forgot to do his job when he was neck deep in my engine, he's trying to get me to pay him to get all the way back there to clean up his mess for the second time. And what the fuck am I supposed to do? cry and scream? tell him he's an asshole? take the car somewhere else? In the end, I'm still stuck with this problem and at least this guy knows what's wrong - he SHOULD. the fucktard DID IT. so now I'm stuck with a massive car bill for a job that should have been straight and easy - that I should have done myself - and I lose my car for another day. Tomorrow I'll have to take the god-damn bus in a city that's known to have one of the worst public transportation systems in the states. Don't worry asshole, it only take me 2 hours to get to my job by bus. Not a big deal to have to do that AGAIN for this same mistake - even though I've already done it twice in the past.

                        But we'll see who has the last laugh. I'll stand outside of your business with a fucking sign that says "Warning: bringing your car here is likely to cause your ass to bleed." I'll call all of my friends and have them spam the better business bureau with complaints ranging from "they screwed up my car then made me pay for it" to "we saw them smoking crack behind the building." Then I'll drive my car raw with a blinking oil light until a god-damn piston goes flying out of the hood, bring their asses to court, and finally have the matter settled by a judge. It's nice to have a lawyer in the family.

                        Car mechanics make the mistake of assuming that everybody who brings their car to them doesn't know shit about cars. Just because you don't admit to the mistake doesn't mean it's not as clear as day fuck-face - and would be to anybody that can change their own oil.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          That's the spirit, March! Rip the fucker limb from limb! Hang his viscera-oozing limbs from a flagpole. Tie his intestines around his shit shyster auto-shop and then burn the whole thing to the ground, making sure there's plenty of motor oil around before you light the match! Fucking users! Rid the world of that scum!

                          Heehee. Sorry, I had to giggle.
                          Last edited by Vesnic; 10-02-2011, 06:07 PM.
                          My sanity, my soul, or my life.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Vesnic View Post

                            Heehee. Sorry, I had to giggle.
                            Yeah yeah, i got a little carried away. It's not as bad as I'm making it out to be - but that's the beauty of the rant! Still - it's better than your "I'm sad! He's not paying attention to me" rant! lol

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                            • #15
                              May I suggest first person shooters? They always make me feel better when the opposite sex gets me down. Here are some suggestions:

                              Halo: Combat Evolved
                              Doom III
                              F.E.A.R.
                              Painkiller
                              Duke Nukem 3-D
                              Unreal Tournament
                              Quake
                              Heretic
                              Hexen
                              Ken's Labyrinth (it's retarded but fun)


                              (any sequels or prequels are appropriate as well)
                              Click it now.

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